Hi, everyone. Just wanted to say that overall I am feeling a bit better about my transition and the changes I'm seeing. But I'm a little concerned about something. You see, about four months before I started HRT I was put on zoloft, the anti-depressant for situational depression, and to help my OCD. Zoloft did make some changes, such as getting rid of a lot of my paranoia, and decreasing my sex drive dramatically, but I felt kind of like a zombie overall, and I had to sleep constantly. I will say, however, that it cleared my head enough to know that I wanted to transition.
Anyway, I started HRT five months after Zoloft, and within two months, I found that I felt a bit more focused, and strangely enough, my back pain went away almost entirely. That plagued me for a long time. But I had confusing feelings, and I wanted to figure out what was the zoloft, and what was the hormones. So I asked my doctor to wean me off of the zoloft. It's been two weeks now, and these have been the toughest two of my transition. I feel weird, depersonalized, out of body more than ever, and confused and fatigued. I also developed vertigo. To my surprise, I found out that quitting zoloft can have big repercussions on your body and mind, and every one of the things I just listed were symptoms. Is it possible that this is what I'm feeling at the moment? I mean, no doubt there is a lot going on in my head chemistry right now, with new hormones being introduced, and the withdrawal of a medication. I am finding that my sex drive is bouncing back, which is nice, but I'm also getting a little hazier in the head, and my back pain is back. Does that mean hormones were NOT fixing anything like I thought? :/ Either way, I feel like I have to continue the weaning off. I don't want to feel as much like a zombie.
My therapist (not my zoloft doctor) said that she finds zoloft can take up to two months to fully get out of your system, and the withdrawal effects go away. Right now, I'm trying to simply believe that much of it is that, and going to try not to worry too much about what it could mean for my trans identity.
