If living as a woman means you want to wear the clothes of a woman, I would guess you want to crossdress. Many people do that.
If living as a woman means relating to those around you as a woman, I would guess you want to be a woman.
Or is it that you want to be a woman but not fall into a number of female behavioral styles that women have develped over the years to cope with society's forcing them into a subordinate, powerless position?
Rereading your first post, perhaps you want to retain the male role while having, what is to you, the more attractive look of a woman?
I didn't believe in the male/female binary and for years wanted to be somewhere between - neither and both. As I began moving in that direction, though, I realized I want to be a woman as much as possible - including the body and the relationship to others, even the sexual harrassment if I had to. I want to live as a woman, period. I've met a few people who seem to be able to live in the in-between, but I think it is very difficult and may perhaps turn out to be part of a transition for them.
- Kate
