Homophobic Transpeople?

[Hannah]

That was a most excellent story Alex, I want to be a smart and cute lesbian and romp with psychos! Well, not, but it sounds like fun in the story. More lesbian bar tales please! 

[Alex_C]

That is super cool.

I have seen bio-female lesbians in the same circumstances treated well if they are cute.....

[Alyssa M.]

Shall I catalogue the many idiocies of relationships among straight people I have observed over the years? The women fawning over some creepy guy with greasy hair and a couple of moves on a dance floor? The completely clueless insensitivity to any emotional needs that guys so often express toward their girlfriends? And many worse ...

No, you all know the stereotypes. And of course, there are stereotypes that apply to gay men and lesbians as well. The thing is, if you happen to be involved in whichever scene, you actually get something from the relationships buried under all that apparent external drama. If you're not, you are like Screwtape trying to figure out the value added in this bizarre "love" scheme. I ended up in the lesbian category, and it works pretty darn well for me, thankyouverymuch.

There is one thing in particular that leads to the transphobic gay people and the straight homophobic trans people: that the very existence of the other group undermines the group's legitimacy. Gay guys suffer and straight trans women tend to be conflated in the popular understanding (with plenty of help from campy floats at pride parades featuring drag queens), mostly because of the inability of society as a whole (and occasionally gay and trans people) to understand the difference between sex, gender, and sexuality.

But just because part of the oppression that one experiences consists of being seen as "one of them," it doesn't make it okay to discriminate against "them."

[Alex_C]

Oh believe me I've seen, and heard even more, of the dysfunctional stuff straight ppl do!

It's one of my points that the drama IS because those doing it get something out of it. I don't, I hate it, I like girls but I just don't like drama. Heh can I be the creepy (by which is probably meant working-class) guy with a greasy motorcycle and a couple of moves on the dance floor? Just as long as I'm not required to have greasy *hair* lol.

It's good to hear the lesbian thing works for you, my hat's off to anyone it works for.

And nothing nothing nothing (I said it once but apparently it didn't sink in) justifies discriminating against someone just because they are of the "other" group. That should be elementary but maybe it's not to everyone. My posts have been both sharing my experiences and also explaining how in an individual without a strong sense of sportsmanship, alienation could result in discrimination.

[V M]

That is super cool.

I have seen bio-female lesbians in the same circumstances treated well if they are cute.....

I'm not sure how cute I am, But I was def. treated well 

[Alex_C]

I typed a big longish bar story for you Becca and since like most computer stuff nowadays the site is pertially broken, I could not post it. Or save it etc.

[Hannah]

Except for the being girls thing, lesbians sound pretty fun. To be terribly honest I haven't really known all that many, but I have been tempted recently to give them a shake basically because theyr'e the only people who will have me. Maybe if I could find a big strong one. The thing is, I don't drink or smoke or really do anything fun, so the bar scene is really kind of out for me.

I don't like the word dysfunctional, because psychologically speaking nobody is fully functional. Words like that tend to make us feel bad about being the humans we are.

[Chamillion]

This type of stuff really just doesn't make sense to me.  I have known gay and lesbian people who are against bisexuals or transgendered people.  I don't know many transpeople but the fact that there are some who are homophobic does not even surprise me.

I used to love everyone in the GLBT community unless they gave me a reason to not like them, simply because I could relate to some of what they've gone through.  But there's so much hatred within the community that I really don't care about it anymore.  People who belong to the GLBT a lot of the time think they can say whatever the hell they want because they must be "open-minded" since they're "different", and I just don't believe in that.  And it's not just one group against the other, there are a lot of trans people who are just unsupportive of other transpeople, because maybe that person doesn't "pass" as well, or lives somewhere where they're unable to get hormones.  It's messed up.  I'm getting kind of off topic now... but yeah.  Not surprising to me at all.
Post Merge: September 03, 2009, 02:48:56 AM

I also think that, from my experience, gay people are more open minded all together, so they will probably be more accepting of TGs. They may not like us in their bars, but they won't kick us out, either.

I respectfully disagree with this.  Gay people are more open-minded when it comes to sexuality, and that's about it.  I have met way more gay people who are very quick to judge someone by their appearance, or judge someone because they act differently than they do.  A lot of people I've met within the GLBT have been extreme narcissists and aren't willing to accept people who have a different outlook/experience than them.  As a whole, my straight friends are much more open-minded in general, and also with accepting my transition.

*Of course, this is only my experience.  I'm not say either of us are right or wrong

[Icephoenyx]

Chamillion, that's interesting. I guess it's a matter of experience. It also really depends on the person/people you are dealing with. Overall, I think its all insecurity and/or lack of knowledge, whether they are gay, straight, trans, etc.

I really don't like the 'GLBT' umbrella term, there are too many animosities between people and too many exceptions that it just doesn't work.

As a straight MtF who is pre-transition, it is hard to fit in anywhere, really. I'm a gay guy to most, a poser ->-bleeped-<- to others, and it can be tough, knowing that you are something you can't readily express. I used to love going to gay bars, I felt like that was the only place where I could belong, but those places really don't do anything for me. I've never had a negative experience with the gay community, but I don't feel like they are my best friends either.

[tekla]

I quickly find out she's a career alcoholic who's lost her driver's license and may be heading to jail, and is an utter psycho.

That girl is at every bar, in every town, at all times.  I know, I've met every single one.

Loving crazy is great, until crazy loves you back.