Chrissty, this one is for you... or rather because of you.
Chrissty had made a comment that I really need to change my name once I hit 15 posts (4 more to go), that "StuckInHere" just won't cut it. I think she's right. Stuck was just what I was feeling at the time, actually felt for a long time.
I think if I'm going to go forward - not that anyone could hold me back at this point - then I will need to explore who I am to be. But a name, what name, out of the millions of names in the world and the countless others that haven't even been thought of yet, how do I choose one that fits?
One of the first names that comes to my mind and seems pretty special to me is Deanna. I had a very, very dear friend, perhaps the best friend I have ever had in my life, who's name was Deanna. I firmly believed that she was my soul-mate, we had this incredible connection to each other. She is the one person I have ever known who I could sense her feelings, her joys, her sadness, her frustrations when we weren't even together. We lived more than 50 miles apart and I would know, intuitively, when she was experiencing some strong emotion and knew what she was feeling and if I needed to worry about her.
Sadly, I made the mistake of asking her out, told her I wanted to be more than friends. A week later, she was living 2500 miles away, no forwarding address, no phone, no contact with mutual friends, no explanation, no good bye. If this was an isolated incident, I would just chock it up to she had already planned it and just couldn't bear to tell me. But, it wasn't isolated, it was just another version of a common scenario in my life. At least 5 other women that I had befriended and asked out over the years had packed their bags and out-of-the-blue moved away - no forwarding addresses, no phones, no contact with friends. I have gotten to the point where I had been feeling like some kind of freak, or leper or something horrible.
Okay, that was weird, a little TMI. This was supposed to be a happy post about moving forward and rejoicing in finally being myself. I am still drawn to Deanna. It's a beautiful name and it reminds me of the most beautiful, intelligent, sensitive (mostly), and seductive women I have ever known in my life. And it is also not too far off from my given name, Damon.
I am also very much open to options and opinions and suggestions and criticisms. I know without a picture it would be hard to picture me as a certain name. I will get one up soon. I should reach my 15 posts, or 50,000 words

in a day or so. I will also have to take a photo that somewhat resembles me (probably male mode for now).
Talk amongst yourselves and thank you for all of the warm welcomes these past couple of days. You are all super fantastic, I haven't been this excited/happy in... well I don't know the last time I was this happy.
Hugs all around

D