Welcome, Lisa. I hope you can move forward.
DIY mones can be dangerous. I hope for your sake that you can work with a qualified physician to do hormones.
We all go about this differently. My first step was counseling, to gain support. So coming here for support is an important first step for you. And there can be a lot of support here.

I felt that I needed to come out of the closet before proceeding with any physical modifications - hormones or laser or electrolysis. I didn't want anyone to notice any changes and then begin wondering. It's worked pretty well for me, but of course YMMV.
Good luck to you.
- Kate