Did your family ever laugh at you?

[junpei]

I've been openly transgendered with my parents for a couple of months now. I've cut my hair boy-short and am saving up to buy a binder. I've also thought a lot about names, which isn't something I want to jump into right away in real life: it requires some thought, so I think about it. Online, I've started to go by the name George. My mom found out in one way or another. She said "Please don't tell me we have to start calling you George now." and began to laugh. I really couldn't see what was funny, so I asked her. She replied "George? I mean, seriously, George?" and continued to laugh. I got a little upset, we had a bit of an argument, and that was that.

Do you ever get the feeling that being transgendered is a bit of a joke to your family, that they consider it a "phase" that your going to grow out of sooner or later? I love my parents, and I know they're doing the best they can with the whole situation, so I have to be patient, but I get a little fed up with the "if we don't take it seriously, it will go away" mentality.

What about you guys?

[Miniar]

I got a sister that's "laughed" at me even when I didn't do anything to deserve it.
Some people just are that way.

[Jeatyn]

It's definitely regarded as one of my crazy schemes by a few family members. My sister especially, who I live with. She's obviously in denial, she doesn't bother with my name or the male pronouns at all and treats it like a joke if I correct her.

For example, she'll do things like buy me a really feminine top and then when I tell her I won't wear it, she acts completely oblivious to the situation. "Why not? I'll look lovely on you, it'll really show off your figure"

....yeeeeah my figure is hidden away in baggy clothes all the time for a reason

Then I just get the eyerolling "oh whatever, you're being weird still" look I have come to know and love.

[K8]

My sister didn't laugh, but I'm pretty sure she thought this was just one more crazy scheme I had come up with.  (Now why would she think that? )  One month into me being Kate full time, she asked me to resurrect old-what's-his-name for a party she was giving.  When I said I just couldn't do it, she started to realize that this is real.  We've visited several times since then, with me being more completely Kate each time.  Now she realizes this is real and is begining to treat me as the sister she never had but always wanted.

Junpei, your mother may take a while to realize that this is, indeed, real for you.  Or it may have been that the name George just struck as her funny.

Family can be the toughest.  Be patient and keep talking.

*hugs*
Kate

[Meshi]

I simply dont care what others have to say or think if it is neg.  I live my own life.  Until one starts paying my bills or living my life, i own it no one else.  Why waste time on ppl like that?

[Jamie-o]

Or it may have been that the name George just struck as her funny.

George is a rather old-fashioned name that comes attached to some serious baggage.  (Which would you rather be associated with?  The monkey, or the worst president this country has ever had?  Or how about the old cartoon - "Duuuh, where did he go, George? Where did he go?"  George of the Jungle?  Watch out for that tree!)

That being said, I suspect it wasn't just this incident that has you upset, and I can understand the frustration.  It's tough for parents to deal with their kids changing.  They have enough of a hard time with their kids just growing up - something they fully expect and approve of - let alone something so out-side the norm as changing genders.  At least she isn't completely freaking out.  Hopefully with time she'll come around.  Here, have a hug in the mean time.     

[Jeatyn]

Also on a totally off topic note, I have to ask, did you get the name Junpei from persona 3?

[V M]

My family members laugh at me and gossip all the time. What's funny is that they think I don't notice. My one sister is the most supportive. Most of my family wont talk to me or acknowlege my existence 

[Cindy]

When I came out as a child my parents would not accept it.

When I came out to my wife's family and friend 40 years later no one has not accepted it. I still get the mixed pronouns though. I did get from my sisters in laws (2); We think of you as Cindy all the time, but what do we call you when you are in male clothes, is calling you Cindy still OK? Love em. Has lead to some hilarious events. (BTW my situation is a little more complicated than many as you may find in earlier posts).

BTW why George?


Love and Hugs
Cindy

[V M]

I feel so alone most of the time. But I don't want to be a wah wah girl. I am so glad for the friends who are there

[tekla]

Well I read stories in here about people who were physically beaten, hauled off to church to be saved (I'll take the beating please), kicked out into the streets, cut off from the entire family - so a little laughing, on a scale from one to ten, its about a 3.5.

[Autumn]

I'm going to second the sentiment that "George" is probably what made her laugh, not you. As I posted in my name thread in the TS board, my wholly supportive ex who said during our relationship that we were basically a lesbian couple and had no problem kissing me in public, told me that the name I've been using makes her stomach churn (because it's her hated sister's middle name.)

