Labels?

[Britney_413]

We all know how society puts labels on everything including trans people. It can be limiting at times and convenient at other times. The question frequently comes up where people ask what I am. Sometimes I don't want to or have time to go into a lengthly explanation so a label could be a bit easier if there is one. I don't consider myself transsexual because I'm still in the questioning phase. On the other hand, I under-dress every day (panties), and go out fully dressed anywhere from 2-4 nights per week. Usually this is at bars/clubs/restaurants that are trans-friendly.

While I used to just call myself a crossdresser, that term doesn't seem to fit right either. I don't see myself as a man who likes to entertain himself in women's clothes. Instead, I see myself as a woman and wish to be treated as such. Even when I am dressed as a male which is how I appear when business has to be taken care of (work, errands, family visits, friends who I'm not out yet to, etc.), I still don't feel all that masculine. Sexually, I see myself as female in the equation and considering that I'm bisexual that applies regardless of whether I am dating a man, woman, or another TG. I'm thinking I might be TS but again am not sure yet. But I'm somewhere between a CD (crossdresser) and a TS (transsexual) at least at this point.

Any thoughts anyone? I feel like when I tell someone I'm a CD I am not giving them the full accurate picture. I won't say I'm a pre-op TS because I really haven't finalized that decision yet. On the other hand, I have tried telling people I'm simply transgendered but then they can't understand how that would be since I'm not full time. I just want to be myself but it is hard explaining this stuff to people. Even other TG people don't really understand sometimes. I appreciate anyone's thoughts. Thanks.

[Lucy]

Mmm sound like you have A dilemer here, as you say lables dont fit all situations and it is much easier to not to use them. Pre-op non transitioning or just tans-gendered does it really matter..

[Kaelin]

As Lucy alludes to, you can be a transsexual whether or not you intend to have an operation.  Whether you determine you are a pre-op or a non-op, you should trust your feelings about your identity, and it sounds like you may feel most correct as a woman.

There are additional possibilities concerning gender (androgyne, other gender), and someone of any gender (including you as a woman) can still be "androgynous" (having a particular gender identity, but not necessarily conforming entirely to gender norms).  There is a wide range of possibilities available, and these may not be complete, but perhaps they open up new ideas to you so that you might figure out where you are most comfortable.

Take your time.

[Alyssa M.]

My label says "machine wash cold gentle cycle with like colors only non-chlorine bleach when needed tumble dry low cool iron."

I think you're talking about words, and you've just used them to perfectly coherently describe you situation without putting yourself into a box. Congratulations! It is certainly unfortunate that lots of people can't seem to do that, that they seem to believe that, since words are discrete, human experience must be discrete as well. But that is an abuse of language. Words are signposts in a vast continuum of human experience. Most of the time the only word I need to use to describe myself is, "Alyssa," just as people I meet don't usually label themselves with anything but their own names. If I'm talking with a friend about issues I'm having with my gender, I might say something like what you said in your post, but otherwise, "Alyssa" is the only label I need.

Except when I'm doing the laundry. 

[Audrey]

or just dont tell people anything avoiding the problem all together

[K8]

I told people I'm transgendered, since I understand that to mean that I don't fit into the usual male/female binary.  To me, TG is an umbrella term that includes crossdresser, transexual, androgyne, etc.  Maybe other people understand the word differently. 

If they need more explanation, I can tell them that I was born a woman with a male body, but most people just accept me as I am without a label.

In the end, you are you - whatever that may be.

- Kate

[Genevieve Swann]

Simple solution. Do not label yourself! You are Britney_413, end of conversation.

[Britney_413]

I appreciate everyone's comments and advice. I think I will more or less take Kate's approach and if someone needs a label, I will just tell them I'm transgender and if they need more information I can explain further. It is not an issue I bring up but something usually other people bring up. I dress as a guy at work and in most public places but my hair is getting longer. I dress up as a girl when I go out to TG-friendly clubs. So new people who see me as a girl are sometimes curious if I'm TS, just a CD, one of the drag queen performers, etc. I may not always have the time to explain everything so maybe it is just best to say I'm transgender but have not yet begun an official transition yet. I'm out to a lot of people at work and even though they are accepting, they always seem to want to know the weekend scoop. Anyway, we'll see how it all goes! Thanks again.

[Khrist]

I know the feeling, although I rarely find myself in a situation where I have to explain myself since I'm not an incredibly social person. The most explaining I have to do is to my own established friends and acquaintances, so I guess in a way I'm lucky.
As far as labels, just go with what you feel. I like what K8 said, about being born a woman in a man's body.

[gennee]

I consider myself a transgenderist. I'm somewhere between a crossdresser and a transsexual. People see me as transgender and that's fine. I don't let labels define who I am.

Gennee

[Lucy]

I appreciate everyone's comments and advice. I think I will more or less take Kate's approach and if someone needs a label, I will just tell them I'm transgender and if they need more information I can explain further. It is not an issue I bring up but something usually other people bring up. I dress as a guy at work and in most public places but my hair is getting longer. I dress up as a girl when I go out to TG-friendly clubs. So new people who see me as a girl are sometimes curious if I'm TS, just a CD, one of the drag queen performers, etc. I may not always have the time to explain everything so maybe it is just best to say I'm transgender but have not yet begun an official transition yet. I'm out to a lot of people at work and even though they are accepting, they always seem to want to know the weekend scoop. Anyway, we'll see how it all goes! Thanks again.

BRIT

Good attitude, your go far//////// keep it up

[Nicky]

Well, it seems to me the most important label here is woman. You are a woman, at least that is what you said. That pretty much sums it up. The rest is just detail you can fill in when appropriate.