voice insecurities

[danni]

hey y'all, danni here again.

i recently started to go out for some fun at night. training to be a nurse can be hectic so it stands to reason that you would want to relax and have some fun, right?

but anyways, i've been practicing my voice techniques and in my humble opinion, they suck -_-

so a thought had crossed my mind... i'm not saying this is a good idea, or a bad one, just a thought. and here it is: be a mute

now that may not work for everyone, but seeing as how little i talk in general it could work for me. i'm fairly sure that only a few close close friends and my mother know that i can actually talk. and as a side note, i've been learning sign language because i never know what to do with my hands.

it this is just a stupid idea, or should i work more into it?

as for voice training. i've been working on it for about 3 years and to me, it just sounds bad.

thanks for your incite and advice

if anyone has questions about me, i'll happily answer them as best i can.

[Nero]

Hi Danni.
Are you serious, hon? That doesn't sound like a very viable solution. It would probably get old really quick. Ask another woman of transsexual history whose voice you like for some tips. I've heard some women with some really good voices, so it is possible. What kind of training have you done so far?

[Janet_Girl]

All you need to do is have confidence that you sound fine.  Be more articulate.  Spread out your words, instead of "You're", use "You are". Instead of "I'm", use "I am". 

Also are you using a recorder of some sort?  It really help.  You should feel female higher voice in your throat, while your male voice will feel lower. Also look on the web for voice training CDs and You Tubes.  Kathy Perez has a fairly good site, and she helped me.  Deep Stealth has CDs also.

You can make it.  Others have, even if it is a little deeper than you like.  Look at Lauren Bacall, Mae West or Bea Arthur.  All had deeper voices.  And some of the sexist voice are a little deeper.


Janet

[danni]

well, i'm only half serious.

and i've been told by my BF that i sounds good. i use recorders and watch videos on how to change my voice for the better.

and on a slightly side note, my BF tells me i sing wonderfully (always in the shower or in the car, the normal places:P) but maybe its in my head that i sound bad

*shrugs*

[Nero]

Have you used Andrea James' videos? I hear she's really good.

[Galantha]

I don't think mute is an option.  You can not talk much, but mute seems a bit extreem. 

-- Galantha

[mmelny]

Hi Danni,

yikes, sounds a bit extreme... cutting yourself off from half the human experience, at least communication wise.

I hear your pain, so to speak, it's a tough thing.  I was told the other night by someone that I had just met, and who wasn't so good with words, "I thought you were a woman until you spoke"... That statement hit on a few different levels, but it was really tough.   And situations like that are a daily occurrence for me.  I already know my voice is my weak point, and my number one focus.   And I fight the tendency to not use it, to just keep quiet, which is easy being an introvert, so I can totally understand your half-joking about becoming a self-imposed mute.

However, the only way to get better is practice, and that has to be live conversation in real world environments (ultimately).  That's the attitude I'm taking anyway, along with drills from Kathy Perez's cd (I do those in the car),  and some things I took away from Voice Therapy classes.   And possibly a CTA in the next few months if things don't start looking better.

Just don't be quiet!!!  That is akin to giving up, and your voice does need to be heard.   

*huggs*,  take care and good luck!,
Melan

[Tammy Hope]

oh don't get me started...i could whine for hours...

First, I have no spare money even for cheap things...so no CD's and no recorders (and I want a recorder SO bad) for me right now

second, I can't practice at the computer where there are vids to help because my wife and kids can here and it interferes with whatever they are doing (plus it kind of puts my wife off some)

I practice on my walks and I think i am doing good in technique but not being able to hear recordings or get feedback I don't know...

I do try to use a more fem voice when talking to people I don't know BUT - and this is my BIG complaint - I keep forgetting!

Every chance to talk to a cashier or whatever is a chance to practice and over and over I completely forget...and at home it's worst of all because I not only could be but i need to be gradually accomedating my family to a different voice but at home I find myself dropping into my deepest voice a lot of times - and i HATE it!

Also, I have no clue how to deal with coughing and sneezing and throat-clearing...

