I need my hair to look 'male professional' while I grow it.

[Sarah_Faith]

So that's what I need. Let me explain.

I may well be starting a new job soon, hopefully anyway, where I will be driving around Dublin doing sales for a telecoms company. It will very much be suit and tie and professional look.

I need to find a hair style that is unmistakingly male professional, while letting it grow. Gel will also kinda be a requirement. So how should I work this? What styles exist that let my hair grow, without it looking unprofessional or just plain messy?

With enough of time, long enough on hormones, I should then be able to switch to me mode then if the job is an understanding one!

Sarah.x

[Mischa]

Your best bet is to look through photos on the web or at your stylist shop(the books). It will allow you to find something that fits your face and style. There are alot of unisex cuts that may fit your needd

[Janet_Girl]

Depends on the length now.  If it is long enough maybe a short shag, that could be restyle for those girl nights out.


Janet

[Sarah_Faith]

Hi Janet!

I defo like the look of that shag. Ive never had a girls night out It's my play to grow my hair from now, it's still very short, horrible manly short.

I wanna grow my hair in a way that is acceptable at work till I can pass full time. That's a beautiful feminine style though Janet and it's defo one I'll be keeping in mind!

[K8]

There are a lot of longer men's styles that you could adopt while growing your hair.

I have been going to a hairdresser for a few years.  I would tell her what I wanted - fullness on the sides, a little long, but easy to maintain - and she would do her magic.  When I decided to start working toward being Kate, I told her (being sure she wasn't holding anything sharp at the time ).  She then gave me a female version of the same haircut I had been getting.  (A woman's cut is done differently than a man's.)  And she's ranged from there.  (Plus, I cherish our time for girl talk while she's working on my hair. )

If you can establish a good relationship with a good hairdresser, it will make things a lot easier.

- Kate

[Cadence Jean]

Hey, Sarah - this is a great topic.  I'm finding myself in a similar predicament.  I've always had shorter hair, probably because the only time I tried to grow it out was as a kid, and when I told my mom what I wanted to do, she ended up giving me a mullet.  Talk about traumatizing.  Since then, I've kept it fairly short until recently.  Unfortunately, I don't have much to add to this topic, except that I'm in the same predicament!  I need to keep my hair business professional(no emo cuts allowed - bummer) but allow it grow some length.  I'd love an androgynous cut, but I haven't found one online that would work for a professional male.  Anybody have links?

[K8]

Here's a picture from three years ago:



And here's one from a few months ago:



- Kate

[Julie Marie]

Here's some ideas:



Some can be easily made into female styles.

Once you commit, don't cut it, no matter what.  There will be a time when it looks bad and you'll think you have to cut it.  Don't!  And don't let anyone convince you that you need to trim it in order to make it grow faster.  If your hair is healthy, leave it alone.  Only trim off split ends.

Beard shadow or stubble will reduce the chances of your hair style being seen as feminine but if you've committed to transitioning you should begin facial hair removal ASAP.  When the hair is long and the beard is gone it will be tougher passing as a guy.

Julie

[Lisa Howard]

K8, I love what you have done with your hair.

If (like mine at the mo) your hair is very short you could aim for a bit of a pixie cut, whilst it grows out.
when you get it trimmed, keep the layers as long as possible. as it gets longer you can train it to lay in a more femminine parting more brushed back than side parted. Also if you keep it cut into points at the sides (rather than blunt side burn style), this will give a more femminine look to the style whick can easily be disguised when in Bob mode.

hugs

Lisa xx 

[Lyric]

So, let me get this straight: You're a MTF transsexual and you want to start a new job looking like a "unmistakeably male professional" while growing out your hair and on hormones so you can suddenly show up one day to be accepted as unmistakeably female? This seems to be a seriously flawed plan to me. To be honest, it sounds like you're having difficulty committing to your transition. And I've little doubt the people you work with will have trouble accepting it. If you feel strongly enough in your womanhood that you're going to change your body, you do not need to start a new job as a man. Don't make things any harder for yourself than they already are. It sounds like you need to do some additional counseling and fully assess yourself. I'd say you should, at the very least, start your new job as a woman-- or find a different job, making your androgyny/femininity obvious from the start. The time for commitment is now, not later, Sarah.

Lyric

[K8]

So, let me get this straight: You're a MTF transsexual and you want to start a new job looking like a "unmistakeably male professional" while growing out your hair and on hormones so you can suddenly show up one day to be accepted as unmistakeably female? This seems to be a seriously flawed plan to me. To be honest, it sounds like you're having difficulty committing to your transition. And I've little doubt the people you work with will have trouble accepting it. If you feel strongly enough in your womanhood that you're going to change your body, you do not need to start a new job as a man. Don't make things any harder for yourself than they already are. It sounds like you need to do some additional counseling and fully assess yourself. I'd say you should, at the very least, start your new job as a woman-- or find a different job, making your androgyny/femininity obvious from the start. The time for commitment is now, not later, Sarah.

That's all very well and good, but in my limited experience transition takes a long time and is a gradual process.  If you have short hair and beard shadow and a male name, it will be hard to find a job as a woman.

