Hi, I'm 23 and from England. I'm male, but I feel as if there is something more feminine in myself, so I hope this forum can help me begin to understand more about myself. Online, I like to use the name Alex (it's not my real first name).
I was born in 1986 and when I was born, they didn't know whether I was male or female due to my genitals being so small. I was born with something called Noonan's Syndrome, and this has affected my genitals and my heart. Basically, I cannot produce my own testosterone, so I need to take testosterone daily.
I'm fairly masculine looking, with an average male height and masculine facial features, although my finger size would indicate less masculinity. I do however, prefer to have medium length hair (say men's number 5 to 8 - my hair is a wonderful dark brown colour that I love, and which I like playing with). I'm rather small framed and although I have toned legs and some toned muscle elsewhere, I'm certainly not a big man.
Orientation wise, I'm either bicurious or bisexual. That being said, I don't have much of a sex drive and I'm quite the introvert so I'm still a "virgin" at 23. My sexual fantasies are very diverse, but often involve me being a woman, and I often prefer submissiveness in my sexual/masturbatory fantasies, even when I'm male in them - any fantasies I have of being dominant are almost always homosexual.
Biologically and socially, I am a man, although psychologically I feel as if I'm more of a mixture. I'm not the most masculine man ever, but I'm not very feminine either.
As for clothes, I prefer more gender neutral clothes like t-shirts, trainers and tracksuit bottoms. I hate wearing formal masculine clothing such as ties and suits, although this is because I dislike formal clothing in general, preferring more casual and more comfortable clothes.
I did the COGIATI test and got -75, and one of the main questions that stuck out was the one where you were in a situation where you could change between being male and being female at any time. Personally, I would love to be able to do that.
I'm confortable being who I am and being in the body I am (although I could be thinner), but I don't quite know what I am. I know people shouldn't rush to label themselves, but it's one thing I would love to understand more about myself.
So, opinions are welcome and very much appreciated.
