RLE and the mail

[SidoniaTG]

Hi everyone,
I got a really big hangup with being fulltime.  I have yet to be able to go to the post office or receive a package from mail carrier or UPS in full mode.  A big part of it has to do with showing my ID and still having a male name and marker even though I look kind of female.  The other day, a rather humiliating experience happened with UPS.  I was supposed to be getting a package but had an appointment with my therapist that day.  I waited til the very last minute b4 finishing getting ready and no delivery.  So I finish shaving my face and putting on my makeup and brushing my hair.  I check to make sure I'm as presentable as currently possible.  My wife and I go to the bus stop to wait for the bus.  A UPS truck drives by and turns down the street we live on.  I told my wife that I bet that was my package.  Sure enough after getting home after therapy, the familliar notice is on the door.  So next day I was only in my female clothes no makeup and a "day after" shadow on my face.  I go to the door when UPS arrives.  He said he saw me yesterday at the bus stop and said to his coworker that that was probably me and that he prolly isn't home.  After siging for package I get the "thank you, Sir" .   The previous day I was completely full mode falsies, purse, and makeup ( I'm always in female clothes because that is who I am and don't even have any male clothes and haven't for a long time).  I am not considering myself as RLE yet... But I am always dressed and most of my mannerisms according to my wife are very feminine naturally.  There are similar situations where I will prolly have to present ID and I don't dolly up to the max as I always do for everything else.  I know a big part of why I have a problem with this is confidence and worrying what other people think.  Kind of hypocritical of me because I really don't want to have to feel the need to pass nor do I want to be stealth. It might be easier once I get my name changed at least.  I am pre-op and have not started hormones yet and don't have a start date yet either.  I guess I have a question... What really constitutes RLE/RLT?

Sid

[Janet_Girl]

RLE/RLT is when one present their chosen gender 24/7, including work and socializing as that gender.

Parameters of the Real-Life Experience. When clinicians assess the quality of a person's real life
experience in the desired gender, the following abilities are reviewed:
1. To maintain full or part-time employment;
2. To function as a student;
3. To function in community-based volunteer activity;
4. To undertake some combination of items 1-3;
5. To acquire a (legal) gender-identity-appropriate first name
6. To provide documentation that persons other than the therapist know that the patient
functions in the desired gender role.

But from a personal standpoint it is when you begin to live as your true self, in my case as a woman.  And you would be surprised how quickly it goes by.  I now qualify for everything, but I lack the funds.  But so I will take the next step, Orchidectomy.


Janet

[FairyGirl]

the longer you do it the easier it gets. I would feel very strange now if I had to dress up as a man in front of anybody lol

[SidoniaTG]

I'm not that passable even when I am in complete full mode.  So for me to just be in female clothes I'm looked at as male by most everyone.  Even with makeup, falsies, purse, etc.... the full me, I still get recognized and treated as male by about half the people I come in contact with.  I see myself as female and living female life and feel that I have been living as my true self for at least a few years.  As far as appearance, I have been living full mode about a lil over 1 month.  As far as the standards go, I'm currently disabled and am not in school so the first 2 can't be done yet.  The third one goes along with the first for right now until I am farhter along in transition.  The last two... I plan on getting my name changed hopefully the earliest in January and my therapist and primary doctor are helping me overcome my disability so I can work and afford medical transition.  Yes it does get easier every time.  I need to just do what I need to do for these few times I am really uncomfortable and be me and try not to worry about what they think.  Then maybe these times will be like all the rest and get easier.

Sid

P.S. If I am yapping too much... just tell me to shut my yap.  It's okay... I'm supposed to be working on shortening things I want to say.

[Bellaon7]

the longer you do it the easier it gets. I would feel very strange now if I had to dress up as a man in front of anybody lol

Well put & so right!

[NikkiJ]

Sidonia, you'll be fine. Don't worry about what others may think, honestly, they don't care. I was buying some make up one day before being totally 24/7, and paid with a credit card. I was asked for my drivers' license as apparently they were getting some bad credit/stolen credit cards.

I took out my male license and handed it to her saying "It's a little different" or something to that extent. No big deal.

Hold your head high, girl.

[SidoniaTG]

Thanks very much!  Yes, I'm getting there slowly.  I have been learning alot from soooo many topics here  .  Part of the problem is learning to lighten up and not be so hard on myself.  I'm startin to do alot better and my therapist thinks so too.  She said I'm ready to cut down to a session every 2 weeks instead of every week  .  By January I should have my name changed and new ID and I sooo can't wait!

Sid