Not feeling right with God

[Walter]

I really hope this doesn't start arguments or something. This isn't my intention. But this haunts me all the time and I'm kind of lost on it..

I've been Christian since I was 11. Since then, I've always believed in God and tried to be a good Christian. Fast forward til now and I still believe in God and I still want to be a good Christian. But lately I've been wondering if God even cares at all about me anymore. I feel like an outcast (not from society but from God) ever since I admitted I was trans. I have this feeling that God has discarded me because of it. I've been trying to force myself back to living as Female (tomboy), Agendered, Androgynous, ect. but it never works. Whenever I do that, it feels like I'm putting a costume on and just covering who I am. And then sometimes I wonder "If I'm really male...then why didn't God save me the trouble and just make me physically male too?" And then it continues to strike up more thoughts like "If that's the case then maybe I'm not even male and this is just a phase..." and so on. I'm ranting...I'm sorry. But in the end I just feel disconnected from God and I feel that it's because of my gender. Any thoughts or opinions? I guess this is just to get it off my chest. Did I make a topic like this before? Because I can't remember...and I'm sorry if I did in the past

[thestory]

I am also Christian. I always try to keep in mind that translation of the bible is often misinterpreted or is taken far out of context of the situation and time of the story. So when I am told it is a sin to be what I am, or that I am dammed, I attempt to take it with a grain of salt. But I cannot deny who I am.
I also believe that god puts us down specific paths to teach us and train us so that we can become the person we are supposed to be. Our experiences sculpt us into specific people. If being trans helps make me who I am supposed to be in gods eyes then so be it. Perhaps being this way makes me a tool to carry his will or help someone else.

[tekla]

I'm not much on the god deal, but when I look out into the world, I see a lot of stuff that seems more important to the whole - war, starvation, cruelty - for god to worry about.  Gender, and clothing seem rather low on the list.

[thestory]

I'm not much on the god deal, but when I look out into the world, I see a lot of stuff that seems more important to the whole - war, starvation, cruelty - for god to worry about.  Gender, and clothing seem rather low on the list.

I think of it more in a cause and effect sort of of way. Circumstances mold people. Perhaps a person to help cure one of those issues. It doesn't necessarily have to be gender related. It doesn't have to be connected with believing in god either if someone chooses to look at it that way.
I am trying to keep it in context of James comments and I don't think gender identity should conflict with ones religious views. You'll just end up depressed usually.

[Alicia Marie]

James,
  At the risk of getting slammed by those who do not believe in Christ, my view of your transgender problem is this:
  The word of God says to love the Lord with all your heart and all your soul and all your mind and all your strength and to love your neighbor as yourself.
  In other words, keep the Lord first in your life and allow him to handle everything else. The word of God says that the Lord said your Father knows what you have need of before you ask.
  This is just my opinion but I think sometimes people make a god out of the issues that are constantly on their mind before the Lord. Not willingly, but just without knowing they are doing such.
  The same Lord that parted the Red Sea is capable of giving you a peace in your mind and spirit if you keep your focus on him and not on the trans issue. In other words, keep the Lord first and let him sort out the rest.
  I know that is easier said than done but it is scriptural and something even us straight people should do with our problems.
  The original gospel was to give a hope of eternal life with God through faith in the sacrifice of Christ. Since then man has used that gospel to either abuse the grace of God or to make the way so strict that nobody can make it in, depending on which end of the balance their beliefs are stemming from.
  May God bless.

[Miniar]

Are you sure it's "your" god you're not right with? and not the image of god as painted by other, louder, more bigoted, christians?

[Walter]

Are you sure it's "your" god you're not right with? and not the image of god as painted by other, louder, more bigoted, christians?

I've learned to disregard what the loud and obnoxious Christians say. I may be Christian, but the majority of other Christians have a screw loose (pretty much the ones that live in my town). But not all Christians are like that.

What did it for me was our landlords who are that kind of annoying Christians that no one can stand had the nerve to tell my mom that "It's bad your 'daughter' dresses Goth". My mom told me this. And we both had a good laugh

[Tammy Hope]

I can't say I have a specific answer - other than the obvious ocnsideration of trying to separate what God things from what God's followers thing he thinks.

