The Walk

[K8]

I was a greeter at church today.  You stand at the door and greet people as they come in, handing out programs, trying to make new people comfortable.  It's a job I do now and then.  I usually enjoy it because it's easy and I get to talk to lots of people.

Part of the job is to collect the offering.  You walk to the front, get the basket from the person leading the service, work your way to the back passing the basket through the pews, walk back up to the front to return the basket, and then walk back to your seat.  I did all that, relaxed and not thinking about much of anything.

Earlier in my transition, I had thought about my walk and would self-consciously try to "walk like a girl", but I hadn't thought about it lately.  I don't think I ever mentioned doing this to anyone. 

After the service, a woman came up to me and said: "Well, you've got the Girl Walk down."    I have no idea what she saw in my walk or how I walked that was any different from how I had walked as an ersatz man.  Perhaps it is just letting out those mannerisms that were suppressed many years ago.  I was pleased she said that to me.  I don't know that I always walk like a girl, but it's nice to think that I do sometimes.

It's not "passing" per se, but as we relax into our new (but always inherent) role and let that inner person out, I think that it reassures our friends and acquaintances that this at last is who we really are.

- Kate

[Janet_Girl]

I so understand the release of mannerism.  One day I paid attention to how I was walking and realized that I have a natural 'girl' walk.

Good for you, Kate. 


Janet

[Bellaon7]

Heels really helped force me to learn how to walk. Of course I wouln't recommend going from flats to 5" stiletos, but heels help you to learn to keep your upper body pointed foward, your back strait, & use your hips/torso to propell your forward movement. I also remember being a greeter & alter person, & passing the polished brass collection plate pew to pew!

[K8]

Heels really helped force me to learn how to walk. Of course I wouln't recommend going from flats to 5" stiletos

Oddly enough, I was wearing flats on Sunday.  I wear heels about a third of the time, but I don't have anything over 2 1/2".  (Old ankles. )

- Kate

[heatherrose]

I am just curious Kate, what was her tone when she made the comment?

[K8]

I am just curious Kate, what was her tone when she made the comment?

Kind of matter-of-fact, in a positive way.  She's one of my big supporters.  

She once told me she always felt awkward around me, but now that I'm a woman she feels a lot more comfortable with me.  It's really odd the range of people's reactions. 

(Where's that thread about expectations?  I'm certainly learning a lot about people while doing this.  In another 20 years I might even be smart. )

- Kate

[heatherrose]

No heels on those BA boots in your avitar?
I LOVE boots with heels.
They were how I relearned the walk.

[K8]

The boots in the avatar have heels.  (I love them!)  But I wore flats to church yesterday.  Flats and chinos.  I wasn't feeling particularly feminine and so just threw on some stuff before rushing out the door.

Heels do give you a nice little wiggle when you walk, though.  Today in heels, I caught a guy less than half my age watching me from behind.   Aah, so many men, and I'm coming so late to the game.

- Kate

[heatherrose]

Don't wear 'em all out.
Leave something for everybody else.

[Sandy]

It's not "passing" per se, but as we relax into our new (but always inherent) role and let that inner person out, I think that it reassures our friends and acquaintances that this at last is who we really are.

- Kate

I think it is part physiological, psychological and part subjective.

Physiologically your gait will be come a bit less masculine as you proceed with HRT and your body feminizes.  Also if you are wearing breast forms, you may unconsciously change the way you hold and swing your arms.  That will affect your walk.

Psychologically, as you said you stopped suppressing your natural tendencies to have feminine mannerisms and this may affect your walk as well.  I know I used to examine every movement and every word I uttered had to pass an "masculinity filter".  As I became more comfortable in my role as a woman, I had to make a conscious effort to short circuit that process.

And subjectively, it may be that people now recognize you as female (as opposed to a guy in a dress) and that colors their opinion and see everything you do as female.  If you study other females, especially how they walk, you will see a whole gamut of affectations.  But they are all considered female because they are accepted as that to begin with.

Regardless, you, Kate have really become such a wonderful inspiration.  You are demonstrating that you simply expect the world to accept you as a woman, and lo and behold, it does!  Congratulations!

-Sandy

[Alex_C]

It seems like "male" and "female" are processed at a deep level, and for instance I find it impossible to realize at a gut level that some of my fellow FTMs were ever anything but male. I have not *knowingly* been around a lot of MTFs but many of them are just totally female to me and I can't convince myself otherwise.

[The None Blonde]

I think its mostly guys walk with thier shoulders, and girls with thier hips... its the pivot point of sorts... I guess i didnt paticularly learn how, but just absorbed things from girls around me... by the time i went from the guy living to a more  sandrogynous state, i began to blend to a point where androgynous clothes just didnt stop people taking me for a girl. I think its subconsious mostly... the more you interact with women as a woman the more you just copy them subconsiously... we all do it, its human nature like the infectious yawn and crossed arms etc.

[Alex_C]

It's simple body structure. My hips are wide so I have a waggle when I walk, which I don't like naturally. As my shoulders get wider I'm putting more shoulder into my walk - I also find my nether regions are more comfortable if I walk more like a guy too.