getting bolder and bolder in trans[gressing] the boundaries

[demoiselle65]

AFTER trying out the idea in the forum "What female clothes can you wear without drawing attention?" [and my reply #45]--and Wendy's 'daring' exploits {I think in # 46 and elsewhere}... And also after many times of dressing as women actually do in casual wear [in my case this means: women's jeans or pants, blouse or top with silky material and sometimes a bit of lace, sometimes with bra [but no padding] and sometimes just a chemise; loafers with two inch wide heels; handbag; scarf on head [no wig]], I've found two things happening: a) it gets easier and easier, less and less of a big deal, and I add more and more places I can go ; b) but if I want to get that thrill I have to add something more fem/less strictly androgynous--which I of course do.
          What's interesting to me is that I've gone out dressed many times in club wear [shorter, clingy dresses, stylish skirt/heels, etc going out occasionally in the hot-nite-date type of attire]--but there was nothing like a) and b) happening.
         what progress! [some or most would say regress].  Last nite for example I did something I'd never have done a few months ago--went to the supermarket at 2 am--its a large 24 hour store, and not too many shoppers at that time but a lot of stockers around. i had light mascara/makeup, very tight jeans, flats, a shoulder bag, blue women's tailored top and gray jacket that is part of a skirt/jacket outfit. Some of the stockers looked as I walked past and the check out lady looked me right in the face and must have seen my makeup and was friendly.  Tonite I took a long walk in a below the knee skirt gray skirt and blue sweater with sequins. Of course in a safe area. But who knows WHAT I'll be doing in 3 months. Its a little scary but really appropriate and reasonable in other ways.

[jesse]

you are way more secure in yourself then i am at the moment
jessica

[Kimberley]

You certainly have done more than what I presently have courage to do. I am however making some small steps. This morning I shaved my legs. I don't know why because it wasn't pre-meditated. As I finished shaving I then used the trimmer on my electric shaver and just started shaving my legs. After I did my legs and liked the look of them then I did my chest. My arms below the elbow are not very hairy so need to do them and I have very little hair on the top of my hands and no hair on my fingers and no hair on my arms above the elbow. After getting out of the shower I moisturised all over. It felt good. Then I painted my toenails and put on a pair of new 10 denier sheer skin tone pantyhose. The feel was heavenly, I felt so comfortable. Felt totally different with no hair on my legs they stayed in place. Seemed like they just became part of my skin. I then put on a short skirt, blouse and strappy heels and spent the day dressed as I was alone all day. I even ventured out to my backyard in the evening, the cool air on my legs and shoulders made me feel so alive. Kimberly had a great day.

[demoiselle65]

You know, Kimber and Jesse,
what you're saying is just what I've said or thought up to now. But try this if you haven't. Just start with something thats a little uncomfortable for you [genderwise], enough to sort of make you feel just a little nervous [like the clickety click of low heels on loafers, wearing women's jeans/plain top or something], go out. Repeat. Then just add a little something to that and build on it. Take a walk from point a to point b. You don't have to go in stores or anything. It would be interesting to hear from you after you've messed around with this a few times, cuz my point was that there's something different to this than going all the way, as in 'dressed girly girl or screamingly female'. Which I do, but always makes me fairly nervous
Sarah

[Kimberley]

Hi Demoiselle,

I have ventured outside dressed on 3 occasions. Both were in winter and late at night. Its safe were I live. I guess some background is needed. I live three houses away from my brother. He and his family had gone away for four weeks and I would go up and stay at his place to make it look like someone was still there. I did something which I felt guilty about which was to try my sister in laws clothes on. We are very similar in size. Just opening the double doors to her wardrobe and seeing all her clothes hanging was too hard to resist.  So I went crazy trying on dresses, skirts blouses and long evening gowns. Some fitted me quite well others were a fraction tight. Shoes did not fit, they were too small and she has some gorgeous shoes. Anyway I brought my own pair. One night when I was leaving to go back home I decided that since it was late and no one was out ( I checked the street while in boy mode)  I would walk home dressed. I figured that no one would be able to tell who I was, it being dark. So I went out dressed in my 4 inch heels and walked home and yes they did the click click sound on the roadway. That was a wonderful feeling, I felt so at ease and natural being dressed walking home. I did this for another 2 nights. The rest of the time I would arrive early and get dressed paint my nails and have dinner watch a movie all dressed for about 5 or 6 hours. I felt so liberated.  I was happy to have them home but a part of me wished they could have stayed away longer so Kimberly could come out some more for much longer.

[demoiselle65]

Thanks for the background, Kimber. It makes total sense that you'd be uneasy with [though thrilled by] being dressed. I've done that so many times the thresholds change and my relation to the clothes and activity becomes more familiar, while new things open up.

If you went out, say, 10 times as opposed to three you'd probably feel a change [for one, one you might be more discriminating with outfit ["THAT skirt with THIS blouse? now WHAT was I THINKING!]"

Yes, it's definitely harder to indulge with relatives/family around. To get around that a friend rents hotel rooms now and then.  Judging from my own case, crossdressing is neither bad nor good in itself...if you don't do it you may feel like you're denying yourself, and if you do you may have to deal with other people. And then again it doesn't have to be all or nothing. I find myself going thru cycles--like in the approach of winter [=Oct/Nov] I really feel like it, also in approach of summer [Feb/March]  ...Strange
sarah

[Kimberley]

I find that lately I will say to myself when I see a GG not co-ordinated well (in my eyes) "What were you thinking girl when you teamed that skirt with that top or do you really think that the shoe style is right for your outfit.

I often take my sister in law out shopping for clothes for herself and my teenage niece. I am much better off financially and I gain much personal satisfaction from buying things for them that they otherwise could not afford.  Anyway when clothes shopping I will co-ordinate an outfit and she will say, yeah great selection or this would be better. She has good taste, I like her taste in clothes. Anyway on one recent shopping trip at one store, like your Nordstrom I picked out a dress that she liked and she was trying it on with other outfits she had picked. She came out of the change room and asked if I could get a larger size. I knew where it was because I picked it for her. I went to the change room and the shop assistant without any reaction at all gave me a ticket with the number 1 meaning I was taking one garment into the change room. When my sister in law saw this she laughed and said the shop assistant thought I was trying on the dress. She then dared me to go into the change room and try it on. She said that it would fit me. She said she would bring me a pair of heels to see how I would look. As much as I wanted to try the dress on I declined.                                             

[demoiselle65]

That experience sounds as nice as if you'd actually done something countersexual.

[SilverDragon419]

Something that I noticed is that people will almost always act the same way when subject to a crossdresser. Every individual has a different reaction. More accepting groups will act better than less accepting ones, but in the end it is up to you.

Forget what other people do. It is their own personal journey of acceptance that they need to go through.

Do what you think is right, what you want to do. No one can stop you if its what you really want.


Forget the people that give you stares. It is their problem, not yours, that makes them do it.


Hope that helped. signing out.