Telling my family

[Adrean]

hi im kinda new here ive recently decided that i want to go through with transitioning. im 18 but i still live at home and i live with my grandparents. ive come out to my mom and most of my friends about this but the rest of my family i dont even know where to begin to expain things. ive already started talking to a therapist about things and my mom supports me on it but i dont think the rest of my family will be as open to it. ive felt like i should have been a woman my whole life but havent told anyone until now. i live in a very conservative town so its not something easy for me to be open about. i plan on moving out before i tell anyone else but i hate keeping a secret this big from them. my family with the exception of my mom and one aunt aren't very accepting people of anything thats different so im also scared to tell them. i know they'll find out eventually wether i tell them or not im just not sure when i should. if anyone has any suggestions please tell me. thanks

[SusanKay140]

Hi Adrean,

Welcome to Susan's.  You will find a lot of information and many friends here to help you in this journey.  It sounds as if you have some family support, and that's good - many have no support at all.  As for living in a very conservative town, well, most of us have that affliction to some extent or another.  Common sense and caring is a valuable commodity, so they are economized greatly.   

Be sure and check out the rules, the Wiki (a great source of information), and again, welcome.

Susan Kay

[Hazumu]

Hi, Aderan;

I'm one of the many staff here at Susans.  You've found a good place.

Please go over to Introductions and say hello ot everybody -- we have different sections for CD/TG/TS/SO, and not everybody checks out areas beyond their own interests/needs.  You have the best chance of meeting people via a posting in Introductions.

The Terms of Service are important, and the rules are (gently) enforced.  We do this to keep Susan's open. Many wish to shut us down, and are looking for any excuse to do so.  But there are many people who need this service (including those under the age of majority,) so we don't discuss things like HRT dosage or how to obtain meds without prescription, or use profanity, or anything that's illegal.  Please check the TOS out for yourself, though.

Welcome -- you're amongst friends who understand...

Karen

[Buffy]

Hi Adrean,

Welcome to Susan's.

You have done a remarkable and frighteneing thing by coming out to your Mum and friends, that is always tough, as the reactions from those we love (if negative) can be painful. The next step is to come out to the rest of your family, which again is a hard thing to do...so think about how, a letter, e-mail, phone call, face to face...

I wrote to those people not totally close to me in my family, which was well received.

I was scared, petrified of their reactions, but it was something that had to be done. As you go through transition, life will become a series of firsts and courageous events, this starts with your family and no matter how they react, if they truly love you they will support you and I so hope that is true.

I was disowned by my Mother & Father, but they came back into my life 6 years later, when they saw a very happy, loving daughter had replaced their only son.....

Best of luck in your transition.....

Buffy

[Adrean]

thanks for all the welcomes. im still nervous about this but im glad i came here.

[nonie]

Hey, welcome and good luck with whatever you decide to do

[HelenW]

Hello and Welcome, Adrean!

Who to tell what and when to tell them has been a big deal for me too.  I think this is true for everyone in our situation since what we are experiencing is so rare and misunderstood.  My strategy has been to tell no one, besides my immediate family, unless it is absolutely necessary or if they start asking questions.  Of course, I realize it's easier for me to risk rejection and tell family since I'm on my own and don't depend on them to support me.  I live in a very conservative town too (the only newspaper is very right wing, for example) and I'm only out to my immediate family and medical team.  I rarely go out as myself even though I started hormones a few weeks ago.

Before telling anyone anything please be careful and think it through very thoroughly.  Susan's site has a lot of information on coming out that would help you alot, (check the links and WIKI, especially) it certainly helped me.  Discussing things beforehand with your therapist is also a good idea.  Coming out is definitely not something you should do hastily!

I'm pleased that you've found us and decided to join in.  I'll be looking forward to reading more from you and I'm again happy to say,

WELCOME ! ! 
helen

[tinkerbell]

Hi Adrean

I am so glad you found us, considering that you are about to tell your family about your TG issues.  As you have probably noticed, we have many members in different stages of transition here at Susan's; our main goals are to listen, share our experiences and provide support to everyone who needs it.  Please take a second to explore all of Susan's forums, for there is plenty of information available in each thread.  I would also recommend our wiki which is one of this site's little treasures and a great source of valuable information on TG and TS issues.  Also, the reference library and the articles on the main page can help you answer most of your questions, but please if you need us to explain anything, do not hesitate to ask for help.  Welcome again and like someone here said, relax because you are among friends...


tinkerbell