These children, and especially Jazz, were a great inspiration to me when I finally decided I could do this. They are amazing and on my personal list of heroes.
I had those cursed feelings as far back as age 4, which is pretty much as far back as I can remember anything. In my household then however it was God's way or the highway, literally. Unfortunately "god's way" included serious physical abuse to insure conformity. I can understand that profound sadness; I lived with it my entire life.