Can you transition without it taking over your life?

[Natasha]

Can you transition without it taking over your life?

ask those who have had grs & ffs & still talk about "passing".  tsk tsk tsk

[FairyGirl]

It shouldn't become something that permanently defines who we are; it is a temporary condition as we move from one life to another. For me it has taken highest priority simply because of all the arrangements, preparations, and required activities to do it successfully. I am finding however that since living full time, the actual transitioning part is becoming less important than simply getting through it and getting on with my life as a woman. I'm weary of having my whole life upside-down because of it.

One interesting aspect I have noticed was also brought up here- I am currently in Australia where no one other than my SO and immediate family know me as anything other than just another woman in the crowd. I plan to move here from the States for at least a while after my GRS next year. One of the first things that came to mind about blending in here was "what if you transitioned and nobody noticed or cared?" So, a taste of life to come I suppose, but honestly it will be very nice to get this whole transition thing behind me and I'm actually looking forward very much to having my life right-side-up again as well as right-side-out. Probably not much difference than being in America as far as transitioning is concerned, but there is a great psychological boost that comes from literally starting a new life as my true self in a completely foreign environment that helps me to really and truly see that I am leaving my old life behind once and for all.

[sneakersjay]

Transition took over my life for one year.  Now I'm pretty much back to my regularly scheduled life.


Jay

[DawnL]

Transition totally dominated my life for one year and I thought of nothing else.  Now it's just another chapter in my life and one I rarely talk about.  I suppose some people can manage an 'orderly' transition but not me.  Given that it affects every corner of your life (in most cases), how can it not dominate your life?  One reason in my mind for getting it behind me as quickly as possible.

[Chloe]

Geez All that thinking things through gave me a headache

-={LR}=-

Statistically it's be very difficult for ALL to go whacked out crazy happy the same way without somebody noticing, it only would take one person to spoil all the fun (as always) whereas existentially, in point of fact, the exact reverse probability, the precise opposite is much more highly likely that, in practice, who'd really give a rats a$$, give a hoot and even take the slightest notice of that one person when we're all otherwise having so much fun anyway in what amounts to our own total sense of unreality (based a faulty, skewed value judgement perceptions in the first place)?

lol are we following the logic of this? Hello [knock knock] . . . anybody even in there or care? lol

Which is more real, to us, the fact or the perception?

[tekla]

Does not any major change or effort basically take over your life?  Med school, grad school, law school, military basic training - all would have that effect. Even college if you do it right will take over your life.  They key is to see past it, knowing it will end, and having a plan for what you do then, so that you don't wind up being in transition forever, or be five years out of college still hanging at the campus bars like you were still in school.

[shanetastic]

The thing about school is it doesn't take over your mind though haha.

I think I'm doing college correctly I have a decent gpa and stuff, but I think gender issues just get in your miinndddd!!!  Then they make you obsess over it because you can't shut off your mind!! Well, unless you pass away of course.

And good comparison tekla haha.  I laughed when I read the hanging out at campus bars part, because you see those people all the time who just never get over the hurdle and just transcend into the "real world"

And I think it's difficult to look at it as their is an end to it.  Such like school, when you first start college it seems like something you're going to be doing for the rest of your life.  That's how transition feels and although it's not true of course, that doesn't mean it can't feel like such.  Even with one more year until my BA I still think that college is going to last forever :p  Of course, it probably will because I want to move on to grad school and stuff.

[Myself]

What? I am wondering how you can have a life without going through this if you really feel that's what you need to do.

[Sandy]

Laura:

You certainly do not have to defend yourself to us about your decisions!  You are taking the path that is right for you.  And you seem to have come to terms with the conditions in your life.  Many don't have the strength of will to do even that.

And there is no one who gets to sit in judgement of another's anguish.  For anyone to make that type of statement is condescending and cruel.

Please know that we are with you in your journey and wish you all the best.

-Sandy

[Chrissty]

I think this may have been said in a different way earlier...

....even when we are trying not to transition..

....it still taking over our lives....

Transition is so much more than a physical change.

*hugs*

Chrissty

[gothique11]

I'm my experience and what I've seen from other people is that it tend to become a big part of your life -- as do many changes. I think it's normal and to be expected.

Now it's not the main thing in my life and I don't talk about it a whole lot or think about it a whole lot. Which is normal as well.

[Silver]

Well, I'm not in transition now, but I can say that it is ruling over my life right now. Everything I plan is around it, and getting ready. For a change this large I'd say that anything less than full commitment and absorption into yourself while going through it could be with consequences. Unfortunately I cannot think of anything we could compare this too....as there is nothing in life that requires quite this much of our attention and work on. It changes so many things so to adapt we kind of have to be absorbed into doing it. (sorry if this sounds kinda all over the place I am rather tired lol)

Got an example. . . like migrating into a country for whatever reason, in which you do not know the language.

SilverFang

[K8]

Transitioning took over my life for a while - the excitement of coming out to myself and to others, changing my name, clearing my face of hair, shopping for a whole new wardrobe, watching people's reactions to me in my new quise, doctor and counselor appointments, etc. 

Now things are settling down.  I don't think much about how to be Kate anymore but most of the time just am Kate.

Taking care of my spouse while she was dying and required constant care really took over my life.  Transitioning is more like starting university - fun, exciting, opening doors to a new life.

As Sandy pointed out, at some point we need to start living our new life.  What will we do with this wonderful life we have been given?  Like aging military veterans, will we gather togethher for drinks and talk about those exciting days of transition?  Or will we get on with our lives?

Starting to get on with her life,
Kate

[Alex_C]

Things taking over my life"

Transitioning
Making a new financial life out of the rubble of the last one
Becoming an EMT (paramedic is the ultimate goal)
Keeping things runnning around here (5 acres of barely controlled chaos)

[tekla]

Like aging military veterans, will we gather togethher for drinks and talk about those exciting days of transition?  Or will we get on with our lives?

Oh I don't know why you can't do a bit of both.  Granted it would be silly, or it is silly, to live your life for those gatherings of old buddies, but then again, once in a while, its not so bad, after all, they are the only ones who really know what you went through, and what you went through was very unique and not well understood by civilians (the military, particularly combat, but it also works for things like transition, grad school, and show biz - I know that there are stories I love to tell that I would only tell to someone else who has done what I have, other people wouldn't get it, or they would understand it wrong.).  But what's that?  A few hours every third week or so?  That's a lot of time to fill in, in between.