I'm sorry Im crying

[Sarah_Faith]

I came home from the Octoberfest festival there this evening. I came home alone as there was no need for a friend. On my way to bed my dad called me into his room, (he sleeps separate to my mam, Im 24) as my mam is away. He basically wanted to talk to me and make sure I was ok. Im not. Over the last few weeks Ive arranged an appointment with a gender therapist etc, but I still have to wait.

My dad and I had a very in depth chat. He basically explained that anything I had could be shared. Maybe he thinks Im gay. I dont mind if he does think that, but Id rather he know what I actually am. I never get teary, ever, emotional maybe, but not this. Its 03:50 and I can honestly say Im totally upset. Its a new feeling for me. I just want to break down.

My dad has explained in great detail that I can talk to him about anything, but that just makes me worse.The fact that hes so good about this that makes me so bad. This is so unlike me and I just need to vent, so dont pay too much attention. I love and admire you all.x

[Dianna]

Why don't you talk to your Dad about yourself Sarah?   Do you think that would be too much for him to handle?

I just read your post again, maybe you have.

[Sarah_Faith]

Last night was a new one. Being this way is really getting a hold on me. At least I know my dad is open to whatever, even if he doesn't realise the enormity of the situation. I'll get there. Gotta have a long talk with my psychologist first though. My mood is all over the place lately for some reason and I wanna make sure I'm as stable as possible before I have 'the chat'.

[jesse]

understood sarah you are very lucky to have such an understanding dad i think he knows or understands more then you may realize hugs it will get better
jessica

[wannalivethetruth]

i agree with sarah. Once you tell him, most likely it wont be how you think it is. He may ask a bunch of questions, but it most likely wont be the way you think its going to be. 

[SilverShadow]

It's true in just about everything that things usually get worse just before they get better. Strength to you, Sarah. 

I know how you feel about telling your dad. When he says he'll understand, it kinda creates a new dilemma: You in a way know that you could just tell him, but on the other hand you can't convince yourself that anyone could understand your situation. I myself feel It's kind of embarassing to talk about my personal stuff to someone who basically supports me but in reality doesn't know a thing about the subject I'm talking about. I'd end up having to explain them everything from the groung up. How can they tell you they support you when they have no idea about the things you need support with? For me, compassion is a good start, but it's not enough on its own. On the other hand, anyone who cares about you is ready to do some research themselves if they don't know enough. It's just that I can't bear to see the puzzled look on someone's face when I'm trying to tell them something about myself. Not that I've told much of anything about my life to anyone anyway... There hasn't been all that much to tell. Until now.

Just my 2 cents worth. I  haven't gone through anything similar myself, yet... Then again, my parents haven't even taken my thoughts of becoming a vegetarian seriusly...  Guess I'll have to wait until I move away from home (and that's definitely *not* gonna be possible until a couple of years from now). Seems to me they just totally ignore anything they don't want to  see. So Sarah, you're lucky to have a dad like that. Your dad has been so understanding so far that I'm sure he'll wait until you're ready to talk to him about things when *you* feel like you're ready.

Sarah, I'll reply to that PM later today. 

[Suzy]

Sarah, many would just die to have a dad who is as understanding as that.  I hope you feel like you can talk to him soon.  You might ask your therapist to do a run through, sort of roll play with you on this.  Mine did and it was helpful.

Best wishes,
Kristi

[Dana Lane]

One thing that seems for certain is that your Dad loves and cares about you. I don't know what to say about you having to wait until your see your therapist. I totally understand.

[FairyGirl]

Being trans is almost like the ultimate thing you can tell your parents. Ususally the first thing they think is that they did something wrong to make you that way. My mom did. If your father is ready to accept you as being gay then it's probably okay. Kristi's advice about the practice run sounds excellent. I wish you the best of luck with this.

[Karlee]

Hey there.
Aww, I feel so sorry for you! I know how you feel. It can feel...bad or shameful sometimes. But, you shouldn't let it get you down. I am very new to this, but that won't stop me from trying to help you out.

You are who you are, and that is okay! You shouldn't feel bad for who you are. You should be proud! You are very special in your own unique way, and no matter what, you are always loved. Just listen to your heart, and keep yourself together.

Your dad seems to be very accepting and open to a lot of things. He wants to make sure that you are okay, and that if you need help, he can provide it for you.

Please, do whatever is best for you. Stay safe, take care of yourself. You're an amazing person at heart, and I am sure that, whatever you decide, that you will continue to be amazing, and make some people very happy.

All the best to you. Good luck.

Love,
Dizzyy.