haterade

[GQjoey]

I might just have a sign saying "HATE ON ME" across my face lately. The old news, with the bar-rat, has pretty much been squashed. I've been down there a couple times, and he's minded his own business, not really worried about it.
But now - I've got someone, whom I've never really considered a friend, but a close acquaintance for sure. This gay dude I work with, and have been "friends" with for the past 2 years. I put it in quotes, cuz he's not the most loyal dude you'll meet. I made the mistake a good year ago now, telling him about me, cuz I figured, in some way he could relate. I regretted it the next day, but really didn't think too much of it.
I work with him, we share a big group of friends. Out of about 8 of us, 4 know about me, including him, the rest don't..I'm really not that close to them.
Well, he's a straight up typical QUEEN. He's extremely selfish, self righteous, greedy, and basically thinks the world revolves around him. I've gotten used to it, along with the rest of the crowd. We both share a friend, whom he's real close to, as am I.
Yesterday after work, him, and 2 other people stopped by on a whim. Him, and another girl, know about me, my other buddy, doesn't. It was hot as ->-bleeped-<- here, and I really wasn't trying to hang out too long. The girl, and my other buddy were ready to leave, and asked the queen if he was. He invited himself to stay..and if it was a weekend I wouldn't of cared. It was about 7 pm, and I just wanted to cut down to my boxers, n do my own thing. I told him he should go with the other 2, he said "Its not like you have anything to do..you wont even realize I'm here". Which, pissed me off, it's my apt, if I ask you to leave, go.
I told him "What if I wanted to watch some porn, n do my own thing" his reply "By all means.." yeah alright. The girl was like "Come on, you coming or what" To which he started bitching, and acting like  BITCH. "yeah I guess, cuz Jay wants to act like a bitch". I let that go, just cuz that's how he is, he always complains. But for the next minute, he went on about how im actin like a bitch, cuz he couldn't chill for 2 hours. I turned around and said "See, you're running your mouth..exactly why I dont want you here..go ahead and leave". He must of felt bad, gives me a hug from behind "you know Im kidding, I love you, you know that", and leaves.

Well the girl that was with us, told me all the ->-bleeped-<- he talked once they left my apt. Talking about what he "wonders what my previous name was?" asking her to guess with him..saying "he's gonna call me out in front of people we work with, who dont know, to get my reaction" then tell people "my mom told him" LMFAO @ that. My MOTHER would never, and I really wasn't even upset about it, til he brought her into the situation.
Being he met her a couple times, and he tried his damnest to be her BFF. WHAT THE ->-bleeped-<-?! is wrong with people, seriously.

So at work today, I held my tongue, EXTREMELY tight, wanting to straight up knock him out. But I need my job - and am not about to lose it over some ->-bleeped-<- like that. Usually ->-bleeped-<- like this, doesn't hurt my feelings, when it comes from someone I dono't know. But I've confided in this fool before, knowing better, and thought I could trust him..which was my mistake.
Just find it pretty ->-bleeped-<-ed up, he out of all people, would come against me over some trival ->-bleeped-<- like that.

[Radar]

And people at work wonder why I'm so private and don't tell anybody personal stuff about anything. I was taught not to mix business with pleasure and don't become too chummy with your co-workers. If they find out things about you they can use it against you at work. Plus, if you drop a friend it's one thing, but if they're a co-worker you still have to see them every weekday.

[myles]

That is too bad. Like you said at this point you need the job and you can't let him go chasing you out of one. Jut sucks that so people are so selfish and disrespectful when they want to be your "friend".
Myles

[Mister]

This story exactly proves the point I try to make to everyone who points to my geographical location and thinks that I should just be out because no one cares.

The second you tell ANYONE, you are no longer just a plain old dude.  You're always going to be seen as something not quite male at best or still a woman at worst.  Your best bet is to get a new job and keep your mouth shut.  If you continue to out yourself, you'll continue to have issues.

[Teknoir]

I concur with Mister.

Even if the person you tell is supportive and trustworthy, they're still going to subconciously think of you differently.

Also - things have a tendancy to "slip out" - even from those with the best of intentions sometimes.

Co-workers, aquaintances, and other randoms? They don't NEED to know. Don't ask, don't tell. Need to relate to someone in a similar situation? That's what support groups and forums are for.

Yeah, the queen is being an ->-bleeped-<- and is in need of a good slap upside the head. You can't control what people will do with information, so never feel obliged to give it so freely.

[LordKAT]

This story exactly proves the point I try to make to everyone who points to my geographical location and thinks that I should just be out because no one cares.

The second you tell ANYONE, you are no longer just a plain old dude.  You're always going to be seen as something not quite male at best or still a woman at worst.  Your best bet is to get a new job and keep your mouth shut.  If you continue to out yourself, you'll continue to have issues.

This is exactly why I want to have my HRT and top surgery before I transfer to another city. It is just not fun having people you work with treat you as female even when they get the pronouns right. It shows whether they think it does or not. I do wish I could get things rolling along a little better/quicker than they are atm.

[GQjoey]

This story exactly proves the point I try to make to everyone who points to my geographical location and thinks that I should just be out because no one cares.

The second you tell ANYONE, you are no longer just a plain old dude.  You're always going to be seen as something not quite male at best or still a woman at worst.  Your best bet is to get a new job and keep your mouth shut.  If you continue to out yourself, you'll continue to have issues.

I agree with you, 100%. Out of the 20+ people I work with, 3 know. One found out through a crazy ex who outed me, another girl I told, and she's one of my closest friends, and then the queen. I'm not one to out myself, and have lived majority of my life, since high school, stealth. I'm not worried about getting a new job, as much ->-bleeped-<- as he talks, he knows he'd be the one looking like a fool if he ever spilled the beans. Which I doubt he'd really do, he's just a hater.

[Alex_C]

Dang. Sounds like a lot of drama.

I"m kinda hoping I can do a sort of "these are not the droids you are looking for" thing with people who used to know me as a gal, but who knows?

But stay away from the queens, two of my best friends right now are a gay couple, a bear and a "broody punk" and they've been giving me a ton of advice and insight into being a guy, plus the fruit of years and years of experience bartending and living with lesbians, the twinks, etc etc etc that's the bear giving me that advice, the broody punk mainly broods (and is a really nice guy if you can get through his wall).

There are people who LIVE for the drama, and they're by no means all bio-female!