Is he dead yet?

[Carolyn]

I hate my father, he has got to be the biggest ass I have ever known in my life, as well as the biggest crybaby and dumb ass. Okay he went to the hospital AGAIN because of a blood colt in his arm AGAIN. He was in there for about a week and then when we are finally able to bring his dumb ass home he smokes a cigarette, right after both the doctor and mom told him not to.

Then about two hours later he gets all pissed off at mom because she got the wrong milk apparently so his dumb ass decides to break the chair in the dinning room, while cussing her out, which in turn makes her cry. Then when I asked him why he broke the chair he said "Cause I could" and me being me said that's not a good enough reason because when I say that it's not a good enough reason, so he gets all pissed at me.

He starts yelling at me and calling me ->-bleeped-<- and queer so I said to him "F*** you ass hole" and went back to my room, which then he called me a "Cock sucking ->-bleeped-<-got" to which I responsed "Why don't you F****** go back to the hospital you G** Damn Piece of S*** where you F****** belong ass hole"

I hate him so much, I want him to hurt, to bleed, to feel the pain he has cause me, my mother and my sister. To make matters worse my little brother looks up to that dick head, and thinks everything he says is right. I hate him, which in turn I hate myself for hating him. I love him to death but I HATE EVERYTHING about him. I will be so crushed when he dies, but damn will I be happy.

[Mister]

He has a bloodclot, he's uncomfortable enough.

and if he's so horrible, you should probably move out.

[V M]

I have a love/hate relationship with most of my family. I love them, and I think they love me. But sometimes they really piss me off. Most of them won't talk to me most of the time. I can only handle being around most of them for about an hour or less. I def. don't think I could live with any of them.

Often when folks don't feel well and are worried about things they lash out.
Try to be the understanding one and defuse the fear and anger

[Hannah]

Wow, he does sound like a winner. This post got me to thinking, and I realised that I have lived as an openly gay person for the last 8+ years, and haven't made any secret of my decision to transition...and I can not remember ever once being called a cock sucking ->-bleeped-<-got. I keep some pretty good company though, and I highly recommend it. Is moving an option for you, because your current situation doesn't sound very healthy at all.

[Dana Lane]

Move out and stop sponging off your parents.

I re-read the original post and couldn't find anything that was said where it shows her to be sponging of his parents. Did I miss something?  I do agree with the moving out part, though.  That is obvious.

[Lutin]

I reckon, telling her to "stop sponging off her parents" is neither nice nor constructively helpful.

However, I, too, would suggest moving out if possible, and if your mum, sister and brother won't be worse off (I don't know if your being there helps defend them or whatever ).

If you can't actually move out, maybe even just keeping to your room a lot. I know when my Mum/Dad and little brother (he's 17) have their moments (not physically violent, but certainly very loud and angry) I just stay in my room with loud classical music on and it helps me keep my sanity. Eventually you sort of end up living in just your room and only leaving for food/toilet break/shower/work, but it means you don't have to move out and you're out of each other's hair enough to avoid too many unpleasant situations.

Don't know if that helps any hun, but I do hope everything gets better soon.

xox Will

[Carolyn]

Um can somebody tell me what the hell "Sponging off" whens? Moving on...

For the past few months I have lived in my room, only leaving it for bathroom/food/bathe/work/computer (once everyone else goes to bed)
I have been trying to find my own place to no luck, and am on the verge of moving in with my boyfriend, however with all this bad blood between myself and the rest of my kin, I highly doubt I will every get along with any of them. None of them actually want to talk about things when they get mad. It's very annoying.

[Alyssa M.]

You're pretty young, then? Sponging off = taking advantage of their generosity without gratitude and without making any attempt to better yourself or achieve independence. Not a very nice thing to do, or accuse anyone of. It sounds like that's not what you are doing.

Verbal abuse of your wife for buying "the wrong kind of milk" is beyond the pale. Calling your kid a "cock sucking ->-bleeped-<-got" is scarcely better, if at all. I don't know the whole situation, but it sounds like your father isn't a big, dumb ass nor a crybaby; at least that doesn't get to the heart of the matter. He's an abusive piece of .... and you should get out as soon as you can.

I wish you well. It sounds like you are dealing with him reasonably well; but just try to ignore his provocations, and focus your energy on getting out.

[Cindy]

Just my 2 cents worth.

He sounds like a violent and maladjusted man who has abused his family for many years. If so it is unlikely to change without major intervention therapy; even then wife "beaters" seldom change. Violence does not have to be physical to be abusive violence. I'm not sure that where you are and if you have domestic violence intervention centres. They probably would not be in a position to help you, but be able to help your Mum and sister.

You obviously care for your mum and sister, your brother is learning that violence to women is both normal but is also succesful male behaviour. He does need to get some sort of counselling. Remember that his "dad" is his role model, what he learns and imprints he will carry on with.

I'm sorry I don't have any answers but only comments. I hope you, mum and sister are being careful of avoiding physical confrontation. Even though he may be ill, and even because of it, he could be extremely physically violent. I hope he doesn't have access to a gun?

Personally I would be trying to get the hell out of that house.

Luv and Hugs

Cindy

[Autumn]

Buy a carton of his favorite brand and give it to him.



I'm a practical lady.

[heatherrose]

Buy a carton of his favorite brand and give it to him.

The worst abuse, isn't always physical.

[Sandy]

The worst abuse, isn't always physical.

It leaves scars that never show, and never heal.

[kalina]

Um can somebody tell me what the hell "Sponging off" whens? Moving on...

For the past few months I have lived in my room, only leaving it for bathroom/food/bathe/work/computer (once everyone else goes to bed)
I have been trying to find my own place to no luck, and am on the verge of moving in with my boyfriend, however with all this bad blood between myself and the rest of my kin, I highly doubt I will every get along with any of them. None of them actually want to talk about things when they get mad. It's very annoying.

Carolyn,

When I had a huge bout with my mother and didn't talk to her for over seven years, they were the happiest, most peaceful years of my life. It wasn't until recently with the birth of my son that she wanted to get back into my life again. I would've been perfectly fine to live the rest of my life without her. Don't be afraid to shed family. They can be your worst enemies.