Quote from: K8 on September 20, 2009, 03:09:36 PM
I went to church this morning and received several compliments on my jacket, on my hair, on my necklace. Everyone called me Kate and, most of the time, she. A new college-age girl was there who is a couple inches taller than me and has a squarer jaw (but of course looks a lot cuter and more feminine than I do). I had a long conversation with a gay man and a straight woman about the common issues of gays and TGs and how some things are tougher for gays than for heterosexual TSs.
I went to the café I usually go to for Sunday lunch. I know the owner and almost all of the staff and have known them for years. I sat down. The waitress comes over and says: "What can get for you, sir?"
Sh**!
On her next pass I stopped her and said: "Look. I'm trying very hard to become a woman. It would help me if you didn't call me sir. You don't have to call me anything, just don't call me sir." She gave me her squinty-eyed smile and said: "Sure. No problem. I can do that for you."
She is one of my least favorite waitresses, partially because I find her very difficult to read. Regardless, she came by and treated me more or less the same as she always does but didn't call me anything. When she brought the check, though, she did say ma'am.
I think she said something to the hostess (who is new and I don't know), because that woman hadn't called me anything when I came in but called me "ma'am" several times after my little talk with the waitress.
Ah, the sweet vicissitudes of transition. 
Take pleasure in the ups because there will be some downs, too.
- Kate
Well, you control the tip. If she is calling you mam, tip (noticeably) well. If not, tip accordingly
My wife used to wait tables, and they had a older MTF that came in pretty regularly. My wife had the sense to treat her with respect, and she started asking for the section where my wife worked when she would come in. It's all about respect.
