I don't want to cut my hair

[am529]

My parents keep telling me I need to cut it to get a job though (it's about an inch longer than in my pic now). They keep trying to tell me that no one would want to hire me with long hair. I'm not sure I believe them though, and I couldn't stand to lose it. I just hate having short hair, it makes me look more masculine. I was wanting to grow my hair out to at least 12 inches (twice as long as it is currently), but I don't know if that's going to happen.

[ilikepotatoes]

Yeah, I used to get that too. There's often a mid point in growing out your hair where it looks worse than short hair but not as nice as having genuinely long hair and there is less you can do with it. It took me about a year and a half to grow mine to where my mother stopped bugging me to cut it and I started getting compliments on it. Now she wants me to get it styled.

I was employed when my hair was six inches long.

[am529]

Ok, thanks. That makes me feel better.

[Melissa Ryan]

Honestly, people will see you for who you are. If your neat overall, they will see that. I always had long hair. I cut it to around a similar length to your avatar when I got married the first time nearly 20 years ago. I didnt have a hair cut after that for 7 years. I went through a few jobs, and my hair since has never been shorter than my avatar is now. Your parents just want you to look neat as they would like to see. But the rest of the world, as I said, if you are neat overall will just accept you.

[Windrider]

I can tell you that's not true. Danielle has had long hair for *years* and had no problem getting a job with it while still looking male. Her hair is about 20" long now.

Hair generally looks messy when you're trying to grow it out. It has to do with not all of your hair grows at the same rate and your previous haircut. See if you can go to a hairdresser and get them to trim it up so it looks tidy for the interim. As long as you look neat and presentable, job interviews should be OK.

WR

[miniangel]

Agreed. Keep getting it trimmed so it's neater rather than shorter. Let it grow longer but in a tidy fashion.

[barbie]

Yes. As others suggested, making your hair look neat would be an option.

I am a government employee, and certainly has longest hair among male employees in this country 

Barbie~~

[FairyGirl]

My hair is down to my navel and I worked a corporate job for years without any hair hassles whatsoever. I kept it clean and neat but always wore it down at work, never in a ponytail. The thing is, the company couldn't say anything about it as long as I performed my job well, which I did. There are places to work where it is against company policy to discriminate based on gender. To have required me to cut my hair they would also have had to have similar requirements for both male and female employees which they did not.

Maybe in your town there might be some company that has a decent policy like that? Worth checking around and might save you some trouble. Anyway, these days hair length is not as big a deal as it maybe was when your parents were your age. Look around- you see long hair everywhere, on both males and females.

[Miniar]

I look more feminine with short hair than with long hair... so I don't want to cut my hair either.

[Lyric]

There are many small businesses and companies with bigoted policies that discriminate against male employees with hair longer that x length. These days, though, I think those employers are in the minority. I live in a pretty conservative region and see males with long hair working in many places-- big businesses and small.

What I have always found is that people are more accepting of long hair when it looks good on you. If you wear it in a simple and common style, even if the style is normally worn by the "opposite" gender, people are more likely to accept this as the way you should look. When you've got that "growing out" look, your hairstyle can be mistaken for negligent grooming. Go to extra effort to keep it in great condition and trimmed nicely. Use mousse or gel and shape it neatly, if necessary. Once your hair is about chin length all around, you can tuck it behind your ears a bit, too.

Just remember that most people (even parents) object more to "bad hair" than to "long hair".

Lyric

[tekla]

You are young, which I take it means you have no real job skills, or work history (and, FTR I will not hire anyone who does not have a work history, I'm not going to be put in a position of having to teach them how to work).  So, I would think that the only way you are going to get hired is by making one hell of a first impression.  In some places unemployment is as high as 10-15%, which means the competition, even for marginal jobs is fierce.  So, would you rather have cool hair and no job, or money and a bad haircut.  No brainer really.

[ilikepotatoes]

This is just for a job during college, right? Whatever kind of place hires students, like Pizza Hut or McDonalds or a gas station or Target or whatever aren't going to care about your hair length. Really don't worry about it. You look too pretty to cut your hair.

Here's some job advice: check your local area's employment agency. Part of the federal stimulus money is going to certain areas to create temporary summer jobs for teens and adults under 25, because we've had a hard time getting into the job market right now.

[am529]

thanks for the replies everyone. I've made my decision. Also I got some really good job leads today.

[Nicky]

What did you decide?

[am529]

ok, well I'm still not really too sure. I want to get it trimmed a little bit, but I'm still not sure what to do with it. The problem with my hair is that unless I straighten it every day (which I gave up on a while ago), it reverts to its natural state which is extremely curly. http://www.hairfinder.com/haircollections2/jesien7.htm This picture is about the closest example I could find of how curly my hair naturally is (except it doesn't look that nice).

[Lyric]

Well, if you get a fast food job or something like that, they'll make you wear a cap or a hairnet anyway, so that might be the ideal work situation for when your hair's in the awkward stages of growing out.

I don't know what your plan is, but it would seem to me that it's about time to try and get some parental support of your gender ID situation and aim toward presenting yourself that way. If you were to get a job as a woman, your hair length certainly wouldn't be an issue. Sooner is better with that stuff.

Lyric