How do you overcome surgery?

[Matthew J. F]

I know if I want to continue with my FTM transition I will ultimately have to have top surgery. My breasts is way too big (their like a D cup) and they will ended up getting in my way of starting my new life as a man and not as a woman anymore.

One of my weakness is surgery. I am terrified of going under the knife. I don't know what to do and how to overcome it. Even thinking about it gives me such an anxiety... I don't know what I would do on the day of the surgery.

If you're like me but went through the surgery... how did you manage to go thru it without going through a panic?

[Lachlann]

I've got the same fear, but then I remind myself that the gas will knock me out before I can really panic.

[Nero]

by realizing that not having the surgery was worse than dying on the table. (for me)

[jesse]

i have had a couple of surgerys not transition related and i can tell you that prior to going under gas u will probably be given valium especially if you tell your surgeon about your anxiety this will help calm your nerves. Once its over its just like any other wound except maybe larger concentrate on healing by following the doctors instructions to the letter
jessica

[Shaun]

I think everyone fears operations. Last year i had my top operation. The night before i havent slept at all and in the morning i couldnt stoop crying with fear. I thought i have the right to live why should i pass fromm all this. But than you realise there's nothing else you can do. You can either decide to start living or let your life pass infront your eyes. Think abit. Its not worth living in this body seeing all the things you wish to do done by others. When you arrive at hospital and the nurses come to talk to you it will feels better. Than when you go down to the theatre you seee the doc and realise now i'm here i cant go back. After i just remember getting dizzy but an injection. I woke up flat and believe i had a huge breast as well cup d. I took a month for recovery but in summer i swam in the see and i'm a totally new person. finally you start to see yourself the man you are. 

[sneakersjay]

I am one who would never take any  medication or consider plastic surgery, as my body is a good one and healthy even if it happened to be the wrong gender. But as I began my transition and people were perceiving me as male, the moobs were just plain wrong.  Right up until they knocked me out, I kept thinking, I'm really doing this?  What woman in their right mind lops their top off?  None.  And I wasn't a woman.  And plenty of guys with moobs have them fixed.  And I did.

Now I'm considering lower surgery (!) when I said I'd NEVER, EVER mess with my junk.  But having a penis and balls, no matter how small, is necessary for ME.

There's still these thoughts of WTF are you thinking?! wrt lower surgery, but then I think what the ladies go through to get their proper anatomy and think, meta is nothing compared to what they go through!

You just DO IT.  Because you HAVE to.  Don't get top surgery if you're not sure.  You may never need or want to have it done, but you may change your mind as you transition.  Nobody says you have to do anything to transition.  Your body, your decision.


Jay

[Janet_Girl]

Fear of surgery is nothing unusual.  I have had two different surgeries and one I did not know that I was to be AWAKE during it.  But they can give you Vicodone to help relax you.  And I am coming up on a third that I will be awake, my Orchie.

But you will be fine.  Inform your surgeon as to your fears and they will set it up so that you can go through it fairly fear free.

Janet

[Alex_C]

It's a "surface" surgery not intra-abdominal, think of it as getting some un-nessesary (sp?) fat taken off.

I still think it's gonna be a big thing for me when I can finally afford to get it done. No working out for I dunno, I think a couple of months. I'm not gonna be able to do much for a couple of weeks, and for the first week be kinda helpless. There are some "drains" for the first week or so that are a pain, then when those are out it's better. Good thing I'm a back sleeper!

It might be a good time to arrange to have a TV and a Barcalounger and just spend a lot of time there, if you're a side-sleeper you might consider sleeping there since it will kinda force you to be a back sleeper.

[Arch]

My experience was kind of like Nero's, I think. For months I mulled over the possibility of top surgery. I was not keen to have any kind of surgery. Then I reached a tipping point; it became absolutely imperative to go under the knife. When I reached that point, I wasn't afraid anymore; I was eager to have the procedure. I was surprised at my lack of fear, especially considering what a chicken I usually am.

I guess a lot of people don't quite get to that point, but they do get to the point where their need exceeds their fear. Perhaps this will happen for you.

If you are in therapy, you will probably find it helpful to talk about this issue with your therapist. I did. And I went to some trans support groups and talked to the other guys. If you have this option, it can be very helpful, depending on the group.

[Nero]

My experience was kind of like Nero's, I think. For months I mulled over the possibility of top surgery. I was not keen to have any kind of surgery. Then I reached a tipping point; it became absolutely imperative to go under the knife. When I reached that point, I wasn't afraid anymore; I was eager to have the procedure. I was surprised at my lack of fear, especially considering what a chicken I usually am.

I guess a lot of people don't quite get to that point, but they do get to the point where their need exceeds their fear. Perhaps this will happen for you.

