I was hit with the monthly torture this morning. Spent the whole night tossing and turning and knowing something was wrong. I have a history of anxiety and it surfaces at this time of the month; I was terrified when I woke up between dreams, and even more so when I discovered that I was bleeding. Ugh. Panic ensues, and I decide I am going to hole up in my bedroom until I feel human.
Luckily, I can see a psychiatrist to talk about T this year, but it's probably going to be early next year before anything happens. I finally got an exception to the rule (only over 18 can see this psychiatrist) because I expressed that a year growing more and more feminine was too much for me to bear.
Hang in there, everyone. As hard as it is. At least we won't have to live our whole lives with this. I've spent more time with the monthly torture so far than I will by the time I start T, so I figure... I should be grateful.