Going through old things

[Valerie Elizabeth]

A couple weekends ago, I went to my parents house.  They have been asking me to go through my old stuff for a couple years now, and this summer I have the free time.

I was going through my stuff, and finally made it to my closet, which had most of the clothes I used to wear.  Some stuff was only a couple years old.  It was one of the weirdest experiences of my life.  It felt like going through someone else's stuff.  I remember distinctly feeling like I was going through a dead siblings things.  Really creepy.  I never really felt this way when I was at my apartment.  Although, now that I think about it, I really didn't have that many outfits.  I knew a couple years ago that I was going to transition, and didn't buy many articles of clothing.  Only what I needed.

Anyway, I donated 7 bags of clothing (from my parents house) to the salvation army.


Did anyone else have this sort of experience when going through their clothes when they transitioned?

[FairyGirl]

I was only 3 months or so into the actual decision to transition, and pre-HRT, when my house burned down with everything I owned in it last December, including all my clothing. Luckily I was out of town at the time but had only the clothes in my suitcase left, which then included a couple skirts and other girly things as well. I just took the opportunity to start over from scratch and didn't buy any more boy clothes after that, and in fact left the the old boy clothes in the suitcase which I have since given away to friends. After a few months when I opened that old suitcase it was totally like all that stuff had belonged to a different person, another house, and another life that didn't exist anymore.

[Shana]

I had a similar experience.

When I first started exploring RLE I was already buying as much of my wardrobe in the woman's section as I could get away with without being to obvious at work, so when I actually went full time most of my things were already "mine". I had however put a few things away in boxes thinking.. "Well, if I ever do change my mind".  When I moved about eight years ago I came across the boxes.. like you both describe.. it was like going through my dead twin's things.. so many memories, yet disconnected somehow.  I recently was going through our extra closet and came across my dad's old tie.. He passed away in 2003.. It just dawned on me writing this that the feeling was exactly the same. wow..
I guess it is true then.. we do have to kill the old mask of our selves in a way and let it go to truly embrace who we have always been.

[Sandy]

I experienced something similar.  It can be an unexpected emotional experience.

Here's my blog entry:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,13798.0.html

-Sandy

[Shana]

Thank you so much for that Sandy.    A toast then:

To Barry and Shane.. and all our former shells..
They were real, for we made them real,
and they lived and walked among the world.
They are missed and cherished,
but they must be no more..
Thanks guys.. for helping us survive..

Cheers

[V M]

Getting rid of my evil twins stuff and handing control over to Virginia is probably the best thing I could have ever done. I did keep a guitar I like though 

[Shana]

That's the kewl thing.. once they're dead, we can steal their stuff.. And then it's all ours.. "muahhahhahha".. 

[V M]

I also kept a few pairs of BDU pants. There great for gardening 

[Valerie Elizabeth]

I also kept a few pairs of BDU pants. There great for gardening 

I also held on to my BDU's.  That's about the only thing.  Couple of old shirts that I treasure, but that's about it.

I was in the Army ROTC for a year and a half, but got hurt kinda bad during an FTX at West Point.  That kind of ended my career in the Army - which was probably for the best.  I don't think I would have come out had I still been in the ROTC.

[K8]

I got rid of most of what's-his-name's stuff the week I started full time as Katherine.  I kept several flannel shirts and wool shirts and some motorcycling gear, but otherwise got rid of everything.

What was weird, though, is that recently I came across a box of my old cross-dresser clothes.  It was like being visited by a specter from the other side of the veil.   Creepy. 

I liked old what's-his-name well enough but am glad he's gone.  I have much more mixed feelings about that troubled cross-dresser who used to live here.

- Kate

[BubbleTea]

i still have not transitioned but i do wear girl jeans and tight shirts. i seem to pull them off fine xD
but before i wore girl clothes i had boy clothes that my mom would buy for me. i left them hanging in the closet for years and everytime i would look at them i felt like they were somebody else's.
i didnt like the feeling so i gave them away to my nephew.

[Teknoir]

My female stuff went into a storage box at the start of this year. Not a transitioning step, but a "I'm out of space, what don't I need?". I wasn't out, or had even admitted my status to myself at the time. All I knew is that I didn't have to wear any of that stuff again - and boxing it up and shoving it out of the way made me very happy and relieved.

When I came out a few months later, I looked through my stuff to see what I could put into storage / get rid of (as space was still damn tight!). I didn't have any female stuff left! The packing of "someone elses" stuff turned out to be a total non-event! 

All my female stuff is still out there, almost a year later. There's some interesting pieces like the full gothic lolita outfit from Hong Kong, two perfectly tailored cheongsams and the black pencil skirt with the cut away diagram of an atomic bomb on the side.

I'd rather store the really unusual stuff until I can find someone who wants it rather than throw it out - it's only one box, and it's helping to hold up my workbench.

