in what order did you/will you transition? & questions

[Vancha]

Well, as far as I see it, people will know eventually when you get on testosterone... You always have to worry about whether someone will actually harass you about it, but more often than not... A binder won't cause that sort of thing.

I wish I had one!

[Radar]

Drain, I remember the first day I started wearing my binder. I felt kinda self conscious the first couple days, wondering if any of my friends were staring at me...but i loved it. Then it became just a way of life.

I was the same way. When I first starting wearing a binder I wondered if people would notice my breasts are pretty much, well, gone. No one's said anything. No one. Now, if I go out not wearing a binder I feel embarrassed because my breasts just seem so huge (even though they're not). Now I love my binders and feel "naked" without them.

[Jamie-o]

Yeah, wearing a binder at work was a major step for me.  I, too, was nervous and self-conscious.  But so far only one person, to my knowledge, has noticed, and he hasn't actually said anything.  In fact, the only comment I've heard is, "Hey, have you been losing weight? 

The hardest thing by far for me was coming out to my family.  My mom has always said that she was so glad I was a girl, and how much she didn't want a boy.  Ruining that illusion was tough. 

[milliontoone]

The order in which I have/ am doing things is pretty much as such:

1, Came out to myself and then my partner
2, Starting presenting as a man, wearing male clothing and binding,
3, Cut my hair
4, Stopped removing my body hair
5, Came out to everyone else (apart from some family members)
6, Legally changed my name by deed poll, changed all my other details except bank, passport and birth certificate
7, Made an appointment with my GP, got doctors letter took to bank and changed my name on account
8, Got a referral to a psychiatrist, saw psychiatrist twice
9, Got green light and got referral for Gender Clinic, saw pysch at Gender Clinic
10, Stopped smoking
11, Started Testosterone Replacement Therapy

I will always most likely be on T but I also definately want to have top surgery and possibly a hysto and I ideally would want phallo or meta surgery as well  as getting rid of "the hole".   Oh and I will change my name on my passport as soon as I have the money and also I am going to apply to change the sex on my birth certificate as you can do this now but it is a lengthy process I hear so I will probably look into getting this done soon but not yet.

For me starting hormones has made the biggest difference to my peace of mind and quality of life.  I just feel so right now I can't explain it, there have been physical changes of course but that's not the reason why as I don't even pass yet.  My body just finally feels right.

[Randy]

So Far...

-Came Out
-Found Gender Therapist
-Got more masculine haircut/clothes
-Binding
-Started T
-Changed Name/Came out at Work
-Packing

Hopefully coming soon...

-Top Surgery/Gender Change
-Hysterectomy
-Bottom Surgery

[Mr. Fox]

1. Figure stuff out kinda
2. Make vague, unsuccessful attempt to get help
3. Figure stuff out better
4. Decide to wait until 18
5. Go "Ah, screw it, I can't wait that long"
6. Come out to parents, who arrange for you to see a non-gender therapist
7. Come out to some close friends.
8. Come out to teachers, who leak to the administration and cause drama
9. Putter around avoiding the issue for a semester.
10. Come out massively on facebook and generally be fulltime

I also got short hair somewhere in there, but I haven't had a haircut since August, so yeah.  So I've learned how much of passing is based on hairlength: before I passed maybe 70% without binding and with some crossdressing, and now I pass about 0%.  It is sad.

Future plans: Go on hormones and get surgery and change name legally.  Which I can't do for about a year.  Argh.

[GnomeKid]

So far:
1. bought binders (one thing i couldn't live with anymore is boobs)

2. came out to parents (not shocked)

3. gender therapy (mom helped me find one after I came out to her)

4. chest surgery (about a year and a half after coming out to my parents/starting therapy [stopped therapy and then went back before surgery.. therapy isn't my thing really)

5. bought a packer (and am going to make it into an STP)
That is where i'm at now.
Here is what I'm thinking in the future:

Right now I'm toying with different names and trying to find one that I think fits me well

Also my mom has the name of a place that I'm going to go to to talk to them about hormones (hopefully trying to avoid as much therapy as possible.. I'm really bad at talking to therapists)  I want to do the name change and start hormones as closely as possible as well as changing gender markers on license and such.

after that I think I'll be done for a while.

[noxdraconis]

I have had short hair and male clothing and went by a male nick name at home since I was little, so I will start this list with when I did some more blatant actions regarding my transition.
1. Started going by a male name outside the home.
2. Bound with a combo of ace bandages and duct tape.
3. Admitted to myself that I was trans.
4. Came out to parents.
5. Bought a real binder and a packer.
6. Went full-time.
7. Had a legal name change.
8. Went to a therapist. Got my letter.
9. Went to endo and started T.

Up next...
1. Change DL to male before school starts up again.
2. Have top surgery next summer and change BC and SSN sex markers.
3. Have bottom surgery (full hysto, not sure on exactly what else, but there will definately be some type of outer genital modification).

[Nero]

3. Admitted to myself that I was trans.

That's the big one isn't it? One of the harder steps. Took me awhile.

[Quicksand]

Love this thread!  It's so funny how different everyone goes about it, even though we all have a similar end goal in mind.

