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What Have You Learned Since Coming Out?

Started by Julie Marie, September 17, 2009, 10:09:27 AM

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Tammy Hope

#20
September 20, 2009, 06:13:05 PM
Impressive contributions in this thread. I don't really think I have anything unique to contribute (especially as I'm further behind the curve than most) but some of it is already starting to ring true.

One thing I might say that hasn't been said is kind of an extension of Kate's "taking a lot longer to think of myself as Kate" remark. Sometimes I'm a bit troubled with myself that I don't instinctively think of myself as Laura (not even 100% settled on that name) - I can't wait to feel that way.

But more than that, I'm surprised a bit how hard it can be to feel like "one of the girls" when I'm in the company of an approving GG friend. My hairdresser for instance. We chat about a lot of the sorts of things you'd think you'd chat with a hairdresser about, but I wonder if it's a flase expectation to look forward to the day when it really feels like "two girls chatting" ....I'm not even sure if I'm making sense or expressing the thought correctly.

Still, it seems to me that there's an interplay between how much you feel like your new presentation fits into a given situation and how much confidence you employ, and vice versa. the more confident you are the more you fit and the more you fit the more confident you are.

Still, I guess what I've learned most is how much I have to learn - I almost feel like it's been a bit too easy for me this first year in some ways. Like I haven't really learned the harder lessons yet.

Disclaimer: due to serious injury, most of my posts are made via Dragon Dictation which sometimes butchers grammar and mis-hears my words. I'm also too lazy to closely proof-read which means some of my comments will seem strange.


http://eachvoicepub.com/PaintedPonies.php
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Julie Marie

#21
September 20, 2009, 06:25:10 PM
I wouldn't worry about it Laura.  It will come in time.  Think of this like you would entering a new school and feeling like you're not one of the crowd.  In time, you adjust and before you know it you can look back and wonder why you ever felt like an outsider.

The toughest part about transitioning is mental.  You have to believe it yourself before others will.

Julie
When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself.
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Kaitlyn

#22
September 20, 2009, 06:29:55 PM
1) I can do without most of the possessions I thought I needed, and be happier for it.

2) My armchair moralizing was childish and naive, and I defended ideas and people that didn't deserve it.

3) The approval of my family would be wonderful, but I can't hold my life hostage for it.

4) Friends, especially GGs, like me much better as a girl -I'm more relaxed and natural, and I can be more empathetic.

5) It's thrilling to overcome fear and present publicly as female.
"The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled."
— Plutarch
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K8

#23
September 21, 2009, 09:22:02 PM
BTW, I've also learned that they make an incredible variety of really cute shoes in my size. :)

Now if I could just find a big strong man to build a larger closet for me ...  ;)

- Kate
Life is a pilgrimage.
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