Instead of asking for a "girls" hair cut i'd look thru magazines and find pics of hair styles that you like. If you are worried about outing yourself find pics of males, otherwise use whatever pic you can find, even if it's a girl sporting the style. A hair stylist can easily work from a pic, whereas verbal communication might result in a bad cut since she has to interpret what you are asking for.
Also, a good hair stylist can help steer you toward styles that work best with your facial features and hair texture, and away from styles that don't work well.