Most transsexuals regret transitioning?

[Northern Jane]

Prior to transition/SRS in 1974, "a ripe old age" for a transsexual was 25 - most did not make it beyond that and 30 was almost unheard of. The year before I transitioned (1974, age 24), I had tried 3 times to kill myself (serious attempts) and there is little doubt I would have succeeded if help had not come along.

That was 35 years ago. Life has not been a bowl of cherries but it has been way better than anything that came before. At least, as myself, I can face life and its hardships.

[tekla]

Prior to transition/SRS in 1974, "a ripe old age" for a transsexual was 25 - most did not make it beyond that and 30 was almost unheard of

You have not a scintilla of proof or a shred of evidence for that point.  Considering that the word itself had only been around for 8 years at that point it would be highly doubtful that any long term study with a meaningful statistical group had been done.  You are projecting your life deep into history and I'm not sure that works out that way.   I'm sure before that, some took desperate measures, others found a way, life does find a way after all.

Its a lot easier to live without options if you don't know about any.  In the same way that before TV lots of people grew up poor and never knew it, because everyone around them was too.

[Witch of Hope]

I had my transition 1994 (for 15 years).Even it was sometimes very hard and difficould for me, there was NO time in my life to regret this step.
Why? Before I start to ask a doctor for medical help, know who I was. I know, that i would NEVER look like Kim Basinger, that my height wouldn't gone. I was authentic. i didn't play a role by my therapists or my doctors, I was just who i am.
Oh, their was people who try to hit me or puke on me. I lost my family,my children and my job, but I now it was right for me.
And, before a TS-Person didn't has this feeling, he or she should not have a sex change surgery.

[Nathan.]

Thanks for the replies.

I emailed him asking why he thinks this. Not sure he's going to reply though.

Nathan.

[Northern Jane]

Prior to transition/SRS in 1974, "a ripe old age" for a transsexual was 25 - most did not make it beyond that and 30 was almost unheard of

You have not a scintilla of proof or a shred of evidence for that point.  Considering that the word itself had only been around for 8 years at that point it would be highly doubtful that any long term study with a meaningful statistical group had been done.  You are projecting your life deep into history and I'm not sure that works out that way.   I'm sure before that, some took desperate measures, others found a way, life does find a way after all.

Its a lot easier to live without options if you don't know about any.  In the same way that before TV lots of people grew up poor and never knew it, because everyone around them was too.

I guess attending funerals and hearing about the deaths of girls I knew doesn't count as "a study" so you are right.

Options didn't exist then and many had enough of the pain by 25 and chose one way or another to end it. The fact that I knew over 30 people and only heard of a few over 25 wouldn't constitute a study either.

Of course back then nobody gave a sh!t about us and many the underlying reason for many of the deaths was covered up by family.

Oh, and by the way we were around for as long as civilization. We didn't wait for the word to be coined to be who we were. We didn't have a name for it but we found others like ourselves well before Dr. Benjamin.

[Nicky]

You could always explain, Nathan, that you are not most people, and that some of the people who end up unhappy are the ones that don't have enough support. Let him know that his support could make the difference between you being unhappy or happy after transition.

[tekla]

In fact, I don't think you could really be 'transsexual' until the technology was there for the change, for you to be able to move from one to the other, some people lived as the opposite gender - mostly FtMs living as males - but before the science and technology, they would have been something else. Transgender (I think 1962 or so) or ->-bleeped-<-s (mid-19th Century if not before).

[K8]

Many non-Judeo-Christian cultures have had two-spirited people back into pre-history.  Just because they couldn't change their physical sex doesn't mean they weren't at least transgendered.

But back to the original post: Some may regret transitioning, either because all their other problems still exist or they had unrealistic expectations.  I know very few TSs other than on this site, but at least one I know is disappointed because she wasn't wholly transformed into a beautiful, desirable woman when she got a vagina.  

Early on, like when Northern Jane transitioned, very few people accepted transsexuals as anything other than sexual deviants.  That's a tough environment in which to live.  People are much more accepting now.  I have had people who know about me look at me with a raised eyebrow, but I have had no one treat me badly.  If any studies exist linking suicide with SRS, I would look very carefully at the era of the study.

