It just got better when I finally walked outside. With the coast clear, I turned, locked my door, turned to my car, and saw the same guy washing his truck coming out of his house. At that point, though, I was done stalling, so just kept going. Now, my house sits in the very back of the longest lane in this mobile home park and being close to 6 in the evening, I wound up passing several children and people. Every one of them stared, but I kept going, not even turning my head in their general direction as I drove past.
From there, I went with my plan for the day. I first hit a convenience store halfway to my destination for gas and an ATM (to avoid any potential conflicts using my debit card). The clerk, in what almost became a running theme for every employee I met, greeted me with a very cautious and slightly confused expression. I said "hello" back, making full eye-contact while doing so, and tracked down the ATM. After many impatient moments of it failing to work, I went back to my car, now with someone on the pump across from me. I paid the man's stare no mind and went about my business.
Next stop was the mall, and I must point out the one thing I didn't account for in this trip. I can tuck with my gaff just fine for the most part, using a little Lanacane (a cream with 20% Benzocaine) to mildly deaden the bits. However, the jeans I chose, while just fine standing and walking, created hell when sitting in most fashions. This mall was roughly 45 minutes away, so the only issue I had with my trip was driving and later sitting in the theater. . .And one stingy instance when I foolishly crouched down to pick up my dropped keys. >_<
Walking around the mall went well, especially considering with Halloween, a ton of little kids darted around everywhere. My wandering moments kept me and my voice on my toes. I got many stares from passers-by, but I never met their gazes. I also could hear some laughing that would happen immediately after some people would pass me. I managed to shrug them off, too.
Thankfully, my movie started only 40 minutes after I arrived, so it gave me the perfect time frame to eat, browse a bit, then hit the theater and go home. Ordering my food, I was met with another cautious and confused clerk, but he didn't address me with either honorific. (In fact, no one used either with me ever.) I took a seat at a table which sat on the edge of the food court, where a train ride for the kiddies (which I had no idea would even be there) would pass. So, as I ate, I had people-a-plenty walk by me. . .And I got by.
The sitting for eating made me feel I needed to make sure my bits were still in order, so I went to the theater and asked to use the restroom. See, I chose this place partially because I knew the theater has a unisex family bathroom. However, as I walked down the hall, I only found a mens' room where it used to be. Discouraged and a bit anxious, I bee-lined for the womens' room as confidently as I could. Luckily it was empty. I went into a handicapped stall, went about my business of rearranging, but at the very moment I started to pull up my gaff, I heard some women and a little girl enter. In a panic, I immediately sat down on the bare toilet seat (ewwww!) and waited them out. After an eternity of fearing I might cough or something and start a riot, they left, I finished, took a moment to admire 1) myself in the mirror and 2) the supreme cleanliness of the facilities, and went to wait for my movie to start.
This brought me to an F.Y.E., and I briskly browsed their TV series and anime series DVDs. My favorite part of the day came when, as I read the back of a DVD, I found myself completely forgetting I was wearing a gaff, a body-shaper, and two nylons of bird seed. For a brief moment, I felt normal. I carried this good feeling back to the theater, saw my movie, then left. . .
. . .but decided I wanted some alcohol, since it's still the weekend after all.
I thought of two options:
1) Go home, clean up, and get whatever.
2) Just go to the Wal-Mart near the mall and get whatever.
I picked 2.
Everything went well here, and it helped I was feeling pretty proud of myself by this point. I did start getting a little anxious waiting in the world's slowed express lane under those bright fluorescent lights, a steady stream of people coming into the store just 30 feet away. I still managed to maintain my composure, though, even jesting with the one clerk who actually smiled at me: When she asked for my ID, I put my finger to my lips and went "Shhhh" with a smirk as I handed it to her.
All in all, I feel great. Best of all, while I chose tonight for the purpose of the "Halloween saftey net," I didn't really dress "costume-y" and really didn't give much thought to the people around me in the sense that I didn't let them control me living. (Except for the bathroom, but I'm calling "discretion is the better part of valor" on that one.) That is, I didn't fall back on or think about the very crutch which had me choose tonight, so I feel I'm off to a good start for the future.
And with my first laser appointment next Friday. . .Yeah, it's all coming along. ^_^
