She won't stop!!!!

[Jack12]

My mom keeps tellin me I'm not a boy and never will be and that I need to get over it! Why won't she stop!!! Everytime she says that it tears me down for days and reminds me I'm not normal and never will be and UGH!!!! HOW DO I MAKE HER STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It hurts so bad!!!!She tells me I need to go on meds for thinkin I'm a boy or ever gonna be one. She calls me crazy and omg how can she say those things to me!!!!

[beth]

Hello Jack,


                     Your mom says those things because she loves you and thinks of you as her little girl. She thinks that resisting your thoughts of being male might change them.  Discussing this issue with her is very important.  Moms often seem to be a pain but they are the person who loves you the most and care about your well being the most.  It is hard to do, but talking to her about yourself without being upset is the best way for both of you to understand each other's feelings. If it were me, I would research the net and find articles that explain your feelings. Do it like you are doing a paper for class. Print out articles so you each can sit down and see the details and possibilities. Ask if you can see a therapist. This will help you decide exactly how you feel and the therapist can talk to your mom. Good clear information will help you understand where you stand and help mom understand also. This will be much more productive than an arguement about the possibility of you becoming a boy.

Life is very tough at times but it will get lots better.

beth

[Jack12]

Well she won't let me see a therapist but when I was going to counsoling and I got diagonsed with GID my counsoler talked to her and explained it to my mom and she said that the counsoler was wrong and that she would not support me and she got mad and hasn't let me even see a counsoler ever since...

[beth]

Well she won't let me see a therapist but when I was going to counsoling and I got diagonsed with GID my counsoler talked to her and explained it to my mom and she said that the counsoler was wrong and that she would not support me and she got mad and hasn't let me even see a counsoler ever since...

              Time passing is a great help for this kind of situation. Hang in there with your mom, remember how much she loves you and cares about you even tho you may disagree on things. Do not let the disagreement lessen your love for her either.  If she wants you to go on meds, that involves at least a trip to a medical doctor or a therapist. Explain to the doctor or therapist how you feel and how you feel meds will help or not help you.  It may take lots of time, but researching for things written by doctors and experts that describe exactly how you feel will be helpful at some point. Being as mature as possible regarding the situation, tho hard, is the best approach.  Being defiant and argumentative to express your frustrations only play into thoughts that you are too young to know what is best. The best way to resolve this is through your mom. It will take time, but going around her or defying her may lead you to less than desirable situations and people who do not have your best interest at heart as she does.   


beth

[Dennis]

You can't change what she says, only time will do that. What you can do is change the effect it has on you. This is really hard, but what I did with my mother is ignore her when she started on that topic. I would turn away, change the subject and not engage at all with what she was saying.

You are not her therapist. You will only make things worse for yourself if you listen enough to argue, correct, or interact. If necessary, even say, I don't want to talk about that with you.

Dennis

[Kismet]

An important thing to remember, too, is...
She doesn't have control over you, or who you are. She can't make you go on medications, because that's <i>your</i> mind and your way of thinking. That's a precious thing, and drugs alter you. Basically, what your mum is saying is that she doesn't want YOU. She wants the 'you' that she's envisioned, and that's wrong.

Stay true to yourself.