Me:
1. went completely insane one day, dropped out of high school, and shaved my head
2. came out to family (if you can believe it, they had already figured out something was up--see step 1)
3. let my stubble grow out, which stopped my acne too--four years of shaving against the grain isn't the best thing for your skin
4. bought binders, returned for a smaller size, felt good about being able to fit into a smaller size than I had thought I'd need
5. quit my job!  this actually was not gender related at all, but hoo boy did it feel good
6. changed all the records at the college I was going to
7. started the process of changing my name legally
8. found a good therapist
9. finished legally changing my name
10. new social security card with new name!
11. new driver's license with new name
12. went back to dmv and pointed out that they put the wrong gender on my license so I could get a new one
left to do:
13. start t
14. top surgery
15. hysto

[Dominic]

Have-Done list:
1. Began making a concious attempt to appear more masculine (shorter hair, baggy shirts, etc)
2. Read a little bit about gender identities
3. Began researching a little bit more about FtMs and the transistion process
4. Figured out I was trans (it took a ridiculously long time to get to this one)
5. Got a binder
6. Picked out which therapist to go to once I get a job and can afford therapy

To-Do list:
1. Buy a STP packer
2. Tell the professors at college to use preferred name
3. Get enough money to go into therapy
4. Come out of the closet to family
5. NOT get disowned.
6. Go on T
7. Change all the paperwork to the correct names and sex
8. Save up a s***load of money
9. Top surgery!
10. Lower surgery - maybe.

[Mister]

12. went back to dmv and pointed out that they put the wrong gender on my license so I could get a new one

Committing fraud?  Awesome.  Bragging about it on the internet?  Priceless.

[Quicksand]

  Oh goodness, it seems I've crossed you already...my intention wasn't to use it for anything other than my own peace of mind, but in any case, my apologies, and to anyone from the dmv if you ever stumble across this: sorry!

[Mister]

Cross me?  Nope.  It's not my ass on the line when the DMV double checks their paperwork. 

[myles]

Quicksand- When I got my new licence (last week) all they did was look at my letter from my therapist and give it back so they have nothing in their files as proof I had the letter. I waited and changed my name and gender on my license all at once so I didn't have to deal with DMV twice.
I didn't move much on the transitioning front for 2 years then started "running".
In the last 4 months have
started T after seeing a gender therapist
scheduled top surgery, see ticker below
changed my name on my DL and with SS hoping to hit everyone else up next week
will change BC and Passport after surgery
currently present as male full time
as far as bottom surgery and hysto still undecided; will try and get hysto covered by insurance for medical reasons
Cheers,
Myles

[Jay]

Good question!

1- Came out to girlfriend at the time, and close friends
2- Brought Binder
3- Went to doctors
4- Brought STP
5-Started therapy
7- Came out to family + more friends
6- Changed name plus legal markers to male
7-Started hormones
8- Came out at work
9- Top Surgery

Plans -

9-Hysto
10 - Bottom Surgery

Already had male clothing and a male haircut, prior to transition.

Nearly there! w00t!

Jay

[Nathan.]

So far I have...
-Started dressing more masculine, but I've been doing that since I got over my phase of trying to be 'normal'
-Cut my hair short
-Came out to my mum and family not my dad though =/
-Made an STP out of a medicine spoon

To do...
-Buy a binder and packer.
-Turn packer into STP
-Go to doctors
-Change my name
-See gender therapist
-Start T
-Top Surgery
-Hysto
-Bottom Surgery

I have a long way to go.

[michael]

Oh goodness, it seems I've crossed you already...my intention wasn't to use it for anything other than my own peace of mind, but in any case, my apologies, and to anyone from the dmv if you ever stumble across this: sorry!

leslie feinberg did it, and put it in a book. 

[Luc]

Huh, I got in on this one a tad late.

Let's see... at 18, realized I was trans. Did absolutely nothing about it for almost 6 years subsequent, due to fears about people's reactions, etc. At 23, came out to one friend, who said I must be insane and should get into therapy at once to reinforce my gender (this was a fairly open-minded guy who was fine with my being supposedly a lesbian, but not with my being a man). Went crazy, dated some even crazier people, and just prior to my 24th birthday, went full-time to everyone but my parents. Had been dressing male and cutting my hair short since age 15 or so, though.

So timeline...
1) Bound with neoprene belt (ouch!), used men's restrooms, grew out what facial hair I had, and presented as fully male except to family.
2) Bought binder and elevator shoes (yes, I'm the moron who thought one had to be tall to be a man). Passed about 95%.
3) Chucked the elevator shoes, got married as a man (but only because the justice of the peace read our names for one another)
4) Stopped passing, despite not doing anything differently. Turned 25, and figured the length on female hormones was taking its toll.
5) Got on T so I could pass again. Within a month, passed flawlessly and haven't gone back since.

Yeah... that's all I've got. I've been on T for roughly a year now, though on and off due to financial strain. Oh yeah, and I guess I came out to my mom somewhere between #2 and #3... she came out to the rest of the family for me when I got married. My transition is sort of on hold for now, due to my impending divorce... ain't life wonderful? But hopefully within the next year or two I'll be having top surgery, and should be having my name changed LEGALLY within the next few months. Didn't have it changed before because in California, you can change your name & gender on your license with a doctor's note.

What was the hardest thing for me? Dealing with people's reactions. Apart from that first guy I came out to, the majority of my friends were totally cool about my being trans, but my family has been anywhere from deplorable to horrendous in their reactions. They still call me by my birth name, and refuse to think that anyone could ever see me as a man. They think I'm an aberration in the eyes of god... you get the picture. But it's worth being able to look at myself in the mirror without wanting to slit the throat of the person I see.

SD