Quote from: lisagurl on September 23, 2009, 11:19:03 AM
Sexual identity has no business at work. Even for straight people.
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Sorry Lisagurl, but I'll have to disagree on this one.
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Sexual identity isn't just about offensive things that would raise red flags at a sexual harassment seminar. There are subtle reminders of it everywhere.
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It's difficult for many to talk in a personal manner about their own lives without leaving clues as to their own sexuality. Sexuality effects people's lives in many ways, and it's difficult to get close to people without others finding out about it.
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Take my co-worker Cathy as an example:
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Every time she talks about her husband, and often when she talks about her family, it's a huge flag that says, "I'm heterosexual." Most don't notice it, because it's something that is considered normal. But that's the most subtle form of sexual identity in the workplace.
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Then there are the topics in conversation that often come up. What did you do last weekend? "I did (something) with (significant other)." "I went to (gay bar) (strip club) etc." You look sad, are you ok? "Yes, I just had a fight with my husband/SO/etc." Both less subtle, but still very telling about their sexual identity.
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Then there are subtle looks, glances, and how people react to certain subjects or people during conversations. Sexual identity isn't something that can be easily separated from the person. Even in the most professional individual, it's there in all of its quiet subtlety.
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Cathy is also a huge Country Music fan. She loves Toby Keith. The way she expresses her appreciation for him, it's easy to tell that she's heterosexual.
(She freely admits that he wouldn't make it on his music alone
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A bit less subtle, but still within the bounds of polite adult conversation.
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Work isn't just about the job. After you work long enough somewhere, you get to know people and make friends. Personal banter often makes a tedious job more tolerable for many. Some comments and jokes and other things that Cathy says would probably cross some lines if she were talking to a more prudish person she didn't know as well. But coworkers talk and joke about the things that make up and fill their lives. You learn how freely you can express yourself around specific people over time. You make friends. and some of the subjects that come up can and do involve attraction...desire...and sexuality.
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I think it's sad that GLBT's find it necessary to hide such a large part of themselves from others at work. It makes it difficult to make friends. It makes it more difficult to build contacts for networking.
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It's sad...but often understandable given the current social climate.