But I can say that in my own experience, the more I tried to conform, the more cold and ritualistic my relationship with him got.

I can't say I'm "close" to him now (frankly, for other reasons, I'm not trying to be) but at least the relationship we have is a more honest one.

[Key]

James, you have a lot of valid questions.  I've asked myself the same things over and over, I keep praying "God, just make me a girl, don't make me go through this."  But then, God doesn't work like that.  God himself doesn't put these things upon us, he isn't the type of person who sits up on his throne and makes us go through hard things to test us.  God doesn't make bad things happen, bad things happen because the first man and woman screwed up.  The difference between us and the first humans, however, is we have the saving grace of Christ. 

Lets look at it like this.  Something happened that caused us to become trans, whether medically, emotionally, who knows, science is still looking at us.  We were born that way or we came into it.  There we have the problem: We don't feel right in our birth gender.  God doesn't fault you for that at all, and he definitely doesn't fault you for wanting to correct it.  As long as we have faith, he'll make things work out for the better.

I've been through a ->-bleeped-<-storm this summer with anxiety, panic, depression, and finally the realization that I'm not a man, but a woman.  Through it all, however, I kept praying, asking for guidance.  I had fallen out of church, following God, it was prayer when I needed something, I was a Sunday christian.  But then I started to feel him there again, and I know, because he is God, everything will come out right on the other side.  God is going to use me whatever I decide to do to change myself, because what matters to him is what's inside. 

If you're feeling God discarded you, get rid of that notion.  He didn't discard the israelites back then, and that was before christ died for us.  If you're feeling that God discarded you, that's satan talking.  He wants you to focus on the negative so that you can't focus on the positive, you can't hear God. 

Something that may help you, it helps me a lot, let God take control.  If you start feeling like you've been discarded, just say "Hey, God, I can't shake these feelings, can you do it for me?"  It's truly liberating because hey, he does it, he's happy to.  And then after that, you can start listening for him, and he'll tell you what he has planned for you, and that you've not been discarded.

Hope that helps, and I hope I didn't ramble too much, haha, I just typed what I felt.

[Walter]

James, you have a lot of valid questions.  I've asked myself the same things over and over, I keep praying "God, just make me a girl, don't make me go through this."  But then, God doesn't work like that.  God himself doesn't put these things upon us, he isn't the type of person who sits up on his throne and makes us go through hard things to test us.  God doesn't make bad things happen, bad things happen because the first man and woman screwed up.  The difference between us and the first humans, however, is we have the saving grace of Christ. 

Lets look at it like this.  Something happened that caused us to become trans, whether medically, emotionally, who knows, science is still looking at us.  We were born that way or we came into it.  There we have the problem: We don't feel right in our birth gender.  God doesn't fault you for that at all, and he definitely doesn't fault you for wanting to correct it.  As long as we have faith, he'll make things work out for the better.

I've been through a ->-bleeped-<-storm this summer with anxiety, panic, depression, and finally the realization that I'm not a man, but a woman.  Through it all, however, I kept praying, asking for guidance.  I had fallen out of church, following God, it was prayer when I needed something, I was a Sunday christian.  But then I started to feel him there again, and I know, because he is God, everything will come out right on the other side.  God is going to use me whatever I decide to do to change myself, because what matters to him is what's inside. 

If you're feeling God discarded you, get rid of that notion.  He didn't discard the israelites back then, and that was before christ died for us.  If you're feeling that God discarded you, that's satan talking.  He wants you to focus on the negative so that you can't focus on the positive, you can't hear God. 

Something that may help you, it helps me a lot, let God take control.  If you start feeling like you've been discarded, just say "Hey, God, I can't shake these feelings, can you do it for me?"  It's truly liberating because hey, he does it, he's happy to.  And then after that, you can start listening for him, and he'll tell you what he has planned for you, and that you've not been discarded.

Hope that helps, and I hope I didn't ramble too much, haha, I just typed what I felt.

