Today was the first day I wore all women's clothes. Nothing overtly feminine: mockneck, chinos, laceup boots, loose jacket. I've worn similar clothes in the male style around town for years. I had on just a touch of eye makeup and some unobtrusive lipstick, but no earrings or padding.
As I was stepping out of my car, one of my neighbors was walking by. He teaches at the university in town. He is of a religion that generally is not accepting of those who are different. We have always been friendly but don't see each other often. I probably hadn't seen him since I shaved off my beard. Since then I have had my hair cut in a woman's style, colored it to hide the gray, shaped my eyebrows, gotten unisex eyeglasses, had five laser treatments on my face, and been on hormones for only 2½ weeks. I look different now but the differences aren't huge.
My neighbor started to just say hi, but he stopped in his tracks, squinted just a bit, and said: "You're going through the change" with the hint of a question in his voice. I laughed and said I'm going through a lot of changes. He said: "No, you're going through the change, aren't you?" I told him: "I am – it's something I've wanted since I was little." He said he had had some students who went through the change; he'd see them years later and they'd have to tell them who they were. He asked if it was something I had always known I would do. I said no, but as each door opens for me I want to open the next. He asked if I was happy. I replied: "Wonderfully happy." He said: "good" and asked me what he should call me now. I told him, he wished me well, and walked off.
I went into the house, hugged myself, and burst into tears of happiness, relief and gratitude.
Thank you to all who have walked this path, making it easier for those of us following you.
I have now told more than two dozen people here in town. Most are curious, but almost always the reaction seems to be: If that's what you want to do, then why not do it?
Why not indeed.
- Kate