On top of all that, I'm having difficulty picking up on broader speech pattern differences. Some things are easy, but I have the feeling I'm missing something broader and more important (as Janet mentioned in another thread recently about speech patterns)

so yeah, I do find that a lot of times I feel better about my presentation if I don't speak at all.

Of course, my goal is to be fairly credible in my presentation by late next spring....so I'm worrying too much I guess.

[heatherrose]

I had a baratone voice but I practiced, practiced, practiced into a digital voice recorder.
When I would wake in the morning the first thing I would do is say, "Good morning Heather,
you're going to have a great day today." in as high a pitched voice I could muster without
going into a falseto. Then throughout the day I would practice breathing my words
while speaking into the recorder. The play back really helped me find my new voice
by hearing what worked. I never get clocked because of my voice anymore.

Before transition, I sang (very well) at Kareoke, one time at my best friend's wedding
(as his best man) when I sang the toast to the Bride and Groom and I made a CD
(no pun intended) which my friends "fought" over. At the start of my transition I was
worried that I would never be able to sing in public again but I practiced singing in the
same way I did for speaking. Now I'm told that I sound like Janis Joplin and I tend to agree.

Of course, my goal is to be fairly credible in my presentation
by late next spring....so I'm worrying too much I guess.

Baby steps, Gurfren! Don't take so much upon yourself at one time. I think without
a recorder, singing helps tremendously, whether you are any good at it or not.
Women have a melodious speech pattern. While your out walking by yourself,
sing in as high a pitch as you can without breaking into a falsetto.   

[Tammy Hope]

Baby steps, Gurfren! Don't take so much upon yourself at one time.

I KNOOOOW! But I so want to RUUUUN!
*sigh*

I think without
a recorder, singing helps tremendously, whether you are any good at it or not.
Women have a melodious speech pattern. While your out walking by yourself,
sing in as high a pitch as you can without breaking into a falsetto.

Actually that's exactly what I've been doing. I also try to concentrate on songs by women who's vocal range I can kind of simulate in order to find a kind of familiar place that "sounds right"

I never realized how few option there were in that category until I started trying to remember them though.

Been a lot of Tanya Tucker and Debbie Harry and Chrissy Hynde mostly.

[tekla]

Tanya Tucker and Debbie Harry and Chrissy Hynde

They are all good examples of women singing in a lower range.

[Galantha]

<thread ressurection>

I was looking into voice exercises, and it seems that singing along with an artist is highly recommended.

Laura referanced the following artists:
Tanya Tucker
Debbie Harry
Chrissy Hyde

I also was able to research up:
Cher
Pink
Natasha Bedingfield

I was hoping someone else would have more suggestions.

Thanks,
Galantha

[heatherrose]

Marlina Dietrich, Annie Lenix, Heather Alexander, Patsy Cline,
Vicky Lawrance, Melissa Ethridge, Tracy Chapman...

[Galantha]

Thank you Heather

[heatherrose]

No troubles, Doll. As I think of more, I will post them.



kt tunstall - black horse and the cherry tree (live)

[Ms Bev]

Danni!........God, what a drastically desperate choice to make.  Don't do it, it's totally unnecessary.  The scariest thing every mtf does is speak in her new voice in public.  There are some good self help resources available if you can't see a therapist or a coach for your voice.
Kathe Perez has a short course on CD's that I found very good.  You have to stick with it, and practice, practice, practice.  Now that you're mtf, it's not like starting to play an instrument, because if you lay down your banjo or whatever.....no great loss.  But if you are forever afraid to speak.........well, you just can't let that happen. 
So.........try the Kathe Perez Cd's, the first 2.  Make yourself do it.
Yah, I had a good baritone singing voice, and now I'm an alto.  Practice, girl.  Practice in private for as long as it takes, but do....practice.  If you can't afford a recorder, use your cell phone.  Whatever.

Luck!

Bev

[Paulina]

Cher has a deep voice

I try to sound woman but I sound like an old creepy grandma (that smokes)! It's freaky.

It's passable until my voice breaks, but I hate my female voice.