What I've learned in the last five months:
> This is both harder and easier than I thought it would be.
> You never know how people will react.
> If you fully accept yourself, it will be easier.
> If you try to blend in – wear age-appropriate clothing for your area – it will be easier.
> The more friends you have, the easier it will be.
> If you can maintain a sense of humor, it will be easier.
> It will still be hard.
> Accept help wherever you find it.
> Do not attempt this alone – get professional help.
> Everyone you know will be going through a transition with you.
> Your attitude makes a HUGE difference.
> This is far more interesting to you than it is to anyone else.
> How you see yourself will evolve as you go through this.
> Most barriers are within.
> You will change in ways you didn't expect and not change in ways you thought you would.
> Just when you think you have this licked, you'll get smacked with something unexpected.
> There is one helluva lot more going on inside than outside.
> (I'm not sure this fits, but I'm learning an awful lot about myself. For the first time in my life I am becoming secure in who I am.)
> Some of us have it easier than others. (duh
)
> This is a long settling-in process.
> There's an awful lot of admin work – just changing my name required over 3 dozen notifications with numerous follow-ups to correct mistakes.
> That first sales call or junk mail appeal to the new you will be
thrilling.
> It's taking a lot longer to think of myself as Kate than I had thought (therefore I need to cut my friends some slack when they take a while, too).
> This is a whole new life but is still the same old life. Finding that balance point can be tough. (Just one more adjustment.
)
> Living in your head sucks a lot more than I realized it did when I was doing it.
> Treating the idea that you are a woman today and were a man yesterday (or last week or last month...) as something normal helps those around you see it as normal, too.
> Go at your own pace, what you are comfortable with. Don't let others or your own expectations or an artificial timetable set the pace.
> You are more than your gender. While gender permeates your life and place in the world, there is
far more to who you are than what gender you present.
> You will not become the next sex idol. You may be attractive to some in the gender you want to attract, but chances are there won't be duals to the death in the parking lot for the privilege of seeking your favors.
> If you think transitioning will solve all your problems, you're wrong.
> Whenever I think that a list like this is complete, I'm wrong.
> This is something
you are doing. Ultimately, you will need to be able to rely on yourself.
> Discovering your style is wonderful and difficult but part of the process.
> Whatever ideas you have starting off about what it will be like or what you'll become are probably wrong.
> Have fun. You may be transitioning for the rest of your life, but this part, when it's new and exciting, only happens once.
> Puberty sucks, no matter how many times you go through it.
> Susan is providing an invaluable resource here. Some of the people here are wonderfully supportive and offer good information and insights.
> I have a lot more in common with FtMs than I had thought. Many of our issues and feelings are the same.
> Many of my GG friends have many of the same body image issues as I do.
> There are a lot of social and political aspects to this besides the physical and emotional ones.
> And lastly, this may be the strangest and most wonderful thing you ever do – enjoy it as much as you can.
- Kate