Sometimes, a rose by any other name, sounds better to other people.

[Nero]

Sometimes people laugh about things to try to ease the discomfort. With my own family, I often joke and laugh about the changes I'm going through. It makes it easier on me. Less discomfort. Maybe your mom is attempting the same thing.

[thestory]

Hmmm... yeah I have had my family laugh at me, namely my mother. Depending on her tone it can be either a good or bad thing. When my mom makes a joke about my gender and laughs its more of a sign of warming up. But that all varies from person to person.
When my dad laughs at me about these kinds of things, it is a bad sign.

[pretty pauline]

My 3brothers use to laugh at me, 2brothers reluctantly excepted me, but my other brother who was just a year older than me thought it was a silly sissy girly phase I was going thru, then when I was going thru the different changes of transition he use to laugh said Id never be excepted as a woman, nearly freaked out when I had my first boyfriend, my 3brothers had girlfriends and are now married, why should I not have a boyfriend, I hope to marry my boyfriend next year, yes my brother USED to laugh, well he's not laughing now, my transition is long complete, my brother no longer has 3brothers, he has 2brothers and 1 very happy feminine girly sister, who's fully excepted as a woman, turns heads and gets chatted up by guys all the time, its horrible getting laughed at, my brothers giggling when myself and my Mam going shopping for the most gorgeous dresses and helping me to become the woman I am today, it was a big joke and a laugh to my brother when Paul became Pauline,, not laughing now.
p

[V M]

Well I read stories in here about people who were physically beaten, hauled off to church to be saved (I'll take the beating please), kicked out into the streets, cut off from the entire family - 

This all happened to me at various times. Some of my family has come back to me though

[Tasha]

Family, now there is an interesting topic. My family (mum,dad,sister) thought I was going through some weird phase, but luckily for me I had full support my many of my aunties, uncles and cousins. Interestingly enough this acceptance of theirs has created a slight rift among our family.

Sadly but true, my mum is dying of cancer and she still refuses to accept that I am a person, let alone her daughter.

For me I have just accepted that not everyone will embrace me and support me in this journey. And really the way I see it is that my mum, dad and sister are the ones missing out. Oh, ya they have laughed at me....
[img][img]

[junpei]

Hi. Thank-you for your replies. It helps to know I'm not the only one out there, even if it is only a matter of something a simple as being laughed at. I become frustrated with my life sometimes, and I'm sorry if It may have seemed as though this was the end all to be all of issues. I've had my share of really hard things in life, and this isn't one of them. I posted here because I'm horrible in understanding non-verbal communication and a laugh could mean anything to me. Reading that many of you weren't taken seriously in the beggining and that that changed over time makes me feel like less of a island. I'm very alone in much of my life and in being transgendered, I am more alone than I've ever been, so thank-you again.

Why George? It was the name I used to pretend was mine when I was alone as a child. I guess I associate a lot of good feelings with the name George.

And no, Junpei is not a name from persona 3. It was a name in my Japanese textbook.

Lastly, I have been thrown out onto the streets for different reasons, and I'm glad I'm at a point in my relationships where people just laugh.

[Inphyy]

I've been openly transgendered with my parents for a couple of months now. I've cut my hair boy-short and am saving up to buy a binder. I've also thought a lot about names, which isn't something I want to jump into right away in real life: it requires some thought, so I think about it. Online, I've started to go by the name George. My mom found out in one way or another. She said "Please don't tell me we have to start calling you George now." and began to laugh. I really couldn't see what was funny, so I asked her. She replied "George? I mean, seriously, George?" and continued to laugh. I got a little upset, we had a bit of an argument, and that was that.

Do you ever get the feeling that being transgendered is a bit of a joke to your family, that they consider it a "phase" that your going to grow out of sooner or later? I love my parents, and I know they're doing the best they can with the whole situation, so I have to be patient, but I get a little fed up with the "if we don't take it seriously, it will go away" mentality.

What about you guys?

*Nods head in complete agreement*

[aurora17]

As for the name, I'm lucky I guess, as I already have a female first name. So my parents can never complain about it.

As for now, only my sister knows about my GID, my mother knows only part of the truth. My sister is very supportive, my mother is afraid, but I'm waiting for her to get used to the idea my body is becoming female before going further. As for my father, he will never know.