- Kate

[shanetastic]

I think realistic expectations are a major thing too.

Of course, I can add in the humor too as well and say wait I'm not just going to turn into some gorgeous girl Kate!?!?  What madness is this!! :p

I think a combination of depression and expectations are what can let people down.  Through transition some people just stay depressed I think and they don't work on that with anyone maybe or something?  I know the first time I was transitioning (my failed attempt of course) I was depressed as heck.  Now, worked through that and happy and transition is just going steady and ppppeeerrffect

[sd]

Of the few surveys done on this topic
(sorry no reference, I saw this a bit back)
In 1987 87% were happy with transition.
In 1997 97% were happy with transition.

[sneakersjay]

at least one I know is disappointed because she wasn't wholly transformed into a beautiful, desirable woman when she got a vagina.  

What?!  You mean after I've been on T for a few years I'm not going to look like George Clooney?  Or Brad Pitt?  Or whoever the sexiest man in Hollywood is these days?!  What a rip!!!




Jay

[Alex_C]

Tell him the truth that very very few regret transitioning. And that's why they have the standards of care to make sure you know what you are getting into. And in the early stages the transition is reversable, you just stop taking the hormones and at least mostly go back. By the time people are getting surgery they're really committed.

And some people are gonna be unhappy transitioned or not. They have other problems lol.

[K8]

What?!  You mean after I've been on T for a few years I'm not going to look like George Clooney?  Or Brad Pitt?  Or whoever the sexiest man in Hollywood is these days?!  What a rip!!!

Now you've burst my bubble, Jay.   I thought you were already close to being Brad Pitt (only nicer). 

- Kate

[Alex_C]

Hey you may end up looking like other stars like ...

Charles Bronson
Don Knotts
Werner Klemperer
Werner's co-star in Hogan's Heroes, John Banner (Schultz)

Me, I think looking like Hogan would kick ass but I'll just end up looking like me oh well.

[sneakersjay]

Hey you may end up looking like other stars like ...

Charles Bronson
Don Knotts
Werner Klemperer
Werner's co-star in Hogan's Heroes, John Banner (Schultz)

Me, I think looking like Hogan would kick ass but I'll just end up looking like me oh well.

Somebody around here said I looked like Martin Sheen; I think I look more like Archie Bunker!


Jay

[Virginia87106]

K8 said:  "But back to the original post: Some may regret transitioning, either because all their other problems still exist or they had unrealistic expectations.  I know very few TSs other than on this site, but at least one I know is disappointed because she wasn't wholly transformed into a beautiful, desirable woman when she got a vagina."

This is the most common disappointment that I have noticed from knowing hundreds of trans people.  Some have unrealistic expectations, and dream of lovers coming out of the woodwork after SRS.  Others believe it will solve all of their problems, and are surprised to realize that all  (or most) of the problems are still there after SRS.
But inspite of that, very few of us "regret" transition.  We learn to adapt, and sometimes we learn to be satisfied with things not being perfect.

[katherine]

I would be amazed if I turned into a desirable woman after SRS.  Like many others here, I'm no spring chick.  I only look forward to living life as me and not him.  All the baggage I have as a male will be there waiting for me after transition, for the most part.  I'm sure most if not all the women here are aware of that.
I'll be happy to find love, but I don't expect to find the kind of love I'm looking for.  The only expectation I have is matching my exterior to my interior.
Maybe I'm wrong, but if anyone truly expects more than that, they aren't being very realistic.  It's like cake.  Everything else is the icing.  Any non-gender related problems one has going into transition will still be around afterward.  In the course of transition, we may lose friends, family, and even jobs.  That may likely cause some degree of regret, but transitioning in and of itself should cause little regret, unless you in fact are not the person you thought you were (and counseling should have sorted that out).  I hope I'm making some sense here without babbling on and on...

[Witch of Hope]

If it would be a contest for look alike before and after my transition in which i was been, They would say that before my transsition I would look alike Tom Arnold, and after my transsition as Rosy O'Donnell. But maybe they are wrong.