If you are in therapy, you will probably find it helpful to talk about this issue with your therapist. I did. And I went to some trans support groups and talked to the other guys. If you have this option, it can be very helpful, depending on the group.

Exactly.
I was really nervous, never having had any kind prior surgery or serious medical procedure and I was it really wasn't something I would have done if I could have lived without it. I did fear the surgery and the anesthesia and even sleeping on my back but it came to be a quality of life question for me - take the risk and improve life quality or preserve life at all cost albeit in a miserable state. It really was worth my life not to die with tits. I was extremely dysphoric about that part of my body. YMMV and all that.

And it was worth it to me. I'd take one day in this new comfortable body over years in the old one. However, my feelings on bottom surgery are opposite to that. My genital dysphoria is not strong enough to warrant any surgical intervention.

The need should outweigh the risk. Surgery is a risk and a sacrifice and I believe you should do it only if absolutely necessary to you. Don't have surgery because you're transitioning and it's the next step in the sequence or for society or for any other reason but that you have to.

[Miniar]

I've gotten over the fear of top surgery. Using the "it's just surface" argument.
I'm still all terrified about the damned hysto and that stuff.
I will have the bits removed, obviously. They GOT to go!
But.. it's... invasive...

[Jay]

After my top surgery I am a little more than scared about the future surgerys but its either a happy man or how I am now. And to be honest I am looking forward to being a happy man!

We all gotta do what we all gotta do!

Jay

[Radar]

If it helps you guys any my mother has had many of the surgeries we seek. She had to have one breast removed because of cancer. Later on she had an implant put in and it looks completely real. Her nipple had to be removed as well and she denied a nipple reconstruction (which does make it look weird). She had one tattooed on earlier this year. ()

Years later she had to get a hysterectomy too. My point is she was in her 50s during all this and she healed just fine. They're common surgeries now and- as long as you do what the doctor says- there are few complications. Just thought I'd throw that out there for you guys (and the ladies).

[JonasCarminis]

i have bad anxiety too.  i actually called up my surgeon the night before i was scheduled crying and telling him i was too scared.  i actually cancelled my surgery for about 12 hours.  i was up all night and then i called the next morning and he still had an open slot and took me that afternoon.  i was scared crapless.  it was horrible. >_<  i knew i wanted to have top surgery, but i was just so scared of surgery in general.

and that "the nurses will give you something to calm you down" thing?  no.  no they wont.  i was having a freaking cow just about them sticking me with the IV and they did nothing.  even after i asked.  i was freaking out hard core.

[Arch]

and that "the nurses will give you something to calm you down" thing?  no.  no they wont.  i was having a freaking cow just about them sticking me with the IV and they did nothing.  even after i asked.  i was freaking out hard core.

Josh, I'm sorry you had to go through that. Seems to me that your caregivers should have done a better job. But your experience might not have been typical. My anesthesiologist gave me something to get me started well before they wheeled me in. If I hadn't been super-calm already, I would have been very much calmer when he put that stuff into my IV. I was floating. And then I remember nothing else until I woke up in recovery, saying groggily, "Are they gone? They're gone, right?"

Yep, they were gone. And I'm SO much happier. My quality of life increased so dramatically that I was reminded of the volume knob in This Is Spinal Tap. The one that went up to eleven.

[DamagedChris]

I'm actually not that stressed about the surgery aspect itself as much as the pain and discomfort that comes afterward. My mother and grandmother both had to have hysterectomies, as well as one of my aunts, and they were just fine.

I actually take it back...being awake and aware for a surgery freaks me out a little bit, but mostly because I know how badly I freak out around blood. Though I'm hoping they'd have me doped up enough to not be able to find my feet, much less freak out about them cutting.

[Alex_C]

They like to use opioids like codeine for post-op pain, you won't find your emotions on edge.

[millsy]

I just had my consult last week, and bashfully explained to my surgeon that i was a bit freaked out about being "cut into" while i was still awake (ie: they thought i was under but i wasn't), not being able to do anything about it etc etc- its a paranoid thing stemming from surgery as a teenager, and he said that there is now a machine the anethesists have that monitors your brain waves so they can make sure you are really under. Phew! That was the only thing i was worried about and now it can't come soon enough. There are drugs for pain and pretty girls to look after you after surgery (hopefully! ), and a Playstation ready and waiting for my thumbs so its all go. Jus think about taking that binder out to the back yard and BURNING IT! or donating it to a worthy brother in need.

[Alex_C]

Big Brothers Binder program, or, someone here may need it. I probably won't be able to afford a new binder myself for .... years. This is not to say I'm desperate though, since I get along OK with sports bras so far, and I may make something.

I had two? three? eye surgeries when young and just barely have memories.... so I can always tell myself I got through THAT or something.....