small steps

[CodyJess]

I hope this isn't too petty of a thing to start a topic over, but I spent my entire day rather elated (and deep in thought) over two (albiet small) occurrences.

First thing thismorning, at work, a customer 'mistook' me for a male. I think her exact words were "maybe that young boy over there can help me?" in reference to some heavy objects she needed help to her car with. It isn't so much the fact that I 'passed' that makes me excited here (she was so old that honestly, I think any girl with short hair would have 'passed' to her at first glance) it's that being taken as a male, even a young boy, made me feel surprisingly good. I'm still happy about this one.

(Alright, so part of that is my intense frustration at having people balk when they ask for help getting +50lb objects out to their cars, and I'm the one that does that sort of thing. You wouldn't believe how many people immediately about-turn and load their own stuff when they realize it's a -girl- who's going to load it. Ugh. or worse, ask me to go find a man to do it.  )

The other was at the drive-thru at a fast food place. It was after work, I wasn't even wearing a binder at that point. A simple "here you go sir" when being handed the food.

I honestly can't say I'm trying to pass. At this point, I'm still trying to figure out what I'm looking for in myself; it just so happens that expressing myself, and being taken as a male for it, just feels so *right*.

How did you guys feel the first time you 'passed' (for those of you who are trying to or have)?

[Calistine]

Hahaha I hadnt even come out at the time so when I was called sir I yelled at the guy pretending I was offended but I was actually very happy.

[Randy]

Yeah, I've heard that one before. One time at bandcamp... (no really  ) we were loading some boxes into somebody's car, I think, and when I offered to help I was refused, even though they took the help of the next bioguy that walked by.

I've passed unintentionally my whole life, which made my childhood very awkward... But when I first started trying to pass having fully realized my trans identity, I had mixed feelings about it. On the one hand it made me feel really good, but there was always the fear (even if it was just a 2 second interaction) that they would realize that I wasn't yet outwardly male, or someone would "correct" them. I did get a few sir ma'am sirs for a while...

I pass 100% now, but I still notice every pronoun. It's like even so far in, I still expect to hear she. It's still a pleasant surprise to be consistently greeted with buddy, man, sir, he, dude, etc.

[xxaussiexx]

I pass 100% now, but I still notice every pronoun. It's like even so far in, I still expect to hear she. It's still a pleasant surprise to be consistently greeted with buddy, man, sir, he, dude, etc.

Thats so true.  Every pronoun u pick up on.  U just wait how the other person is going to address.  I hold my breath everytime.  THe first time i passed i was waiting to use the female bathroom, (hadnt rly change my apperance) but where i was lining up was just outside the mens room.  This guy walked up and must of thought that there was a line at the mens so he started to stand behind me.  I let him *jump the queue* and he was extremely grateful   I wasnt even trying to pass at that time.  Then when i got into the females i got shocked looks and ladies did seem a bit startled but i did what i had to do and quickly left.  Twas a good feeling!

It isn't so much the fact that I 'passed' that makes me excited here (she was so old that honestly, I think any girl with short hair would have 'passed' to her at first glance) it's that being taken as a male, even a young boy, made me feel surprisingly good. I'm still happy about this one.

It is a great feeling when u've passed even when u're not trying to.  Something as little as that can make your day!

[Jeatyn]

The first time I passed was in a piercing place, the woman behind the counter kept using female pronouns and the piercer kept using male pronouns.

They both kept looking at each other like the other one was insane and it was quite obviously awkward. I thought it was hilarious and can only imagine the conversation after I left.

"why did you keep calling that boy a she?"

"why did YOU keep calling that girl a he?"

This happens all the time now, I'm right on the border of girlish looking boy or boyish looking girl