A powerful message for parents in a poem...

[tinkerbell]

At the Beach

We would climb the highest dune,
from there to gaze and come down:
the ocean was performing;
we contributed our climb.

Waves leapfrogged and came
straight out of the storm.
What should our gaze mean?
Kit waited for me to decide.

Standing on such a hill,
what would you tell your child?
That was an absolute vista.
Those waves raced far, and cold.

"How far could you swim, Daddy,
in such a storm?"
"As far as was needed," I said,
and as I talked, I swam.

By William Stafford


"In our poem....  the father has pulled his daughter up to view the great storms of life.
They stare together at the stormy ocean.
The daughter wants to know:  "How far could you swim, Daddy, in such a storm?"
How far will you go for your child?
How far does your heart reach out into the world?
Can you embrace suffering, pain, tragedy, and sorrow?
Your child needs to hear an emotional truth spoken from your heart.
Your child needs to hear your heart---the shape of it.

Her question pulls him into the waves of the torn sea---
"As far as was needed," he says, and as he talks, he swims.

Being a parent is about being present,
not leaving,
bearing the difficulties,
staying in there,
being vulnerable,
not having all the answers.... Just there!


Some parents have a difficult time hearing the real questions our
children ask....we may even lack answers.
This can't be helped.  We will disappoint.
It is always there.  We will let our children down.
And that makes us feel empty and impotent.
It is hard "to not have an answer."


Sometimes, as parents, our hearts close for a while.
Life is too much...too hard.
We can feel so overwhelmed.
Maybe staying "open" is not the best thing to do at times...

Sometimes, when children walk into their homes
they sense distance, sadness, and heaviness.
they can be absent in their own home.
Children need to be reached for and touched--sought out and loved....

The question is:
will the parent (or the child)
remain unreachable?
or
will the parent wait, willing to sweat out the truths.?

Parents bring to their children an example of how to be around
hard things.  A parent will most likely do whatever he/she has to do to warm the room of his/her home.
Parents may not necessarily know how to nurture adequately,
or even be emotionally talkative.
But they will show up providing the stuff to live---
love, food, clothing, and shelter.
And it takes a certain hardness to be able to do that.

We as parents have some knowledge about death, trickery
and how fragile life is. 
We know the world is not safe.

Every path a child takes looks precarious to our eyes.
We need a warrior-like part in us
to arise and help us defend our children...
to fight for them.

By Itm"



Powerful words indeed.  You may add your comments if you wish..


tinkerbell