Ts or Androgyn?

[katoey]

I am confused about this. Since my childhood, I dreamt of becoming a woman. I dressed feminine whever I had chance.

Even tough, I wish to be impotent, I always enjoy masturbation (I guess to much for a Ts).

I always hated my body hair & male looking parts.

But I liked computer games, planes & war movies.

Tough, I never liked to fight, soccer, motorcyle stuff, bodybuilding etc. I hated them all.

I also played with soldiers but even when I was 6, while playing my girlfriends.. I was the daughter of the house and she was the mother.

Tough all were bearable till I was 22. Then suddenly everything changed.
I wanted to be a woman.

I had electrolyses.. Lived as a woman about 2 years and even started on hormones... And loved it!

However, the society is harsh.. Unable to find a proper job and because of other reasons, I had to stop.

Now, I live as a man. I feel pain from time to time, but nothing unbearable..yet at least. I have no idea what will be in future.

Did anybody has faced a smiliar situation before?

So, what am I? What is your opinion?

[Nicky]

Transexual and androgyne are not the same types of things. You can be androgyne and a transexual.

I guess the most important question is - are you a woman? You know better than any of us, what do you think?

My only comment is that you have lived as a woman for a couple years and it felt right, regardless of your gender identity, this is a really good indication of what you want.

[katoey]

androgyne and a transexual?

so, androygn is the person who have the traits of both sexes.. regardless of gender.

while feeling fem.. she may act like a male. right?

[Nero]

while feeling fem.. she may act like a male. right?

Some women may act in ways that our culture calls 'masculine'. Yes. Masculine or feminine traits are separate from gender.

[TooManyToasters]

Androgynous people display traits of both sexes, yes, but androgyne can also be a gender identity in and of itself. Being androgynous and being an androgyne are not necessarily the same thing. If you identify as a woman and feel strongly that that is what you should be, then that is what you are, regardless of how you act or present yourself.
So, while you have some androgynous traits, that doesn't necessarily mean you're not TS.

[Nicky]

I was comming from the perspective of androgyne being a gender identity itself, so a person can be a male, a female or an androgyne (among other things) e.g. If I don't feel like I am a male or a female but somewhere inbetween I might identify as an androgyne. I don't have to look like it or act like it. But if at the same time I desired a sex change from male to female then I could be a transexual too.

A  lot of people consider transexual to describe when your body and mind don't match in terms of male and female and that is a valid definition e.g. you have a male body and a female gender identity. It can also describe the physical change from one sex to another i.e. you are not a transexual untill you have had surgery to change your genitals or have the desire to do that. Most transexuals would still go around saying I am a man or I am a woman. Transexual in itself is not a gender or a gender identity - while androgyne can be used to describe a gender or gender identity (it is also used by some to describe a desire to look androgynous or act androgynous).

Confusing eh?

All that matters is what you feel.

If you are a woman, it is ok to enjoy masturbation with your male parts. There is no shame in that and would not make you less of a woman. If you are a woman then it is ok to like male things, it does not make you less of a woman. If you are a woman, living as a man does not make you less of a woman.

[katoey]

A nice reply. It is the ...  most meaningful explanation I heard till today, I guess.

I started the HRT without the confirmation of doctors because of stupid Henry Benjamin stuff.

No other explanation made me feel like yours

Actually, this is how most women or men living. No one would call a woman a Ts, if she watches soccer wen she is completely content with her gender..

Evev when I put a side my feelings.. You sound more logical.

[Nicky]

Exactly, nobody could say a woman is not a woman just because they like to watch soccer. Sounds like you have got the idea.

Hope this has been helpful.