Hello everyone, my name is Megan and I can't tell you how happy I am to have found this place.
I'm 24 years old now, and I guess I've known that who I really was inside didn't match the exterior since I was about 13. I started out dressing up in my mum's clothing and messing around with her makeup at about that time (when no-one else was home, of course), and spent most of the time daydreaming about what things would have been like for me if I'd been given the right body, instead of the one I'd been stuck with. High school wasn't the best of times for me, I really withdrew into myself because I was so afraid of people finding out the truth. It all became too much and I kind of put all of that on hold when I left school, moved cities and managed to end up living in a share house full of guys. I tried to forget about what I'd felt for so long, try and be a "normal" member of my physical sex, which I did manage to do (at least on the outside) for a couple of years. But all it really did was make me even more miserable.
About two years ago I reached my limit - I hit the wall physically, mentally and emotionally, and I realised that it was about time that I start taking care of myself. And to do that, I had to admit to myself that everything I'd felt all this time was true: I was a woman and I needed to be living my life in acceptance of who I really was.
In the beginning I was definitely scared about where this path would lead me, fear of the unknown I suppose, but now I know it was the best thing that I ever could have done for myself. I've been on HRT for about 6 months now, which I started right after I moved out of the whole share house thing and got a place by myself, and when I look in the mirror now its like I'm seeing the person that was always in there, hiding away, coming out bit by bit. My friends and family have been so good to me, its the most liberating feeling in the world knowing that I'm no longer lying to the people that I love, and they've all accepted me in a way that I never thought would happen.
I'm yet to attempt transitioning in any serious way, I've been gradually letting myself have a more feminine appearance (which people definitely notice, I get a lot of confused stares), but every day I feel I'm getting closer to the time when I will have the confidence to let the whole world see me in the same way that I see me.
I've had a really hard time meeting other TS people, so I was so excited when I found this place. It's really good to know that other people are having similar experiences to me, and that there is a place where I can feel accepted for the woman that I am.
Thanks for listening
,
Megan
