Feeling depressed ;/

[Matthew J. F]

Lately I've been feeling rather depressed to what I am thinking of doing. I don't know if it's the right thing but I have a strong urge to disconnect to all of my current friends (even to those whom I'm very well connected with) and then start fresh again by getting a new generation of friends that accepts me for who I am.

When I'm around my current friends I have to pretend to be someone that I'm not. I feel like I'm in a movie playing a character when I'm around friends but when I come home (or riding around on my bike in public) and am alone I feel like I'm back to what I'm suppose to be and actually feel better.

How do you guys handle this kind of situation? should I or should I not disconnect from my current friends? how can I deal with this kind of situation?

If theirs a god why did he do this to us?

[Nicky]

Something to think about is depressed people disconnect from those around them. It does not help. If you havn't already I would suggest talking to someone about depression.

Do your firends know you are TG? Could part of the problem be you are not quite comfortable expressing yourself in front of other people? This sounds like a big part of the problem to me. Because it sounds to me that you could just stop pretending, come clean, let them accept you as they will. This way you may get some great supporters, you may lose some friends. But on the balance this had got to be much better than chucking the whole lot I reckon.

I don't think you should disconnect, friends are important. In your current state of mind I don't think you will find it easy getting new ones.

[placeholdername]

I agree with Nicky -- you could A) disconnect and find new friends or B) tell your friends.  If you go with A, you always lose your current friends, if you go with B, you might or you might not.  I don't see how A could be better than B.

[Teknoir]

I'd say not to disconnect. If you consider these people your friends, then at least give them a chance to accept you. That includes a bit of adaption time.

If you don't feel like telling them everything straight away, you could always just drop some of the act. Start being yourself a little more around them. Get them used to the actual you at a pace you feel comfortable with.

Wanting to disconnect when you're working through something big is normal. If you don't want to talk about it with them, then you can always let them know you might not be around much for the next few somethings because you've got some personal things to sort out.

If theirs a god why did he do this to us?

You say that like it's a bad thing.

I'm only guessing here, but it sounds like you're not entirely comfortable with it yet. You might want to delay coming out until you're more comfortable in yourself, and being yourself around others.

I'm not having a go, btw. We all go though that unsure / uncomfortable stage when we're first trying to get our head around things.

I say what I say because even the most supportive people around you are going to have a million questions. People are also much more likely to accept you and any actions you want to take in the future if you're sure of yourself, and you're not treating it as something negative to be ashamed of.

[Radar]

I know how you feel. Lately I just want to pack up and move. Leave all the BS and everything behind and start anew.

If theirs a god why did he do this to us?

I ask myself this everyday.