Gender Dissonance

[El]

how i feel tends to draw on what im doing at the time, varying wildly and with little warning. Mostly when im with my friends i feel myself trying to be more manly, when im on my own or talking to people online i generally feel like i can let out my feminine side a whole lot more. Now when i am feeling more like a male i can readily identify with that other part of me and its constantly there, below the surface however when im feeling feminine then the male side is also there but it seems more hostile and if i think into it too much i end up really depressed. The result of this is that through the day i might switch "modes" 7 or 8 times.

[Nicky]

I wonder if this has links to multiple personality disorder, with people that have mpd  swinging in the extreme to the point where they are seperate personas entirely?

Just a thought...

That must be really hard. I'm wondering if this is something you can integrate into one or it is something you just need to learn to live with? your experiences may be something totally different to my own (In which case my theory of the 'teenaged' state would not apply).

[Kinkly]

While I'm fluid genderwise I have a spot where I feel most comfortable but where i am at any point in time can change from there the biggest change that I notice is in my emotional responce cry when feeling girly feel the need to do something physical while more male if realy upset and feeling both I'll be crying while hugging my teddy bear then break the hug and hit it a few times then back to hugging it again

[Fenrir]

I'm mostly in the middle but I feel more confident when in male mode, so that's where I'd like to be. The thing is, I kind of reflect how the people around me are, so if I'm around guys I become totally male (albeit a bit of a cissy male) or if I'm around girls (especially those I don't know) I go all cutesy and girly. I can't really stand this state for very long as I come out of it feeling horrible (but I think this may have more to do with my own issues about what I think girls are like, I got a lot of sexist bullying in one of my schools and ended up internalising their thinking a bit  ).
I find my dysphoria gets worse in times of massive stress though. When I am going through a happy phase I'm more able to experiment with my girly side (in private!) 
I'm still trying to work through my gender issues though. I chickened out of joining the LGBT club now that I'm here at University because I'm not sure I'd be able to explain it very well!  Not properly trans, oops. >.<

<Edit> By the way, it's not that I'm saying we're not proper transfolk, just I think that other people wouldn't believe me and would say I'm not.