For a while, part of me was hanging on to the rest of it (jeans, tshirts, etc) just in case I wanted to "go back". I have no idea if that is normal or not

I don't miss womens clothing. It's 100x easier for me to find things I like in the mens area.

Truth be told, I actually forgot about my female stuff still being boxed up in the shed until this thread... 

[K8]

For a while, part of me was hanging on to the rest of it (jeans, tshirts, etc) just in case I wanted to "go back". I have no idea if that is normal or not

You are an uncommon guy, Teknoir , but I think this is very common.

- Kate

[sneakersjay]

When I first came out to myself, one of the first things I did was buy some men's clothing.  Then, I bagged up ALL of my female clothes (as in yes, every last piece, down to socks and underwear - those hit the dumpster) and took it to Goodwill.  I knew I wasn't ever going to want any of it again.  I was right.

Later, I threw out some generic tee shirts I wore while in F mode - brought back ick memories, so I donated those.  Just recently went through my men's clothes and got rid of some stuff I got early in transition - brought back memories of that state of in-between limbo I hated.

Currently progressing to casual dress shirts for work that I can wear a tie with, so ties are on my list of stuff to buy.  I have so much more credibility at work now, esp. with clients, and I think my mode of dress helps.  In reality I'm a tee shirt and/or plaid flannel shirt and jeans kind of guy, with workboots.

Jay

[sd]

When I first came out to myself, one of the first things I did was buy some men's clothing.  Then, I bagged up ALL of my female clothes (as in yes, every last piece, down to socks and underwear - those hit the dumpster) and took it to Goodwill.  I knew I wasn't ever going to want any of it again.  I was right.

This has been my method as well, but t a slower rate.
I bought some panties, and the men's stuff was done, that was it.
The same happened with pants, once I got a few, I got rid of the men's stuff.

And so it goes.

[K8]

Currently progressing to casual dress shirts for work that I can wear a tie with, so ties are on my list of stuff to buy.  I have so much more credibility at work now, esp. with clients, and I think my mode of dress helps.

Slightly off subject, but yes, Jay, how you dress at work makes a big difference.  Dress professionally and you are treated as a professional.   And the opposite works, too.

- Kate

[paulault55]

When i first came out i purged quite a few bags of his clothing, i only kept a suit some pants and shirts in case i had to go to a customer site or to our corporate office, i also kept some unisex t shirts and sweats, the rest went to good will or the trash. I telecommute from home so nobody from work sees me and locally i am completely and out consider myself unofficially full time till i come out at work in a month or so.

Paula

[K8]

I decided to straighten up the basement.  I tend to do magical thinking in that I think perhaps if I straighten the house that my life will get straightened, too.  It's like if I get my house in order literally perhaps I'll get my house in order figuratively.

I was doing pretty well until I looked inside a closet down there.  Six feet of *his* clothes hanging across the closet.  Huh?   Where'd all that come from?  I thought I had gotten rid of all his clothes when I first became Kate.  It was like I'd driven a stake in his heart but didn't get it in far enough.

Nothing for it but to start folding everything for a trip to the resale store.  But it kept getting harder.  Folding the clothes was almost like dressing a body for burial.  I kind of liked the old guy.  I didn't want to kill him off; I just wanted him to move out-of-state and perhaps write me a letter once in a while to let me know he's OK.

When I got to a shirt that I had loved but couldn't use as Kate, I just sat down and started bawling.

D***!   I go sailing along without a care in the world, overjoyed to be Kate and *BAM* I hit a tripwire.

I'm sorry to always post these whining posts, but why is this so hard?  [Rhetorical question.]  Yeah, I'll finish the closet after a glass of wine (and whine).

I guess getting rid of the clothes is hard because I don't want to get rid of the past.  When I was *him* I would cry that I just wanted balance.  Now that I'm Kate – and thrilled – I just want to somehow balance my past with my present. 

It's all about achieving balance.  Thanks for listening.  I'm starting to calm down. 

- Kate

[Steffi]

Hey Kate.....

Yesterday, I got rid of the very last of His things, a new suit that had been bought for a relatives wedding and only worn once.
Funny..... I took all the other stuff to the charity shop a year ago without a blink or hesitation and only retained the suit because I thought it worth selling via a dress-agency. 

But it was the LAST of his things and there was obviously something more going on in the back of my mind because once I got to the shop, actually handing it over wasn't easy and I felt kind of strange afterwards.
It's the last act of "burying Him" ...... I spent a long, long time with him and all our memories are his - it's bound to feel weird    *hug*

[Janet_Girl]

A year ago, when I started RLE, I went through everything.  I kept a couple of tees that I always liked.  And everything else was donated to Goodwill.

I still have pictures I need to go through but they can wait for another day.


Janet