Part of the plan, Sarah, should be to become such an integral part of the company - so valuable to them - that when the time comes to actually start full-time they will be delighted to keep you.   In the meantime, after you are well settled into the job and are working toward the big day, talk to your manager about making the switch.  There are many on this site who have done that.  But first you have to prove that you are an asset to the team.

Be 'male professional' as long as you need to and until you can become 'female professional.'

Good luck, hun.

- Kate

[Cadence Jean]

Once you commit, don't cut it, no matter what.  There will be a time when it looks bad and you'll think you have to cut it.  Don't!

Oops!  Too late.  I woke up last Monday and couldn't stand it anymore.  I have this wicked cow lick immediately to the left of center, and it was driving me batty.  I went to my stylist and them buzz me back to what I was at before I started letting it grow at the beginning of summer.  My thought is that if I so desire, I could try out a wig if I leave it short.  I don't have any plans to transition in the near future, so it's not like I set that back any.  My hair would be kept on kind of the short side as far as fem cuts go anyway.

[r.morgan]

Ok, this is a little late but in case you change your mind later:  I, too, have unruly hair that must be put in it's place. I found a product at the Penny's salon called Hard Up by a company called Sexy Hair - it's supposed to be for spiking short hair up but I found it can keep even my wild hair in check.  I usually just go with the "slicked back" look at work.  It's easier while I'm growing my hair out until I can pony tail it again.

[Sarah_Faith]

I've introduced my girlfriend to the idea of me getting my hair styled. It's getting longer now, but I start a job on monday! It's going to look a bit messy for a while and I'm not really sure I can do that???

Is there a style I can ask for in a hairdressers now that will give it a shape that looks good and then it can grow into that? Bit of a tall order I know, but I've laid the groundwork for this and I really want to continue with it.

[K8]

Years ago, in hippie stage, I grew my hair out.  I just didn't get it cut for almost two years.  It looked like hell. 

I've learned since then that you can grow your hair out and still have it look good.  The secret, perhaps unfortunately, is to find a good hairdresser.  Tell her (or him) what you want it to look like in a year and she will keep trimming it so that it will grow out to that and look good in the meantime.  It may take a little longer to get to the style you want (but maybe not) but you won't look like Medusa as it grows.

How do you find a good hairdresser?  I'm not sure, but what worked for me was that every time I saw a woman with hair similar to mine (texture, thickness, natural curl) and who looked nice, I would ask where she got it cut.  I've been very happy with how that worked out.  (BTW I was stiill presenting male at the time.)

Tell your hairdresser the general parameters (shape, length, how much daily effort you're willing to put in) and let her (or him) do their magic.

Good luck!

- Kate

[r.morgan]

Finding a good hair dresser can be hard if you do it by trial and error.  It will most likely feel like a lot of error.   One option is to ask others where they got their hair cut, especially when they are happy with the results.  When in doubt ask the girls in the salon who they would trust with their hair.

On a personal note: Don't skimp!  I have never gotten a cut from a super cheap place that I have been happy with.  The worst experience I had was asking for a "light trim and shape" just to clean it up a bit and ended up losing over 4 inches. Remember you get what you pay for.

If you're really stuck finding a place:  I get my hair done at J.C.Pennies (there seem to be everywhere around here).  They have a group they call Senior Stylists.  They are supposed to be by appointment only, so call ahead because you can't count on being able to walk in and getting one.  But they are the ones who have been doing it long enough that they have a costumer base built up who know to ask for them specifically.  I've never been disappointed with any cut I've gotten from them.  Even when I decided to chop it off and ended up regretting the decision - it was still a good cut.

[placeholdername]

Hair is tricky.  I started growing mine over a year ago, mistakenly went to get a 'trim' about 2 months in and they lopped off 1.5-2 inches.  So I haven't gotten it cut since.  There was definitely about a month and a half where I thought it looked super terrible all day long, but eventually I got over that and now I kind of like it.  But as far as this thread goes, it definitely doesn't qualify as male professional... my hair is naturally wavy, on the verge of being slightly curly... it's kind of like the hair on the bottom left guy in the photoset but brown and... wavier .

[K8]

They are supposed to be by appointment only, so call ahead because you can't count on being able to walk in and getting one.

You can never count on getting a good cut if you just walk in.  You might, but you can't count on it.  Anyways, you want to develop a relationship with your hairdresser.  You will be far more pleased with the results and they will be more consistently pleasing.

JMHO

- Kate

[r.morgan]

You can never count on getting a good cut if you just walk in.  You might, but you can't count on it.  Anyways, you want to develop a relationship with your hairdresser.  You will be far more pleased with the results and they will be more consistently pleasing.

I agree but when dealing with any salon the first time it's kind of a stab in the dark unless some one made recommendation.
Call ahead get an appointment WRITE the name of the person who does your hair down.  If you like the work they do - ask for them again, if not request someone else.   Still a bit of trial and error but at least you'll be on the right path and not making the same mistake twice.

[K8]

Oops, once again I find that I am clueless and living in a bubble.   I have never made an appointment with a salon - always with a particular hairdresser.  I didn't even know you could do it any other way.    

(And when I asked other women where they got their hair done, I always asked for the hairdresser's name, not just where she worked.  Sorry I wasn't clear earlier. )

- Kate