My first time being sir'd, times two (and a half)! ;D

[GamerJames]

Holy flarking snurt... I can't believe I was sir'd twice today, and then later given a dirty look in the women's room... Huh-whaaaa?? 

I didn't think that would be happening to me for a looooong time yet.

So, the first one, I was in the gas station paying for fuel and picking up slushies for my kids who were waiting in the car. I walked up to the till, and the woman was changing the tape in the register. She looked up, made quick eye contact and said "Be right with you, sir". I replied "No prob, take your time" and she did a double-take, with wide eyes and said "oh, I'm so sorry, ma'am!". I had a huge smile on my face as I said "oh, no worries" and she must've thought I was insane (I just couldn't help but smile, I really couldn't). lol

Then I took my kids to the local yearly exhibition/fair, and in one of the kiddie activity tents, the lady who was working there said to my youngest "your dad can help you read that sweetie".   I *especially* thought that my kids (and how I am around them) would've made people see me as a chick for sure.

Later when I took the kids (both girls) into the ladies' room, a couple of women gave me that shocked "what are you doing in here!" look and then after further scrutiny either decided that I must be a girl, or that since they were leaving anyhow they didn't care. 

So anyhow, not big news to any of you, I'm sure, but this was a ginormous event for me. Not one, but two (three if you count the bathroom) instances of people seeing me as a guy instead of what this damn biology has always made everyone see me as.

And I couldn't be happier.

[Osiris]

hey this is big news for us. Rock on dude! Isn't it funny that just when you're sure you're not going to pass that's when you start passing.

[sneakersjay]

It's a high, isn't it?


Jay

[J.T.]

no dude, we definitely understand.  The first couple of times are definitely a BIG deal.  Congrats.

[Nero]

Totally unfair! I'm on T and had top surgery and still this hasn't happened! In fact, the only time I've ever passed is from far away, 'Yes, officer, the perps were two men in hoodies' kind of thing. *pout*
I'm happy for you though. Must feel good.

[J.T.]

you'll get there too man.

[Nero]

Thanks. I hope so!

[GamerJames]

Thanks everyone, I'm glad you all understand how it's such a big thing for me. I worry that my "baby steps" will seem "so last year" (or whenever) to each of you that have been there already. But I guess you can still relate even if you're past that stage. I've heard that some trans communities aren't so accepting of the newbies' small triumphs, but again you guys have proved that this place isn't "too good to be true" it's just plain ol' good.

Totally unfair! I'm on T and had top surgery and still this hasn't happened! In fact, the only time I've ever passed is from far away, 'Yes, officer, the perps were two men in hoodies' kind of thing. *pout*
I'm happy for you though. Must feel good.

Awww, you're one of the last people I'd want to make pout, Nero... It is totally unfair, passing should be based on time in, energy expended, sacrifices made, etc. But then again, there's not a whole lot about life that's fair, and as I'm learning day by day, even less about being trans that's fair. Just ask me how I feel about having my redneck ex-husband in my life for the next 14 or more years due to our kids, and KNOWING that he is going to use my gender identity against me with my own daughters, whenever I eventually do come out to him and them... Ugh

That being said though, if it makes you feel any better, neither of the women who sir'd me seemed like the brightest bulbs in the chandelier, and I can pretty much guarantee you that no bio-male will be sir'ing me anytime soon. Some straight bio-chicks see anyone who's not overtly feminine and their brain can't mesh that with their expectation of what classifies as a woman, so they lump any anomalies into the "little boy" category. In this case, they accidentally got it right in a sense, but oftentimes I'm sure they throw cisgender people in there too. Trust me, I'm no swaggering John Wayne... Most of my friends think I'm closer to the middle of the male/female scale in fact, they just can't see me as a guy... Ugh, there goes my insecurities again, don't mind me. Sigh.

Besides, I'm probably more jealous of your being on T and having had your top surgery than you could be of my getting sir'd. I don't even know when I'll be able to start the medical side of transitioning, and I wish I didn't have so many roadblocks in my way. So you're the lucky one, by far.

[Nero]

aww just teasing, Braedon. Some of us just have a longer way to go than others. my face is still feminine and although my voice is deeper, it's still in the feminine range. but I'll get there. you passing pre-T guys make me sick though! 

[GamerJames]

aww just teasing, Braedon. Some of us just have a longer way to go than others. my face is still feminine and although my voice is deeper, it's still in the feminine range. but I'll get there. you passing pre-T guys make me sick though! 

My face is very feminine, especially when I smile (which is why my profile pics always look "surly" lol). If I walk around looking grumpy all the time, maybe I'd be more ambiguous, but I still think the only reason those two women read me as male was because of the hair. I'm in Alberta (rodeo country, redneck central, and the "bible belt" of Canada), and there aren't too many women here with hair like mine. And my voice is *decidedly* feminine. 

I really chalk this up to some weird wormhole in the fabric of the universe yesterday, not on my actual passability. If two people out of the thousands I saw yesterday (remember a large portion of my day was at the expo) read me as male, that's still a really low percentage. lol

Wanna feel better? Here's a really femme-looking pic of me from just a few months ago (January I think?):



See? Uphill battle ahead of me. And if you're still unsure, I can pull out a pic of me "in drag" as a maid of honour at my friend's wedding... including a dress, jewellery, professionally done hair (they "poufed" it into a bush on top of my head...), and MAKE UP. Ugh... Shameful what we'll do for our friends, eh?

EDIT: This pic's even girlier, and it's from last month at Pride.

[Jamie-o]

Congrats on the pass.  The only time I pass is in Chinese restaurants.  I've been going out for Chinese a lot lately ...    Actually, I'm at that annoying in-between stage.  I get a lot of, "Er ... This person is looking for ..."

[GamerJames]

Congrats on the pass.  The only time I pass is in Chinese restaurants.  I've been going out for Chinese a lot lately ...    Actually, I'm at that annoying in-between stage.  I get a lot of, "Er ... This person is looking for ..."

It's funny because I thought I may've almost passed a few days before this one, I walked into the liquor store with my gf (who is androgyne/genderqueer - and frustratingly passes for male a LOT...) and the lady behind the counter said "hey people I'm gonna need to see some ID" (before we even got to the till, which was weird in my opinion). I thought that because she said "people" and because she thought I was underage (I'm 30) that maybe I was in that in-between stage, but when my gf and I paused and looked at each other (thinking "that was weird, they usually only ID you when you actually try to buy") just before we turned to head over her way, and she was like "come on girls, ID please"... So it wasn't a near-pass after all. lol

[Silver]

That's great. Congrats on passing well.

SilverFang