Hi all,
First off I try to chose my wording as carefully as possible to make sure I don't accidentally say something that would offend someone. There is only sincerity in this message so if I word something inappropriate feel free to let me know but not yelling!
The LGBT community is very diverse to say the least. As far as trasngendered goes there are multiple flavors. If someone is trying to pass as a female either because they know/feel they are a female inside or if they are a crossdresser most of the time it would be safe to refer to that person as her/she. This type of person will put makeup on, perhaps a wig and female clothing. If I am sitting at a bar and I see this person I would feel comfortable telling the bartender I would like to buy 'her' a drink.
However to me it seems a bit different with FTM. I work at a University so I see a LOT of different types of people. The other night I visited a bar on campus and was sitting next to what appeared to be a genetic female that had masculine qualities. Short haircut, male clothing, etc. No facial hair that I could notice. I really couldn't tell if this was a FTM or perhaps a butch (i am not sure if that is an appropriate term or not) lesbian. This person had asked the bartender for a drink and he forgot. I wanted to get the bartender's attention and tell him (he/she) needed a drink and I refrained from doing that because to be honest I had no idea what pronoun I should have used.
If anyone has any thoughts or advice on this I would really appreciate it. I would feel horrible if I used the wrong pronoun and upset someone.
