Trans etiquette for non-trans people

[Butterfly]

Trans etiquette for non-trans people
Examiner.com
By Matt Kailey
July 3, 2009


http://www.examiner.com/x-12237-Denver-Transgender-Issues-Examiner~y2009m7d3-Trans-etiquette-for-nontrans-people


Although it is difficult to estimate the number of trans people in Denver and in Colorado, trans people are becoming increasingly visible in our state.

With the many resources and laws that Colorado has in place to support and protect trans people, we are becoming a very trans-friendly state — which means that it is likely that most non-trans people will interact with a trans person at some time or other.

Trans people are really no different from non-trans people in our day-to-day interactions and activities. We sleep, we eat, we shop, we pay taxes, we walk our dogs, rent DVDs, and gripe about politicians. Even so, there are some "rules of etiquette" that can help non-trans people interact with us in the most respectful and supportive of ways

[Miniar]

That's pretty good,..
Common sense, but needed.

[Janet_Girl]

Well..... duh..... would you ask or make mistakes if you did not know?  Ah.....No.  Trans men are men, period.  Transwomen are women.  What part of two plus two equals four is not understood.

Sorry, but do we need to go back and have a Harassment class again?

Janet


_{tekla made me fix it.} 

[LordKAT]

I wonder if it would help to send that to my boss?

[Nero]

5. Don't touch us inappropriately or ask personal questions unless you are invited to do so. Trans people are not public property. Touching something on a person to see if it is "real" or asking personal questions about a person's body or sex life is inappropriate. Don't do or say anything that you would not do or say to anyone else.

'Transpeople are not public property.' I love it!

[Lori]

If we say "Pat," the joke's on you. 

Funny

[Rebecca Liz]

Yes, these should be obvious, but they aren't. And sadly, they aren't obvious even to other trans persons. Having recently undergone BAS and GRS, and being a very attractive and successful transwoman, I am constantly sexually harassed by the other persons in the community.

Just last weekend, a CD friend of mine (and one with whom I am reevaluating our friendship) spent our car trip to SF Pride continually asking if he could touch my breasts, put his head on my breast, see my panties, etc. It was vulgar and unwanted, for sure!! Then, at lunch after the parade, he turned to me and said (quite innocently and thinking he was being funny), "I work with a lesbian, and I was telling her about you and your surgery [GRS]. She asked me to get a picture of your pu$$y, so that she would know what 'one' looks like, so that she can tell the difference and not get tricked by us in the future."

And this, from someone who should know better!! I won't repeat what my response to this was, but let's just say he is very aware not of how rude this comment was, and how hurtful it actually was to me.

[heatherrose]

Sweety,

I am so sorry to hear that you had to suffer that humiliation at the hands of someone
that you've allowed within your comfort zone. It seems, at least I'm finding this to
be true, that there is more support and openness to understanding among the "mundanes"
than from "our own community", either trans-whatever or GLB's.

[tekla]

What part of tow plus two equals four is not understood.
  The spelling part?

Etiquette, is first and foremost, for polite persons.  It's about how you treat people, and in the US, its very much based on democratic notions.  So, you don't treat a trans person any different - in ANY way - from anyone else. If you wouldn't walk up to Michelle Obama and ask to see her panties, you shouldn't ask anyone else either is my guess.  If you would not go up to Dolly Parton and touch her breast or put your head on them (and you know you do, even though she has a guy with her who looks like he could karate chop a Buick in half) then you shouldn't do it to anyone else either.

[Hildy]

Glad this was posted...I used to know a gay guy who always referred to my dear transgender friend Stephanie as "he" and no matter how much I railed him about it, he wouldn't stop.

[Nero]

Yes, these should be obvious, but they aren't. And sadly, they aren't obvious even to other trans persons. Having recently undergone BAS and GRS, and being a very attractive and successful transwoman, I am constantly sexually harassed by the other persons in the community.

Just last weekend, a CD friend of mine (and one with whom I am reevaluating our friendship) spent our car trip to SF Pride continually asking if he could touch my breasts, put his head on my breast, see my panties, etc. It was vulgar and unwanted, for sure!! Then, at lunch after the parade, he turned to me and said (quite innocently and thinking he was being funny), "I work with a lesbian, and I was telling her about you and your surgery [GRS]. She asked me to get a picture of your pu$$y, so that she would know what 'one' looks like, so that she can tell the difference and not get tricked by us in the future."

And this, from someone who should know better!! I won't repeat what my response to this was, but let's just say he is very aware not of how rude this comment was, and how hurtful it actually was to me.

Wow. so sorry to hear you had to endure that. kick that 'friend' to the curb. not only does he sexually harass you in a confined space, he goes around discussing your surgeries with strangers on his lunch break!