Latest "Adventures"

[Julie Marie]

There's really not a lot that's been happening. I've been pretty tied up with work, electrolysis, doctor visits and sleep when I can get it. But there's been a few highs since I was last here.

I have been totally full time less work and have been out a lot more, some to places I haven't been.  It's been all pretty much positive. Twice I went to a straight club to see a band play and both times the place was packed. The ladies room was no exception. I wasn't sure how the women would respond to me in there waiting for a stall to open but there wasn't any sign anyone was the least bit bothered. Did I pass? I don't know but I did have conversations with a few of the girls and detected no discomfort. Maybe I did.

Last Saturday I had dinner with my sister.  She's only seen me dressed in person once.  We talk a lot but don't get to see each other that often but she's totally accepting.  When I got to the restaurant she was already there.  As I walked up to the table I could see in her eyes she was very surprised.  Then she started with the compliments.  She just kept on and on with how great I looked.  I really needed that.  I think she was also surprised how much I've changed.  And she told me I pass completely.  No one in the restaurant gave any indication she was wrong, including our waiter.  That really felt nice.

I've been to Home Depot a few times but the last time was pretty cool. I've been doing work at my HRT doc's house and when I need material he drives and pays for the material. The last time we were there I had a cart with conduit, electrical boxes, receptacles, etc. on it and we were standing in line at the register. The guy in front of us looks at my doctor and says, "Doing some electrical work today?" My doc points at me and says, "No, she's doing it." The guy looks at me, gives me the once over, smiles and says to my doc, "I gotta get me a girl like that!" Then my doc leans over to me and says, "I'll bet that felt pretty good." Oh yeah!

All this gives me some reinforcement when doubt creeps in.  It seems like the more I interact with mainstream society the better I feel.  Being able to pass was my greatest fear but that fear is beginning to subside.

Anyway, I really missed everyone while I was gone.  I had some issues to sort out but I thought about you all the time.  It's great to be back!

[nonie]

Hey, I was wondering where the heck you were.  I'm glad to hear everything's going so well.  Sometimes I feel like I don't get out enough, cuz sitting at home with no "mainstream society" to interact with, I start to doubt myself again sometimes.  I need to do what you're doing

[Buffy]

Welcome back Julie....

It is great to see you are getting out, with family and in everyday situations. Full time is a big step.

From one living in mainstream society, let me say there is no better feeling than to have totally integrated into life as a woman.

In early transition it is exactly that, a transition between the two genders that we are going to and from. The more experience we can get out in the "real world", the better.

It is a very steep learning curve, the social skills and emotions we need to survive on a daily basis are not part of our conditioning and we have to learn them and practice them on a daily basis..... It takes time.

When I first transitioned, fear and paranoia where part of my everyday life, Full time was particularly challenging as I know I didn't look or act the part, going out was scary and at times stressful.

But we learn and the world is not as frighteneing as it first seems, once we become confident and accepted in our roles. Re-enforcement is a big part of that, even now 4 years post op, the words "Can I help you Madam?", thrill me everytime I hear them.

I guess it took 2 years to fully come to a stage in my life where I was always confident in my own abilities. It doesn't happen overnight, the worlds perception of us (as woman or men) is what we have to overcome and HRT, FFS, SRS etc... all have a role to play in that.

Sounds like you are having a great time.... keep smiling!

Buffy

[tinkerbell]

Hey Julie,

I'm sooo proud of you Ms. Pretty Lady.

Hey, I am the only one who can call her pretty lady.  Just kidding!

Welcome back indeed Julie; we have to chat one of these days.....

tinkerbell