Another blog post. Enjoy!
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Perhaps the easiest way for me to convey how busy I've been since I lost blogged on here is how much time has passed- about three weeks. It's not that I haven't had time to blog, just that I haven't gone straight to it when I had something to say like I did in the summer. Also, I've been rather tired from trying to wake up at 7 in the morning, which my body definitely does not like. I prefer sleeping in until about 3 pm and staying up until 5 or 6 in the morning. That's my ideal day. College (and the majority of the working world) feels differently.
To start with, I found a site that sells estrogen. I would have to purchase my own syringes and needles and stuff, though. I'm on the fence as to whether I want to go see a doctor at the university's clinic and ask him if he'll administer the shots and what dosage I should be taking. You see, I've never taken estrogen before so I don't know what the results will be. The issue here (as with all other things) is that I don't have a steady source of income and will likely owe the university money to start the 2010 spring semester. Suffice it to say, I have a single room now even though I would have refused it had I known what it involved.
I also tried shaving off the majority of my body hair with a women's razor I bought recently. As I expected, the hair has grown back abnormally fast. I don't want to put myself in the position of having to shave all the hair on my body every third day or so; for now, I'm just going to shave my legs and my face and see what happens. I also got mistaken for a girl from behind today and felt really happy. I'm not even trying to pass or anything (because of my hair issue) but it felt nice to be identified as who I really am.
I'm having people call me by my real name (not my legal name) these days and I like it. The more I hear my real name spoken by someone else, the closer I feel to becoming who I really am. In fact, I would say that my real name provides me with a bond to my true self while my legal name provides me with a tie to delay and procrastination. Quite frankly, I've had enough of delaying and want to move forward.
As such, I posted an article in the school newspaper's opinion section about being transsexual. The majority of the responses I've received have been positive, with one exception. Last weekend, I came home around two in the morning and a drunken person was waiting for me. Just as with the preacher I spoke with earlier in the year, he believed that I could only achieve happiness as a man and so on, and so forth. Basically, he wasn't willing to accept me for who I am and wanted me to be who he thought I should be. I found that to be very annoying.
I went ahead and reported it to my RD. The interesting twist in this tale is that my campus is "dry"- meaning you can get in trouble for being drunk on campus. I did not choose to inform an RA at the time because I didn't want to wake anyone up. However, my RD and my RA now know of this person and an incidental log was written about the incident. Shortly after this happened, I then turned around and wrote a rather angry article for the school newspaper about discrimination and bigotry. I think my next one will about conformity. So far, this person has not apologized to me but told me to "disregard" what he said. He is Catholic.
This semester, I have been learning how to play the piano. I bought my own keyboard a while back and I started using the record feature to listen to my own songs as though I were a neutral observer. I've heard my instructor say that the piece I'm playing (Grieg's In the Hall of the Mountain King) sounds unmastered. When I listened to what I did, I had to agree with him. I've been trying to practice the song every day, but there are also tasks in class to complete, which has made it difficult. In addition, I dabbled with trying to play a song called "600 A.D. in Piano" which is a song inspired by the game Chrono Trigger. I soon realized that I am currently not good enough to be able to learn it and play it properly. I don't know if a day will come when I will be able to do that, I only know it's not today.
In addition to SALE, I've been doing lots of other stuff. I've been covering sports events for the newspaper (last Saturday I covered a swimming match), I've been participating in food service committee meetings, I've been playing at the chess club on campus and I've also (somehow) found time to do my homework, watch anime and Japanese wrestling. This week, I haven't watched any episodes of Galaxy Express 999 that I found on Joost. I'm about 20 episodes in and I might do some over the weekend.
I also helped my dad with his shopping last weekend and got rewarded by him using his Christmas money for me to buy a Fridge for around 130 dollars or so. Now that my roommate has moved out, I need something to store my grapes in other than the kitchen in the basement, which is a pain to get to since I live on the third floor.
Needless to say, the thing I'm most excited about is the estrogen. As much as I want to get it, though, I'd like to be able to get it regularly and that would require some kind of plan in place. I'm hoping to get an RA job for the fall semester of next year and that would allow me to move forward in my transition. Otherwise, I could get something over the summer (as much as the idea seems distasteful to me) and save up some money.
Also, a note for those of you who are unfamiliar with my particular state. The governor and the state legislature have been unable to pass a budget for 100 days as of this posting. There are around 115 days or so until the next budget needs to be submitted.
