Finally Told...

[DamagedChris]

Minor note today...came out to my boyfriend and to my mother (again). Mom also got hit with the double-whammy of finding out I'm bisexual.

With my mom, the convo was unintended, stemming off from her hearing I chopped off all my hair and wanting a picture. Convo kind of went something like this (over text message, lol):
Me: Well, I'm kind of scared to show you.
Mom: Why? Have I ever gotten mad at you for how you cut your hair?
Me: Yes. I cut it like a boy's again.
Mom: Plenty of women have short hair. I just want a picture of my daughter.
Me: Well last time you freaked.
Mom: If you're happy with it it's fine. As long as you aren't going wierd on me and talking sex changing again! LoL!
Me: ....
Mom: Are you telling me youre back to wanting to be a boy again?

God stuff, I know, heh. And then she brought up me earlier saying I was wanting to be with other men, and didn't understand how I could want to be a gay boy too...so was a "now that you mention it" moment afterward, and told er I was bi. Overall, I think she was much more understanding this time than last...but it just could be because she knows she can't stop me this time around. Oh, and she tried scaring me with all the health isues two MtFs that she works with have from hormones and surgery and all. The added banes of having a mother in the medical field.

Boyfriend didn't go as well...he was all accepting at first, but once he had an hour or so to let it sink in he acted as if someone had killed me and replaced me with a martian. We talked a lot, and he still loves me...but then went the entire day pretending like nothing was wrong...or worse, making sure I knew when I was doing something femenine, all "proud of his girlfriend" etc etc. Not sure if he's in denial or what...but I don't think I can take too much more of this (the boyfriend was actually told last week).

Just started therapy as well, hoping to be on T in a month or three.

[Jay]

It sounds like your mums convo didn't go that bad eh?

I think maybe it would be handy to talk to your boyfriend again and tell him that you don't want him to act like that. Because you can't handle it and you will want to be alone..

Jay

[Radar]

About your boyfriend- I understand. I've been through hell with my husband after telling him. It also didn't help that I identify as a heterosexual male. He's going through the grieving process- from depression to denial to bargaining to anger. Right now he's still depressed but not as much. Lately he's been uncommunicative and distant because he's going through the anger stage.

You can't control how your boyfriend will react to it. The best you can do is offer help. My husband has been seeing a counselor, psychiatrist and therapist and was put on anti-depressants. I've also offered to help educate him about ->-bleeped-<-, but so far he's refused. The best you can do is offer help and info- but you can't make him take it. If a person doesn't want to learn about something you can't force them to. It has to be done on their time. Sometimes a person never wants to learn or understand. You can't control that.

Give him some space if he needs it to sort things out. That's what I've been advised to do right now. He may stay, but he'll probably leave- especially if he identifies as a heterosexual male. That's O.K. You can't expect a person to change their sexuality just for you. That's not right. Even though I've extremely enjoyed the time together with my husband I wish I didn't marry him. Only for the fact that he wouldn't be going through this right now. Whatever you do keep true to yourself and don't feel pressured to do something you don't want to do. Don't live a lie.