transitioning while living at home.

[ftme]

helloo. i just discovered this lovely forum today and i'm looking to get some opinions/advice as to what i should do regarding my situation. i'm 18. i'm ftm. i've just started college. currently, i am still living at home. i bind on a regular basis, but i don't make that apparent to my family. i usually do it while i'm out of the house. i want to continue to make these transitional steps, but i'm afraid that it could lead to some potentially awkward moments. i don't want to come out to my family yet, although i am sure they have a pretty good idea. they know i have a girlfriend (even though i haven't actually said it) and i've been boyish my whole life. should i just continue to bind and pack and seem like it's normal? i just don't want my family to question me. i really want to present this way all the time but i just don't feel like telling them.

[DamagedChris]

Welcome to the family.

My experience in this is that the longer you pass it off as "everyday" the more you'll have to come up with new excuses or reasons for everything you do...and sooner or later you're gonna have to let the bomb fall, if you plan on actually continuing with it.

IMO, best to chop off the limb with one big stroke than saw at it with a butter knife for weeks.

[placeholdername]

There's really no way to have both at once.  If you go present as male then your family is going to notice, and if you don't tell them then who knows what kind of crazy ideas they could end up with?  If you're not already seeing a gender therapist, figure out a way to do that.  If you don't have your own cash flow that might involve telling your family.  If you do, then the therapist can really help with talking to them about it.

[Nero]

If you have any reason to believe you'll be kicked out or in danger it might be best to bide your time.

[placeholdername]

If you have any reason to believe you'll be kicked out or in danger it might be best to bide your time.

That's definitely true too, I don't know much about your family.  But you definitely can't have both at the same time.

[Mister]

Eventually, you're going to have to communicate with your parents about your girlfriend, about your transition, whatever.  Just assuming they know everything is not a healthy form of communication.