Hey, begining hrt soon

[Coatl]

Well im going to be beginning hrt at the end of the month and getting both anxious and nervous, its a great thing thats going to begin repairing this abomination of a male form and allow me to be a step closer to the girl i know i am. Though like anyone else im sure, i have alot of fears about this, everyone says il turn out great so i just listen to that, but im scared of what if breasts dont fully develope, what if my frame can never be seen as female, etc etc. Though im looking forward to all the changes hormones can do! Any advice to help control these dam fears and worries? ive tried ignoring it but this past week im tearin mself apart with looking at any natural girl and my mind just tells me "youl never look like that, never have the hips or shoulders, never the ribs, never the face, etc etc" its a stupid fear, but my brain i think is at war with the subconscious O.o No bueno!

then again i am 18, and everyone also adds im at a perfect age for great results and already have a "feminine" build, i dont see it, but thatd be nice! I know not to expect miracles of this, but i know it changes alot of the body for the better, maybe my mind will settle when i finnaly have the T out and the E in and start seeing results

though  none the less, im still excited and tell my mind to shutup and know il get there, just one step at a time! Ide rather be an average girl than a handsome guy any day hehehe

[K8]

It's natural to have fears.  Don't try to avoid them - they'll just come back stronger.

Read the effects of the hormones on some legitimate sites.  That will help you to have reasonable expectations.

Look around you.  Very few cis-women have perfect bodies.  (It helped me when I decided I'd rather be an ugly old woman than any kind of man.)

It takes quite a while for the hormones to do their work.  You may not notice anything for a while, so don't dwell on What-ifs.  Once I started hormones I gradually felt happier and more relaxed.  Part of that was just from making the decision to start, and part of it was - as someone on this site said - finally running on the right grade of fuel.

Since you are less than 1/3 my age, the hormones will probably benefit you more than they will me.  But each of us is different.  Hormones are a step in the process but they aren't magic.  As my therapist said, passing is an internal thing.  You'll need to continue working on those internals, too.

I've found each step scary.  And I've found each step wonderful.

Good luck, dear.

- Kate

[Coatl]

thank you for your reply! I agree alot on what you said, for all i know it really could be as you said "finally running on the right grade of fuel." just stupid fears, but il never let them influence my decision, begining at the end of the month and gona love every second of it! girl of any form bests male any day! Just have my own foolish moments of fear or such like anyone else haha

*hugs* thanks for the words of advice!

[FairyGirl]

chances are very good that at age 18 you will have excellent results; you haven't even really reached full physical maturity yet!  But I try to look at it like I will be thankful for any changes that occur, and not set unrealistic expectations. So far I have to say I've been pleased with my progress, but I tend to be a bit impatient. Just remember it's not going to happen overnight, it takes time for the changes to occur.

Susan's wiki can tell you something about what to expect:

https://www.susans.org/wiki/Hormone_replacement_therapy_%28male-to-female%29

[Tristan]

yeah you will do very well since you are starting out at 18. the younger the better

[K8]

Hi Coatl,
I was thinking about this some more this morning.  I loved starting hormones because it was another milestone in my transition, but I think the physical change that has been the most important to me has been clearing my face of hair.  I'm far enough along on that now to see a real difference.  I seldom wear more than a little eye makeup and the lack of whisker shadow on my face is a huge boost to my confidence. 

Probably the next biggest physical change that has helped me has been what my hairdresser does - hair, eyebrows, nails. 

Hormones are down the list, along with working on my voice and walk and how I carry myself.  I've only been on hormones two months, so maybe I'll feel differently as their effect is more noticeable.  For now, though, I figure hormones are just one tool in the toolbox we use to become who we are inside.

Congratulations on starting the hormones soon.

- Kate

[colormyworld]

Hey sweetie! Exciting that you'll be starting hormones soon! Just kinda wish I would have heard of this from you instead of reading it here, but I'm still happy for you nonetheless!

[Renate]

I have a completely contrary opinion to K8.

Hormones are what finally gave me a fully functional, happy and emotional brain.
It would be difficult for me to measure the importance of mental/emotional changes versus physical and social changes.

[K8]

Hmmm, you may be right, Renate.  I loved the effect when the anti-androgen kicked in.  I've found the effects of the estrogen to be much more subtle.  I am far happier than I used to be, but is that from finally deciding to do this?  From presenting myself as a woman and everyone accepting me?  From seeing I can actually live as a woman, as I've always wanted?  From the estrogen?  In a word: Yes.  It's just hard for me to separate out the estrogen effects.

Anyway, reading your other posts I've found you to be right most of the time, so you're probably right about this, too, Renate.  Thanks for the perspective.   I often live very much in the moment and blissfully forget my past.  In this moment, I'm beginning to see the wonderful effects of the whisker-clearing, so that's what I think of.

*hugs*
Kate

... and now back to our regularly-scheduled thread.

[FairyGirl]

I have to agree with Renate as well. Transitioning opened the door for me to be set free, but it was the hormones that broke the chains.

[Coatl]

I have to agree with Renate as well. Transitioning opened the door for me to be set free, but it was the hormones that broke the chains.

i love how you put that and look forward to beginning! because thats kindof how im feeling, begining feels good and all, but for me its such a physical problem, hormones will help alot with that, slow changes for the better.

[Janet_Girl]

 BLESSED BE THE 'E'.  Can I get an "A WO?MEN" 

I loved being on 'E' more so than the Spiro   I had already killed that part of being male. years ago, by sheer desire  My ming and body are finally getting to an agreement.  GRS, Hell yes..   But more so for me to looking in the mirror and see ME after all.