Choices
This has been the happiest year of my life, "ever !" I'm comfortable in my own skin today and I love my physical appearance. I have been welcome in most women circles and treated like one often. I'm able to stand up for myself and give snarky comments ("That's not my name or sex") for the few who thought they had a meaningful relationship with "him". I'm less dysfunctional, self absorb, fear ridden, jealous, angry, confused, purposeless, suicidal and narcistic, If i may say so myself, giggles
I'm called the "social butterfly" in the social circles i attend. I have a relationship today with a wonderful woman who gets me and were planning on getting married. Work still sucks but the guy's are conceding to the facts that they work with a transgender woman.
This past week has been emotional and challenging for Girlfriend and I. Being a pre-op transgender woman present unique challenges in our relationship and more emotional content is added when the woman you love wants to marry. My girlfriend also want me to have my Genital Reassignment Surgeries ASAP. The biggest challenge right now is Financial. We're both on a fixed limited income and responsible for our own domiciles and bills.
This week i been doing the things necessary to have an orchiectomy procedure done in spring 2010 followed by GRS in 2011/2012 when i can borrow $20k from my 401k. During the phone consultation i was told that Orchietectomy has increased in cost to $4000 from $3500. I was in shocked, I had planned on using my tax return in February to fund the orchiectomy. Then i started thinking, for the people that knows me, they know that's not always a good thing and leads to DRAMA!
The only reason that i want an Orchiectomy is to have my gender marker changed and to be able to whip my driver license out when i get harrassed. I do want to get married and THINK that we should move in together and co-habitate first. I would like to have a nice ring too that would not put us in the poor house and I deserve a party/celebration when we do get married.
So, what I'm planning to do (How to make God laugh, make a plan):
Forego the orchiectomy use the money from tax return and move out of state into Massachusetts with the Girlfriend. I dropped this like a bombshell on my girlfriend lap and she was none to please with it at first. (she thought i wanted to keep the not mentioned parts of my body. YUCK!)
By moving to Massachusetts, I can have my gender marker change without surgery for around $250 with new driver license. I would have to fill out the Mass Gender Change form which is hard to find online and I had to asked the Mass Law library and they found the form for me. (if you need a copy i can email it to you) I don't want to marry my Girlfriend with a gender marker that is wrong and I'm still up in the air about that one because my company those not offer same sex partner benefits due to the DOMA law. Massachusetts is a same sex marriage state (will see about that in the future with Maine repealing same sex marriage) so getting married as female is no problem.
So, we find a nice apartment in Massachusetts with the tax return money, cohabitate get to know one another better and build a home. Work on getting the $20k for GRS ASAP.
So God, a little help please if it be thy will.....and thank you!!!!
Ms. Robin Kem
