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What a day..

Started by Calistine, September 14, 2009, 02:02:19 PM

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Calistine

So I put on a guys shirt today and I could clearly see my breasts. I dont know if others could but I did. So I was concious the whole day. When I got to school my friend told me that their friend saw my pictures and couldnt beleive I was a "bio chick" as he put it. I felt good but at the same time I was scared. I couldnt belive I was actually passing as the guy I shouldve been, so I had a flashback to when I was a girl trying so hard not to be a man. It was scary. Like I was no longer in a girl suit. You know what I mean.

When it comes to my breasts..Im always in school wishing my breasts would deflate. They start to hurt.

Oh my god...I just saw a cold case episode with a transman about my age. They forced him to go to a hopsital to become a lady. They eventually beat him and put him in a dress. That was so hard for me to see I broke down crying. Im still crying..I dont even know how Im typing this.
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Alex_C

Dang dude I would hug you and feed you chocolate (or beef jerky or whatever your comfort food is) seriously.

And I would hold you until you felt all better, "no homo" as they say in the oh-so-manly bodybuilding forums.
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myles

I was that cold case, sad as heck. I am sorry your having a rough one. Hang in there.
Myles
"A life lived in fear is a life half lived"
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Calistine

Haha thanks. No homo indeed :P
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Nicky

I saw that episonde too. Really sad. If I remember right the transmans friend was a good guy?

Great comments from your mates friend though eh? People like that are gold.

You're doing it, keep on keeping on. I'm not surprised it was scary. That acceptance probably still seems like a fragile thing.
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Mister

Quote from: Kyle :3 on September 14, 2009, 02:02:19 PM
Oh my god...I just saw a cold case episode with a transman about my age. They forced her to go to a hopsital to become a lady. They eventually beat her and put her in a dress. That was so hard for me to see I broke down crying. Im still crying..I dont even know how Im typing this.

So, you'd like to be accepted as the guy you are, yet you can't show basic respect to others?  Don't hold your breath.
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Teknoir

Quote from: Kyle :3 on September 14, 2009, 02:02:19 PM
Oh my god...I just saw a cold case episode with a transman about my age. They forced her him to go to a hopsital to become a lady. They eventually beat her him and put her him in a dress.

You might want to watch those pronouns, kiddo.

A transman in drag = still just a man in drag.

Don't worry about the TV show. They make those shows to deliberatly get people emotionally involved with the characters (and to be as shocking as possible). My mother loves that show (thankfully, we're usually a good year or two behind in TV shows over here... :laugh:).
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thestory

I remember that episode too. Used to watch the show with my parents. Not the most pleasant episode but I liked it better than some of the others story wise. Probably because there is emotional investment in that situation.

I don't know what chest size you are but mine are a pain to hide. I can get rid of them somewhat with homemade binders but under certain cloth you can still tell I have breasts (or at least I believe so). Some days I can get my chest pretty flat and I feel okay but of course when the end of the day comes there's a lot of tenderness there and they have to come out for a while.

It's something I remind myself will be fixed eventually (hopefully soon). I enjoy being able to hide my breasts but they are still there and the anxiety of having others notice always creeps up whenever it pleases. I want to be seen as a man, not a girl masquerading in boy's clothes.


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Calistine

Quote from: Mister on September 15, 2009, 12:59:31 AM
So, you'd like to be accepted as the guy you are, yet you can't show basic respect to others?  Don't hold your breath.

It was an accident. They kept calling him a her the whole episode so it kinda stuck with me.
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Mister

Quote from: Kyle :3 on September 15, 2009, 01:28:23 PM
It was an accident. They kept calling him a her the whole episode so it kinda stuck with me.

I accidentally typed the wrong thing ten times!  WHOOPS!
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Calistine

Quote from: Mister on September 15, 2009, 01:29:20 PM
I accidentally typed the wrong thing ten times!  WHOOPS!
Leave me alone..Im sorry I was thinking him the whole time. It was wrong.
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Shelina

I can't believe you're female!  :o When I opened this thread and saw your face, thought you were mtf rather than ftm, LOL! (seriously) Hey you're teeny, start taking Testosterone before Estrogen damages your system more. Me I deeply regret and angry with myself as a mtf I hadn't started taking Estrogen when I was 14.
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Calistine

Quote from: Shelina on September 15, 2009, 02:13:13 PM
I can't believe you're female!  :o When I opened this thread and saw your face, thought you were mtf rather than ftm, LOL! (seriously) Hey you're teeny, start taking Testosterone before Estrogen damages your system more. Me I deeply regret and angry with myself as a mtf I hadn't started taking Estrogen when I was 14.

Heh wow thanks :)
Actually. I have excess testosterone so I suppose that gives me a bit of a boost. Don't be angry at yourself. Theres plenty of time to become the woman you were meant to be. I like to think of it as going through puberty all over again
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Mister

Quote from: Shelina on September 15, 2009, 02:13:13 PM
I can't believe you're female!  :o When I opened this thread and saw your face, thought you were mtf rather than ftm, LOL! (seriously) Hey you're teeny, start taking Testosterone before Estrogen damages your system more. Me I deeply regret and angry with myself as a mtf I hadn't started taking Estrogen when I was 14.

WTF is wrong with everyone in this thread?

A FTM is not female.
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Tay

I agree Mister.

If you are happy with thinking of and calling yourself a female or being called female by someone, why are you transitioning???

I am an FTM, I am a male, my body is just wrong but I'm working on that...
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Miniar

*puts mod hat on*

Okay guys. Time to get back on the original topic and stop making personal jabs at people before the thread gets locked. Okay?

*takes mod hat off*



"Everyone who has ever built anywhere a new heaven first found the power thereto in his own hell" - Nietzsche
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Calistine

Quote from: Tay on September 15, 2009, 03:23:54 PM
I agree Mister.

If you are happy with thinking of and calling yourself a female or being called female by someone, why are you transitioning???

I am an FTM, I am a male, my body is just wrong but I'm working on that...
I dont think Im female and i never said I was. Shelina did and she meant biological female. I know she meant it physically and as a compliment saying I look male. Seriously why cant we just relax. Im not trying to start a fight.
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Silver

You guys are so easily offended, you get offended for other people.

Congratulations, you do look like a young boy to me as well. Must feel great. Good luck with the rest of your transition.

SilverFang
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Jay

Quote from: Mister on September 15, 2009, 12:59:31 AM
So, you'd like to be accepted as the guy you are, yet you can't show basic respect to others?  Don't hold your breath.

Exactly.

QuoteYou guys are so easily offended, you get offended for other people.

Well when you spend alot of time explaining to people that you are a guy once you have outted yourself and they keep saying she and her its hard to not get offended.

Jay


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Mister

Quote from: SilverFang on September 16, 2009, 12:59:25 PM
You guys are so easily offended, you get offended for other people.
SilverFang

There is a big difference how you react between being early in transition and having someone screw your pronouns up all the time and after it's been years.  Weigh in then.
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