It helped, Key. I liked this post...thank you ^____^

[Suzy]

[Key]

It helped, Key. I liked this post...thank you ^____^

I'm glad ^^

[Debra]

Great Post Key

And James, I'm having similar issues. I came away from a guys' bible study just last week and tried to kill myself. My logic was "God would rather have me dead than be a woman". I'm still wrestling with this though and everyone around me except for a few choice friends don't want me to even see a counselor with tg experience. My wife is the worst perpetrator which makes it even harder.

More details at my blog: http://jericamtf.blogspot.com

[Key]

Great Post Key

And James, I'm having similar issues. I came away from a guys' bible study just last week and tried to kill myself. My logic was "God would rather have me dead than be a woman". I'm still wrestling with this though and everyone around me except for a few choice friends don't want me to even see a counselor with tg experience. My wife is the worst perpetrator which makes it even harder.

More details at my blog: http://jericamtf.blogspot.com

You need to look for what God is saying though, not your friends, not your wife, not a bible study, not a councilor.  If the bible study is causing problems, leave it.

[Walter]

Beautiful...

[Washu Chan]

Psalm 139 (English)

I always found the book of psalms to be very poetic in its spirituality.

[Julie Marie]

When I looked around my house and found the place I built, where I raised three beautiful children, a place once filled with family and laughter, empty; I asked myself why?  Why did god make me this way? Why did my family leave me?

The answer that came to me was "to teach me something".

Since then I've learned a lot.  I never knew discrimination.  I do now.  I never knew prejudice.  I do now.  I never knew what it was like to really struggle.  I do now.

I see a homeless person and I "see" him or her.  I never saw them before.  I see a lot of things I never saw before and I feel a real part of this world.  Being trans and admitting it has taught me a lot.

I used to live in a box and I didn't even know it.  Now I live in the world and I realize how unimportant my personal struggles really are.

Julie

[Robin.]

I really hope this doesn't start arguments or something. This isn't my intention. But this haunts me all the time and I'm kind of lost on it..

I've been Christian since I was 11. Since then, I've always believed in God and tried to be a good Christian. Fast forward til now and I still believe in God and I still want to be a good Christian. But lately I've been wondering if God even cares at all about me anymore. I feel like an outcast (not from society but from God) ever since I admitted I was trans. I have this feeling that God has discarded me because of it. I've been trying to force myself back to living as Female (tomboy), Agendered, Androgynous, ect. but it never works. Whenever I do that, it feels like I'm putting a costume on and just covering who I am. And then sometimes I wonder "If I'm really male...then why didn't God save me the trouble and just make me physically male too?" And then it continues to strike up more thoughts like "If that's the case then maybe I'm not even male and this is just a phase..." and so on. I'm ranting...I'm sorry. But in the end I just feel disconnected from God and I feel that it's because of my gender. Any thoughts or opinions? I guess this is just to get it off my chest. Did I make a topic like this before? Because I can't remember...and I'm sorry if I did in the past

Perhaps God gave you the life you have so that you might have a struggle that strengthens you. Perhaps to strengthen you so that you might help others, or help the world.

And I don't think anywhere in the bible speaks against ->-bleeped-<-. There is some pro-eunick stuff, but thats more MtF...
But something I think is also important to pay attention to is that nowhere in the Bible does it define a man for his body. So regardless of you physical attributes you are a man if you know your a man.

[Walter]

Perhaps God gave you the life you have so that you might have a struggle that strengthens you. Perhaps to strengthen you so that you might help others, or help the world.

And I don't think anywhere in the bible speaks against ->-bleeped-<-. There is some pro-eunick stuff, but thats more MtF...
But something I think is also important to pay attention to is that nowhere in the Bible does it define a man for his body. So regardless of you physical attributes you are a man if you know your a man.

This post caught my attention. Thank you, Robin.

I've read everyone's posts on this topic too

[Robin.]

This post caught my attention. Thank you, Robin.

I've read everyone's posts on this topic too

Your welcome! 

I'm not actually a christian... but I do alot of thinking about christianity in general because I find argueing one side or the other to be fun. But I don't believe that believing is wrong. So when I see that a bit of logic I stumbled upon in my thinkings might help someone, I let it help.